Matt Beaumont - e - A Novel

Ave Maria

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Title Page e Matt Beaumont

Dedication Dedication Dedication Monday 3 January 2000 Tuesday 4 January 2000 Wednesday 5 January 2000 Thursday 6 January 2000 Friday 7 January 2000 Sunday 9 January 2000 Monday 10 January 2000 Tuesday 11 January 2000 Wednesday 12 January 2000 Thursday 13 January 2000 Friday 14 January 2000 Saturday 15 January 2000 Sunday 16 January 2000 Monday 17 January 2000 Tuesday 18 January 2000 Monday 7 February 2000 Read on: Staying Alive About the Author Also by the Author Copyright About the Publisher Ave Maria

Monday 3 January 2000 Monday 3 January 2000

Tuesday 4 January 2000

Wednesday 5 January 2000

Thursday 6 January 2000

Friday 7 January 2000

Sunday 9 January 2000

Monday 10 January 2000

Tuesday 11 January 2000

Wednesday 12 January 2000

Thursday 13 January 2000

Friday 14 January 2000

Saturday 15 January 2000

Sunday 16 January 2000

Monday 17 January 2000

Tuesday 18 January 2000

Monday 7 February 2000

Read on: Staying Alive

About the Author

Also by the Author

Copyright

About the Publisher

Monday 3 January 2000 Monday 3 January 2000 Monday 3 January 2000 Tuesday 4 January 2000 Wednesday 5 January 2000 Thursday 6 January 2000 Friday 7 January 2000 Sunday 9 January 2000 Monday 10 January 2000 Tuesday 11 January 2000 Wednesday 12 January 2000 Thursday 13 January 2000 Friday 14 January 2000 Saturday 15 January 2000 Sunday 16 January 2000 Monday 17 January 2000 Tuesday 18 January 2000 Monday 7 February 2000 Read on: Staying Alive About the Author Also by the Author Copyright About the Publisher

to… Fiona Craigie

cc…

re… your butt

Take that fucking Walkman off, get your arse in here and show me how I do an all-staff e-mail. Every time I click ‘ok’ on the address it copies it to Miller Shanks Helsinki.

to… All Departments

cc… james_f_weissmuller@millershanks-ny.co.usa

re… NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS

First, a happy new Millennium to each and every one of you. Thank you also for sacrificing your bank holidays today to come in and begin the bid for the Coca-Cola business. As you know, in two weeks we pitch for this most prestigious advertising account. To win it we must all perform out of our skins.

Daunting as it may seem, I know we can scale this peak. Those in doubt should take a look at what we have achieved in the last twelve months. When I joined you at the beginning of ’99 we were in the doldrums and Jim Weissmuller in New York gave me a mountain to climb.

He said ‘make Miller Shanks London big again’. Pitch wins for Freedom Catalogues, the LOVE Channel and the £11m Mako Cars account have catapulted us back into the Campaign top twenty for the first time in eight years.

He said ‘make Miller Shanks respected’. In the Marketing Week survey that asked clients which advertising agency they would most like to work with, we rocketed from 45 thto 33 rd.

He said ‘win awards’. I brought in Simon Horne to shake up the creative department and to do just that. His efforts are already paying off, with Pinki and Liam’s fabulous ads for Kimbelle Sanpro scooping bronze at Creative Circle.

We can all be extremely proud of our efforts. We are still a long way from the summit, but base camp has been established and the final assault beckons!

Let’s break camp, attach our lines and get off to a flier in 2000 by adding an $84 billion brand to our client list.

Go, go, go!

David Crutton

CEO

to… david_crutton@millershanks-london.co.uk

cc…

re… NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS

Your e-mail I think is coming to me in Helsinki by mistake, but it’s notwithstanding fun to be reading about my chums in London. I was not realising that mountaineering was possible in Old London Town. Most fascinating!

By the way, is there any help we give you with the Coca-Cola pitch? It is a very popular drink here in icy cold Finland, especially with our many ‘groovy’ young folk. As fellow CEO, I am asking my red-hot creativity department to have lots of brilliant ideas for you.

While I am on cyberspacenet, can please you get me tickets for Great Balls of Grease? Mrs van Helden and my good self will be visiting in London at 12 February. We will be packing our crampons.

Your pal, Pertti

to… Fiona Craigie

cc…

re… your fat butt

Get your fucking nose out of Ms London and explain why, despite your best efforts, my last e-mail went to that pathetic twat, van Helden. And get me two tickets for Great Balls of Fire or Grease on 12 Feb. I don’t think the gobshite Finn knows the difference.

to… All Departments

cc…

re… a new face

I would like you all to join me in welcoming Katie Philpott, who joins us today as a trainee account executive. Katie will be working in Harriet Greenbaum’s group on Mako. She will add her spark and vivacity to an already lively team. Please give her the warmest of Miller Shanks welcomes.

Daniel Westbrooke

Head of Client Services

to… All Departments

cc…

re… changes

Sadly, Fiona Craigie has decided to leave us and is no longer David Crutton’s PA. I am sure you will join me in wishing her well for the future. Lorraine Pallister will be temping until a permanent replacement arrives. Please make her welcome.

Rachel Stevenson

Personnel

to… Creative Department

cc… David Crutton; Daniel Westbrooke

re… arses in gear

You will need no reminding of the Coke pitch. This is the big one.

Excalibur.

The Holy Grail.

Eldorado.

The Most Famous Brand in the World.

David Crutton and Dan Westbrooke will brief us at noon in the boardroom.

Be keen.

Be sharp.

Be clever.

Above all, be there.

Si