Doris Lessing - Play With a Tiger and Other Plays

TOM: Well, now you’ve gained your little need of sympathy from Anna, perhaps I may be permitted to say a word or two?

HARRY: No. You two should just kiss and say goodbye and stop tormenting each other.

TOM: Anna I know that what goes on in the street is a hundred times more interesting than I am, but …

HARRY: Of course it is, she’s waiting for Dave.

ANNA: I’m not waiting for Dave.

[ She comes away from the window. Sits on the bed, her head in her hands. ]

TOM: I want to talk to Anna.

MARY [ from downstairs ]: Puss, puss, puss, puss.

TOM [ mocking her ]: Puss, puss, puss, puss.

HARRY: Mary should get married. Anna, you should make Mary get married before it’s too late.

TOM: Before it’s too late!

ANNA: Mary could marry if she wanted.

TOM [ derisively ]: Then why doesn’t she?

ANNA: Strange as it might seem to you, she doesn’t want to get married just for the sake of getting married.

HARRY: Yes, but that’s all very well, Anna. It’s all right for you – you’re such a self-contained little thing. But not for Mary. You should get her married regardless to the first clot who comes along.

ANNA: I – self-contained!

TOM: Yes, it’s true – self-contained!

MARY [ from downstairs ]: Pussy, pussy, yes come here, puss, puss, puss, puss.

TOM [ to HARRY]: She’s getting worse. [ as ANNA stiffens up ] Yes, all right, Anna, but it’s true. [ to HARRY] She’s man-crazy …

HARRY: Oh you silly ass.

TOM: Well she is. She’s crazy for a man, wide open, if you so much as smile at her, she responds. And Anna says she doesn’t want to marry. Who are you fooling, Anna?

ANNA [ sweetly ]: Perhaps she prefers to be sex-starved than to marry an idiot. Which is more than can be said about most men.

HARRY: Now Anna, don’t start, Anna, Tom’s a nice man, but he’s pompous. [ to TOM] You’re a pompous ass, admit it, Tom.

TOM: All I said was, Mary’s man-crazy.

ANNA [ on the warpath ]: Do you know how Tom was living before he started with me?

HARRY: Yes, of course. Anna, don’t make speeches at us!

TOM: Well, how was I living before I started with you?

HARRY: Oh, my God.

ANNA: What is known as a bachelor’s life – Tom’s own nice inimitable version of it. He sat in his nice little flat, and round about ten at night, if he felt woman-crazy enough, he rang up one of three girls, all of whom were in love with him.

HARRY: Christ knows why.

ANNA: Imagine it, the telephone call at bedtime – are you free tonight, Elspeth, Penelope, Jessica? One of them came over, a drink or a cup of coffee, a couple of hours of bed, and then a radio-taxi home.

HARRY: Anna!

ANNA: Oh from time to time he explained to them that they mustn’t think his kind attentions to them meant anything.

HARRY: Anna, you’re a bore when you get like this.

TOM: Yes, you are.

ANNA: Then don’t call Mary names.

[MARY comes in. ]

MARY [ suspicious ]: You were talking about me?

ANNA: No, about me.

MARY: Oh I thought it was about me. [ to ANNA] There’s a girl wants to see you. She says it’s important. She wouldn’t give her name.

ANNA [ she is thinking ]: I see.

MARY: But she’s an American girl. It’s the wrong time of the year – summer’s for Americans.

ANNA: An American girl.

MARY: One of those nice bright neat clean American girls, how they do it, I don’t know, all I know is that you can tell from a hundred yards off they’d rather be seen dead than with their legs or their armpits unshaved, ever so antiseptic, she looked rather sweet really.

HARRY: Tell her to go away and we’ll all wait for you. Come on, Tom.

TOM: I’m staying.

HARRY: Come on, Mary, give me a nice cup of coffee.

MARY: It’s a long time since you and I had a good gossip.

[HARRY and MARY go out, arm in arm. ]

TOM: Well, who is she?

ANNA: I don’t know.

TOM: I don’t believe you.

ANNA: You never do.

[MARY’S voice, and the voice of an American girl, outside on the stairs. ]

[JANET STEVENS comes in. She is a neat attractive girl of about 22. She is desperately anxious and trying to hide it. ]

JANET: Are you Anna Freeman?

ANNA: Yes. And this is Tom Lattimer.

JANET: I am Janet Stevens. [ she has expected ANNA to know the name ] Janet Stevens.

ANNA: How do you do?

JANET: Janet Stevens from Philadelphia. [as ANNA still does not react ] I hope you will excuse me for calling on you like this.

ANNA: Not at all.

[JANET looks at TOM. ANNA looks at TOM. TOM goes to the window, turns his back. ]

JANET [ still disbelieving ANNA]: I thought you would know my name.

ANNA: No.

TOM: But she has been expecting you all afternoon.

JANET [ at sea ]: All afternoon?

ANNA [ angry ]: No, it’s not true.

JANET: I don’t understand, you were expecting me this afternoon?

ANNA: No. But may I ask, how you know me?

JANET: Well, we have a friend in common. Dave Miller.

TOM [ turning, furious ]: You could have said so, couldn’t you, Anna?

ANNA: But I didn’t know.

TOM: You didn’t know. Well I’m going. You’ve behaved disgracefully.

ANNA: Very likely. However just regard me as an unfortunate lapse from the straight and narrow on your journey to respectability.

[TOM goes out, slamming the door. ]

ANNA [ politely ]: That was my – fiancé.

JANET: Oh, Dave didn’t say you were engaged.

ANNA: He didn’t know. And besides, I’m not ‘engaged’ any longer.

[ A silence. ANNA looks with enquiry at JANET, who tries to speak and fails. ]

ANNA: Please sit down, Miss Stevens.

[JANET looks around for somewhere to sit, sits on a chair, smiles socially. Being a well brought up young lady, and in a situation she does not understand, she is using her good manners as a last-ditch defence against breaking down. ]

[ANNA looks at her, waiting. ]

JANET: It’s this way, you see Dave and I … [ At ANNA’S ironical look she stops. ] … What a pretty room, I do so love these old English houses, they have such …

[ANNA looks at her: do get a move on. ]

JANET: My father gave me a vacation in Europe for passing my college examinations. Yes, even when I was a little girl he used to promise me – if you do well at college I’ll give you a vacation in Europe. Well, I’ve seen France and Italy now, but I really feel most at home in England than anywhere. I do love England. Of course our family was English, way back of course, and I feel that roots are important, don’t you?

ANNA: Miss Stevens, what did you come to see me for?

JANET: Dave always says he thinks women should have careers. I suppose that’s why he admires you so much. Though of course, you do wear well. But I say to him, Dave, if you work at marriage then it is a career … sometimes he makes fun because I took domestic science and home care and child care as my subjects in college, but I say to him, Dave marriage is important, Dave, I believe that marriage and the family are the most rewarding career a woman can have, that’s why I took home care as my first subject because I believe a healthy and well-adjusted marriage is the basis for a healthy nation.

ANNA: You’re making me feel deficient in patriotism.

JANET: Oh, Dave said that too … [ she almost breaks down, pulls herself together: fiercely ] You’re patronizing me. I don’t think you should patronize me.