Karen Sullivan - You Want to Do What? - Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas

Tel: 0845 310 1334

www.fpa.org.uk

Brook

Information, advice and guidance for young people under twenty-five on sex, relationships and contraception.

Tel: 0800 018 5023

www.brook.org.uk

Youth Access

A national network of youth advice, information, support and counselling agencies.

www.youthaccess.org.uk

British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS)

Offers information and counselling for those considering abortion. It provides abortions for NHS and private patients.

Tel: 08457 304030

www.bpas.org

Education For Choice

Information about pregnancy and abortion.

www.educationforchoice.blogspot.co.uk

My son’s girlfriend is pregnant and she wants a termination. What are his rights?

Your son does not have a legal right to decide whether or not his girlfriend should continue with or end her pregnancy. She is also under no obligation to tell him that she is pregnant, nor that she has had or is planning to have a termination. This can be very distressing for many young men, who may have strong ideas about the pregnancy and what is morally right. The organisations listed above can also help him to accept her decision, and to get support if required.

Alcohol

When can my son drink alcohol legally?

In the UK, the legal drinking age is eighteen. This means your son can purchase and drink alcohol without an ‘adult’ being present. If he’s sixteen, he can have beer, cider or wine in a restaurant or a pub with an area set aside for meals, as long as the alcohol is served with food and he is accompanied by an adult. The rules are different for consuming alcohol on private premises, in other words, your home ( see page ).

What happens in Europe?

European countries typically have a legal drinking ages of sixteen or eighteen. For example, in the Netherlands, Germany, Switzerland and Austria, you have to be sixteen to buy beer or wine and eighteen to buy distilled alcoholic beverages (spirits).

What happens in the US?

In the US, the legal age for purchase or possession (but not necessarily consumption) in every state has been twenty-one since the passage of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act in 1984. Many states specifically allow consumption under the age of twenty-one for religious or health reasons or with parental approval. In Canada, the legal drinking age is eighteen in the provinces of Alberta, Manitoba and Quebec, and nineteen elsewhere.

At what age is it safe for children to drink small amounts of alcohol (at a celebration, for example)?

In the UK, serving a child alcohol in your own home is legally allowed from age five, but not recommended for health reasons. For one thing, even a small quantity of alcohol impairs judgement, and very little is required to become ‘drunk’ at such a tender age. Moreover, many doctors recommend that children under eighteen should not drink alcohol at all, because their bodies are still developing – in particular, the liver, which breaks down alcohol, is not fully developed until the age of about twenty-one. This is also the age at which the hypothalamus, the part of the brain most affected by alcohol, matures. Drinking before this age increases the risk of addiction; in fact, studies show that countries that allow youth drinking have a much higher incidence of adult alcoholism.

Having said that, a thimbleful of wine or champagne at a family celebration is unlikely to do any long-term damage. It’s worth noting, too, that parents who adopt an open policy about alcohol use, and take the time to educate their kids about the potential dangers while offering supervision, are less likely to have children who drink subversively – and over drink! After all, a child is less likely to get ‘drunk’ while a parent is around and if alcohol is not regarded as a forbidden fruit, it’s less likely to tempt kids, particularly in periods of rebellion.

What are the recommended safe levels of consumption?

It is certainly worth bearing in mind the recommended safe levels of alcohol consumption for adults and be even more cautious where your children are concerned.

Experts advise that men drink no more than 21 units of alcohol per week and no more than four units in any one day. Women should drink no more than 14 units of alcohol per week and no more than three units in any one day. One unit of alcohol is equivalent to a small 25 ml measure of spirits, 125 ml glass of wine or half a pint of ordinary strength beer.

When can you take a child into the pub?

You can take your child to the pub from any age, but he must be supervised by someone over the age of eighteen. He will not be able to enter the ‘bar’ of a pub, unless it has a children’s certificate, and if it does have a certificate, he can only go into parts of licenced premises where alcohol is either sold but not drunk (for example, a sales point for consumption away from the pub), or drunk but not sold (for example, a garden or family room).

Between the ages of fourteen and fifteen, your child can go anywhere in a pub, as long as he is supervised by an adult, but he may not drink alcohol. After the age of sixteen your child can buy or be bought beer, wine or cider to drink with a meal, if he’s with an adult. Otherwise, it is against the law for anyone under eighteen to buy or drink alcohol in a pub.

Children cannot go to the pub alone until they are sixteen.

When can my child have a glass of wine with dinner?

Theoretically, you can serve a small amount of wine with dinner from the age of five, but for obvious reasons this is not ideal!

Having said that, many children begin to experiment with alcohol outside the home between the ages of ten and fourteen, and a 2006 survey found that nine out of ten teenagers drank alcohol by the age of fifteen. The average age for drinking a whole ‘drink’ is twelve and a half.

One survey, published by the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University, suggests that parents should teach their children to be sensible with alcohol by letting them have a glass of wine over dinner – from pre- to early teens. Researchers claim that teenagers who buy their own alcohol are more likely to be binge drinkers.

Professor Mark Bellis, who led the study, feels that parents should adopt a ‘Mediterranean approach’, where youngsters drink in moderation. He says sensible drinking is a ‘life skill’ and that ‘the ability to drink alcohol sensibly is not a gift people are born with but one that must be learnt’, confirming that ‘a Mediterranean approach to alcohol consumption, with food and with restraint, is unlikely to ever develop in the UK unless parents demonstrate such behaviours and help develop them in their children.’

My son wants alcohol served at his birthday party, because all his friends apparently serve drinks at their parties. He’s only sixteen. Is he old enough?

Drinking in a private home is acceptable from the age of five; indeed, it is legal for anyone over the age of five to drink alcohol. The age restrictions apply to purchasing (under eighteen years old) and location – on licensed premises or in alcohol-exclusion zones. So, theoretically, yes, you can legally serve alcohol at your son’s party.

There are, however, other factors to consider. The first is that you have a duty of care to children in your home – and if there is a problem with overdrinking or an accident caused by drinking, you may be held liable. What’s more, other parents may not actually have the same approach to teen drinking as you do, and will object to having their child served alcohol under the age of eighteen or outside their home.

If you feel comfortable with a small amount of alcohol being served, and the parents of his friends are in agreement, consider the following tips: