Doris Lessing - Play With a Tiger and Other Plays

DAVE: Jesus, Anna.

ANNA [ mocking ]: Oh, quite so.

DAVE: You still love me, that’s something.

ANNA: It’s lurve, it’s lurve, it’s lurve.

DAVE: Yes. I had a friend once. He cheated on his wife, he came in and she laid his cheek open with the flat-iron.

ANNA [ quoting him ]: ‘That I can understand’ – a great country, America.

DAVE [in appeal ]: Anna.

ANNA: No.

DAVE: I’ve been so lonely for you.

ANNA: Where have you been the last week?

DAVE [ suspicious ]: Why the last week?

ANNA: I’m interested.

DAVE: Why the last week? [ a pause ] Ringing you and getting no reply.

ANNA: Why ringing me?

DAVE: Who else? Anna, I will not be treated like this.

ANNA: Then, go away.

DAVE: We’ve been through this before. Can’t we get it over quickly?

ANNA: No.

DAVE: Come and sit down. And turn out the lights.

ANNA: No.

DAVE: I didn’t know it was as bad as that this time.

ANNA: How long did you think you could go on – you think you can make havoc as you like, and nothing to pay for it, ever?

DAVE: Pay? What for? You’ve got it all wrong, as usual.

ANNA: I’m not discussing it then.

DAVE: ‘I’m not discussing it.’ Well, I’m saying nothing to you while you’ve got your bloody middle-class English act on, it drives me mad.

ANNA: Middle-class English. I’m Australian.

DAVE: You’ve assimilated so well.

ANNA [ in an Australian accent ]: I’ll say it like this then – I’ll say it any way you like – I’m not discussing it. I’m discussing nothing with you when you’re in your role of tuppence a dozen street corner Romeo. [ in English ] It’s the same in any accent.

DAVE [ getting up and doing his blithe dance step ]: It’s the same in any accent. [ sitting down again ] Baby, you’ve got it wrong. [ANNA laughs. ] I tell you, you’ve got it wrong, baby. ANNA [ in American ]: But baby, it doesn’t mean anything, let’s have a little fun together, baby, just you and me – just a little fun, baby … [ in Australian ] Ah, damn your guts, you stupid, irresponsible little … [in English ] Baby, baby, baby – the anonymous baby. Every woman is baby, for fear you’d whisper the wrong name into the wrong ear in the dark.

DAVE: In the dark with you I use your name, Anna.

ANNA: You used my name.

DAVE: Ah, hell, man, well. Anna beat me up and be done with it and get it over. [ a pause ] OK, I know it. I don’t know what gets into me; OK I’m still a twelve-year-old slum kid standing on a street corner in Chicago, watching the expensive broads go by and wishing I had the dough to buy them all. OK, I know it. You know it. [ a pause ] OK and I’m an American God help me, and it’s no secret to the world that there’s bad man-woman trouble in America. [ a pause ] And everywhere else, if it comes to that. OK, I do my best. But how any man can be faithful to one woman beats me. OK, so one day I’ll grow up. Maybe.

ANNA: Maybe.

DAVE [ switching to black aggression ]: God, how I hate your smug female guts. All of you – there’s never anything free – everything to be paid for. Every time, an account rendered. Every time, when you’re swinging free there’s a moment when the check lies on the table – pay up, pay up, baby.

ANNA: Have you come here to get on to one of your anti-woman kicks?

DAVE: Well I’m not being any woman’s pet, and that’s what you all want. [ leaping up and doing his mocking dance step ] I’ve kept out of all the traps so far, and I’m going to keep out.

ANNA: So you’ve kept out of all the traps.

DAVE: That’s right. And I’m not going to stand for you either – mother of the world, the great womb, the eternal conscience. I like women, but I’m going to like them my way and not according to the rules laid down by the incorporated mothers of the universe.

ANNA: Stop it, stop it, stop boasting.

DAVE: But Anna, you’re as bad. There’s always a moment when you become a sort of flaming sword of retribution.

ANNA: At which moment – have you asked yourself? You and I are so close we know everything about each other – and then suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, you start telling me lies like – lies out of a corner-boy’s jest book. I can’t stand it.

DAVE [ shouting at her ]: Lies – I never tell you lies.

ANNA: Oh hell, Dave.

DAVE: Well you’re not going to be my conscience. I will not let you be my conscience.

ANNA: Amen and hear hear. But why do you make me your conscience?

DAVE [ deflating ]: I don’t know. [ with grim humour ] I’m an American. I’m in thrall to the great mother.

ANNA: Well I’m not an American.

DAVE [ shouting ]: No, but you’re a woman, and at bottom you’re the same as the whole lousy lot of…

ANNA: Get out of here then. Get out.

DAVE [ he sits cross-legged, on the edge of the carpet, his head in his hands ]: Jesus.

ANNA: You’re feeling guilty so you beat me up. I won’t let you.

DAVE: Come here.

[ANNA goes to him, kneels opposite him, lays her two hands on his diaphragm. ]

Yes, like that. [ he suddenly relaxes, head back, eyes closed ] Anna, when I’m away from you I’m cut off from something – I don’t know what it is. When you put your hands on me, I begin to breathe.

ANNA: Oh. [ She lets her hands drop and stands up. ]

DAVE: Where are you going?

[ANNA goes back to the window. A silence. A wolf-whistle from the street. Another. ]

ANNA: He’s broken his silence. He’s calling her. Deep calls to deep.

[ Another whistle. ANNA winces. ]

DAVE: You’ve missed me?

ANNA: All the time.

DAVE: What have you been doing?

ANNA: Working a little.

DAVE: What else?

ANNA: I said I’d marry Tom, then I said I wouldn’t.

DAVE [ dismissing it ]: I should think not.

ANNA [ furious ]: O-h-h-h.

DAVE: Seriously, what?

ANNA: I’ve been coping with Mary – her son’s marrying.

DAVE [ heartily ]: Good for him. Well, it’s about time.

ANNA: Oh quite so.

DAVE [ mimicking her ]: Oh quite so.

ANNA [ dead angry ]: I’ve also spent hours of every day with Helen, Harry’s ever-loving wife.

DAVE: Harry’s my favourite person in London.

ANNA: And you are his. Strange, isn’t it?

DAVE: We understand each other.

ANNA: And Helen and I understand each other.

DAVE [ hastily ]: Now, Anna.

ANNA: Helen’s cracking up. Do you know what Harry did? He came to her, because he knew this girl of his was thinking of getting married, and he said: Helen, you know I love you, but I can’t live without her. He suggested they should all live together in the same house – he, Helen and his girl. Regularizing things, he called it.

DAVE [ deliberately provocative ]: Yeah? Sounds very attractive to me.

ANNA: Yes, I thought it might. Helen said to him – who’s going to share your bed? Harry said, well, obviously they couldn’t all sleep in the same bed, but…

DAVE: Anna, stop it.

ANNA: Helen said it was just possible that the children might be upset by the arrangement.

DAVE: I was waiting for that – the trump card – you can’t do that, it might upset the kiddies. Well not for me, I’m out.

ANNA [ laughing ]: Oh are you?

DAVE: Yes. [ANNA laughs. ] Have you finished?

ANNA: No. Harry and Helen. Helen said she was going to leave him. Harry said: ‘But darling, you’re too old to get another man now and …’