David Baddiel - The Person Controller

There was a pause.

“What?” said Morris.

“I thought you might say this bit,” said Isla.

Morris frowned. “What bit?”

“The bit about which games he’s rubbish at …? Like, give some examples?”

Morris looked blank.

“Oh, come on, Morris!” said Isla. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to always drive the bullying? To have to come up with all the clever things to say to humiliate other children? Frankly, I’m starting to think you’re just a passenger in what we’re doing here.”

Morris frowned again. Then he frowned some more. Finally, his face cleared. “Football!” he said, clicking his fingers.

“Yes! Well done , Morris! Yeah! What are you worse at, Fred – FIFA or football? You could hardly be worse at FIFA – because I’ve never seen anyone so bad at football!”

“Yeah, so bad at football!” said Morris.

“Oh, shut up!” said Ellie, getting up to face the bullies.

“Yeah, shut up!” said Fred, getting up and facing them too. He had had enough.

Because football meant a lot to Fred. He wanted more than anything to be in the Bracket Wood First XI. He wanted to be in the Bracket Wood First XI and score the winning goal in the final of the Bracket Wood and Surrounding Area Inter-school Winter Trophy. Ever since he was old enough, he had gone to the school trials for the team. And every year he hadn’t got in. Every year something had gone wrong.

Let’s just take a moment out from the main story to look at the last time Fred went to one of the trials for the school football team.

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