Shanna Germain - Leather Bound

‘I didn’t. I came here.’

‘Oy vey,’ she said. Lily’s Jewish upbringing comes out at the oddest times, considering that most of the time she’s the least Jewish person I’ve ever met. But this time I had to agree with her.

‘Yeah,’ I said.

We sat in silence for a moment. I refused to look at her legs. Or at her face. Or at the half-curve of a smile that I was sure was resting at the corner of her red-painted lips.

‘Did we have any other customers?’ I asked. While I was in here – what had she said? – puddling like warm chocolate.

Lily snorted softly. ‘It was someone actually looking for the sex toy store. Can you believe it?’

‘Today?’ I said. ‘Today, I can believe almost anything.’

* * *

Thankfully, we were busy the rest of the day. But even with customers and orders to keep my mind occupied, I felt antsy and restless.

Kyle. Marriage. Davian. Lust. A sex club. Mysterious non-existent books. All of these unanswered mysteries were eating at my brain.

All day, my fingers beat an odd rhythm across book covers when I checked people out. I found myself shifting from one foot to the other for no reason.

An hour or so before closing time, I actually snapped my gum so loudly I startled myself. Thankfully the store was empty of customers at that point, but it was the last straw; I’d broken myself of gum snapping when I was nineteen. I had to find something to do before I made myself crazy.

I came storming out from one of the aisles where I’d been trying to organise books. Lil was behind the counter, drawing something. It’s what she did when she got bored. Mostly she drew her own tattoos. Sometimes tats for other people. Sometimes she drew Webster stalking dust motes or secret caricatures of our regular customers.

I keep telling her she could make a good career of it, but she keeps telling me that she has a good career. Which, of course, is exactly what I want to hear. She’s smart like that.

‘Why don’t you knock off early?’ Lily asked, watching with a raised brow as I tried to throw my gum into the garbage while it was still stuck to my fingers.

‘Because, because, because …’ Of all the wonderful things he does, my mind finished, stupidly. A string of quiet swear words followed while I finally managed to get the gum into the garbage can.

‘Go take care of –’ she waved her drawing pencil through the air, not being dismissive, but generally telling me she understood there was far too much going on for it to be summed up in a few short sentences ‘– things.’

‘I’m OK,’ I said. ‘I just need something to do. Maybe I’ll change the window display.’

‘We just did the display,’ she said. It was true. Our front window was big enough to set up a whole scene in. It was one of the things I loved best about the place. We changed the decor for each new season, and we’d just done the fall version of a reading room, adding a couple of chairs, a fake fireplace and a big maroon cushion for Webster to curl up on.

No display then.

‘Maybe Webster needs his nails trimmed,’ I ventured.

We both glanced at Webster, who’d forsaken his big cushion for one of the chairs, where he snoozed, stretched out, his belly to the sky. Clearly, he didn’t need my help either.

‘Go do something,’ Lily said. ‘I’ve got nothing, and I mean nothing, going on outside this place right now. Besides, I like to have you in my debt.’

‘But –’ I started.

And then I stood there, uncertain what else I wanted to say.

The truth was I didn’t want to be here, because I kept thinking about Davian with an urgency that scared me. Every time his face flashed in my brain, I got wet. Every time I saw his hands touching his briefcase, or my desk, or the tickets, my lizard brain, the part of me that was all sex all the time, woke up, aching for something I couldn’t name.

I didn’t want to go home because I’d think about Kyle. Kyle, and his proposal. And then I’d have to think about what was wrong with me that I didn’t just say yes to this smart, funny, gorgeous, talented guy who wanted to spend his life with me. Wasn’t that what every girl dreamed of?

I definitely didn’t want to go to Kyle’s, because I wouldn’t just think about Kyle there; I’d actually have to talk to him. And probably come up with some answers that I didn’t want to give.

The only other places I ever went – did I mention I was an introvert? – were Cream, the coffee shop that our friend Stefan owned, and Cock’s Tail, the bar that our friend Jay owned. Both of those places offered comfort, but they also meant someone who cared about me offering sympathy and a listening ear. If I knew anything right now, I knew that I didn’t feel like talking.

I felt like hiding out in a dark room where no one could see me, and letting all of this go for a little while. Somewhere that I could hide in the dark and think and make some of this stupid sexual desire disappear. Somewhere that I could –

Suddenly, I knew just what I needed. And I knew just the place to get it. Dark. Quiet but not too quiet. Solitary but not too solitary. I grabbed my coat and practically ran to the front desk, where Lily was still hunched over her sketchpad, chewing on an eraser shaped like a robot. A mostly headless robot.

‘Hey, Lil, did you mean it when you talked about closing up?’

‘Nope,’ she said. ‘I changed my mind. You must stay here for ever and ever.’

She must have seen something in my face because she started laughing almost instantly and flapped her hands at me, headless robot included. ‘Go, please. I love you, but you’re starting to make me crazy.’

I leaned across the counter to kiss her cheek, and as I did so, I saw what she’d been sketching.

It was Davian’s face. Almost. Just a little off, although I couldn’t tell how. I tried to puzzle out what it was. The eyes, slightly off-kilter? No. Not the mouth either. Something else. But it was definitely him.

‘Guess I’m not the only one with the hots,’ I teased, tapping the edge of the drawing with my finger.

‘No,’ she said. Her tongue stud flashed silver between her teeth. ‘It’s just that I do remember him from somewhere. But not here, I don’t think. I don’t know.’

‘Well, if you do think of it, let me know, ’kay? And I’ll open tomorrow. On time, I promise it!’

‘Mm-hm’ was her only response as I slipped out the door.

* * *

Leather Bound is in a part of town that most people, locals and tourists alike, just call the Sweet Spot. It’s this little area – two streets, maybe six or seven blocks long, of mixed business and residential – that’s known for being a bit risqué. It’s not a gay district per se, just a sexy district.

Most of the smart businesses play up the theme, giving themselves double-entendre names, like ours. And it works. It’s safely naughty. So if you want to bring your best friend somewhere for her bachelorette party, you’ll probably head here. Maybe stop by Cream for a cup of coffee, then head to Lashes & Lace for toys, then on to Cock’s Tail or one of the other half-dozen nightclubs that offer a naughty ambiance.

I asked around before we opened Leather Bound here, but no one seemed to know why this area is here, or where it came from.

It’s a good place for Leather Bound. Although we’re not specifically focused on sex books, we definitely do our fair share of sales in that direction. Plus, the rent is cheaper than anywhere else, we get more walk-in sales and it’s easy to get to almost anywhere from the store.

Like to Lashes & Lace, which was just around the corner a couple of blocks and down the street. I practically ran there. Now that I had a mission, I had someplace to put all my nervous energy.