Karen Sullivan - You Want to Do What? - Instant answers to your parenting dilemmas

Can buy alcohol and drink in a bar.

Can join the armed forces without parental consent.

Can own land, buy a home, hold a tenancy or apply for a mortgage.

Are entitled to receive the minimum wage for 18-year-olds.

Can see a category 18 film at the cinema or rent or buy one.

Can join the Fire Service.

Can buy fireworks.

Can enter or work in a betting shop.

Can apply to change sex.

Can leave home without parental consent.

Can get married without parental consent.

Can join the police.

Can vote in general and local elections.

Can be tattooed.

Can apply for a passport without parental consent.

Age twenty-one

Can adopt a child.

Can become an MP, local councillor or mayor.

Abortion

Can my daughter have a termination without my consent?

In the UK (although not in Northern Ireland) any girl can have a termination without telling her parents, as long as two doctors agree that she fully understands what is involved and that it is in her best interests. In a nutshell, doctors must agree that an abortion would cause less damage to a girl’s physical or mental health than continuing with the pregnancy. Most doctors feel that the distress of having to continue with an unwanted pregnancy is likely to be harmful to health.

All information, advice and services are confidential; however, if the doctors believe that she is at risk of harm in any way (as a result of sexual or emotional abuse, for example), they are obliged to involve social services – but not, interestingly, the girl’s parents. This applies until a girl reaches adulthood in the eyes of the law, which is currently eighteen years of age.

The implications of the government’s guidance in England mean that doctors and health practitioners are likely to be more concerned about young people under the age of thirteen who are having sex; these professionals may think it would be in the young person’s best interests to have some extra help from a social worker. In Northern Ireland this applies to young people under the age of fourteen. However, despite the fact that sex under the age of sixteen is illegal, girls can still have an abortion under this age without parental consent, and in full confidence.

Is abortion legal in Northern Ireland?

Abortion is legal in Northern Ireland in exceptional circumstances, but current guidance is unclear and many women in Northern Ireland find it difficult to obtain an abortion unless they travel to England.

Will her GP let me know if my daughter has a termination?

Your daughter has a right to full confidentiality. Even her GP may not be notified if she expresses a wish that the GP is not informed. You may, in fact, be the last person to know.

Most doctors do encourage young girls to discuss the matter with their parents – if only because the girl concerned needs to make an informed choice and may not realise that there are options within a supportive family unit. However, no one can force your daughter to tell you anything.

The most important thing any parent can do is to keep open the channels of communication with their daughters, to ensure that any problems can be successfully aired, without recrimination or blame. Your daughter will not involve you in situations where she thinks that she may be punished, or lose your love and acceptance. Termination is a traumatic, distressing intervention for many girls, and without support, their emotional health can be dramatically affected. What’s more, there is a medical risk to abortion procedures, and girls need to have follow-up treatment and may also require a course of antibiotics. This will need to be supervised, particularly in younger girls.

Is the situation the same in the US?

Only two states – Connecticut and Maine – and the District of Columbia have laws that allow girls under the age of eighteen to obtain an abortion on her own. In contrast, 31 states have laws that require the involvement of at least one parent in their daughter’s abortion decision; in 16 of these states, a minor must have the consent of one or both parents, and in the other 15 states, one or both parents must be notified prior to the abortion.

Almost all provide a confidential alternative to parental involvement in the form of a judicial bypass, in which a minor may obtain authorisation for an abortion from a judge without informing her parents.

Because terminating an unplanned pregnancy can have a significant long-term impact on a woman’s psychological and emotional well-being, US legislators believe that parental guidance is especially important. Strangely, however, more than half of the states that require parental involvement for abortion permit a pregnant minor to make the decision to continue her pregnancy and to consent to antenatal care and delivery without consulting a parent. In addition, states appear to consider a minor who is a parent to be fully competent to make major decisions affecting the health and future of his or her child, even though many of these same states require an under-age girl to involve her parents if she decides to terminate her pregnancy!

How old does a girl need to be to have a termination?

In England, Wales and Scotland a woman of any age can have an abortion (termination). In Jersey, abortion is only legal up to twelve weeks. She has no legal obligation to consult with her family or even the father of the unborn baby.

What is the situation in Europe?

In many European countries, girls must be sixteen years old to have an abortion. What’s more, the gestational age limit (the ‘age’ of the pregnancy) is twelve weeks, meaning that anyone under the age of sixteen and over twelve weeks’ pregnant will not be granted access to the procedure. Almost all countries in the EU require parental consent and a doctor’s approval.