George Martin - Starport

HAH!

SKREEEE!

HAHA

HAH!

SKREEEE!

I TOLD

YOU, LITTLE FILTH

MONKEY...

HISSSSS!

...TO

GET DOWN HERE!

HAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHA!

ARE YOU

ALL RIGHT,

MA’AM?

HE...

IT...

I SAW.

CAN I

HAVE MY

PURSE BACK

NOW?

THAT’S IT! I’LL SHOOT ITS WINGS OFF NEXT TIME, I SWEAR!

I WAS FOUR YEARS,

TWO MONTHS, AND FIVE

DAYS FROM MY PENSION WHEN

I MET MY FIRST ALIEN. REMEMBER,

BOBBI, WHEN THE MUNCHKINS LANDED

AND THEY ANNOUNCED HOW THEY’D

BEEN WATCHING US FOR NEARLY SIXTY

YEARS, WAITING? AND THE DELAYS

TRYING TO OPEN A STARPORT HERE?

WHAT WAS IT, FIVE YEARS OF

ANTICIPATION BEFORE THEY EVEN

SET FOOT ON AMERICAN SOIL?

ENDLESS CONGRESSIONAL MEETINGS,

TREATIES, AND RED TAPE OUT

THE ASS. THE TUNNEL COLLAPSE,

THE RIOTS IN NEW YORK.

ENDLESS.

POINT IS, THEY

TOOK SIX DECADES

TO COME KNOCKING ON

OUR DOOR, AND ONE MORE

BEFORE KNOCKING ON MINE,

SO DON’T YOU THINK THEY COULD

HAVE WAITED A BIT LONGER? MAYBE

LET ME GET ON WITH MY DAMNED

RETIREMENT BEFORE I BECAME

BEHOLDEN TO SOME PINK

FROG-FACED ASSHAT WHO

INSISTS ON BEING

ADDRESSED AS

"TOPMAN"?

AND WHY HERE,

KELLEHER? WHY ME?

WHY MY CITY?

DON’T WORRY,

CAPTAIN, YOU STILL

GET TO RETIRE. THE

TOPMAN HAS SENT A

SKIMMER. IT SHOULD

BE OUTSIDE RIGHT

NOW.

THAT’S ALL

I NEED. IF GOD HAD

MEANT CARS TO FLY, HE

WOULDN’T HAVE GIVEN

THEM WHEELS.

I SPENT MY

WHOLE LIFE ON

THE FORCE, BOBBI.

UNTIL THE STARPORT

OPENED, I FIGURED I’D

SEEN JUST ABOUT

EVERYTHING...

BUT...HE

LOOKS LIKE A

COCKROACH.

WHO?

THE SKRIT

TRADE ENVOY.

HE’S FIVE FEET THREE

INCHES TALL, ONLY HE’S

A COCKROACH. KAFKA

WOULD BE PROUD, BUT

IT CREEPS ME RIGHT

THE FUCK OUT.

WITH 314

OTHER SPECIES

IN THE HARMONY, IT

FIGURES THAT SOME OF

THEM MIGHT BE

INSECTS...

THE MAYOR

IS GOING TO GIVE

HIM A KEY TO THE CITY.

HE’LL PROBABLY SHAKE

HANDS WITH HIM. CAN

COCKROACHES SHAKE

HANDS?

DO

COCKROACHES

EVEN HAVE HANDS?

MAYOR DALEY

WOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN A COCKROACH THE KEY TO THE CITY!

WELL...

MAYBE IF IT WAS A

DEMOCRAT?

IF THERE’S

NO DRIVER, I’M NOT

GETTING IN.

C’MON,

CAPTAIN.

THE TOPMAN’S

EXPECTING

US.

WOULD YOU

ENJOY TO HEAR

LISTEN ATTEND TO

MUSIC TUNE

MELODY?

NO. NO,

WE’RE FINE.

POSSIBLY

PREFER TALK

CONVERSE

SHARE-VIEWS?

SHOULDN’T

YOU WATCH WHERE

YOU’RE FLYING?

BUT, OF

INTERESTING

ARE YOU...

NOT

NECESSARY VITAL

IMPORTANT, OF

FLIGHT ACHIEVEMENT

DESTINATION,

PARAMETERS

FUNCTION WORKING

TOP TIPS.

JUST

HUMOR US,

OKAY?

AHHHH!

HUMOR

FUNNY HA-HA.

HOKAY!

SPECIES 26,

91, AND 214

WALK INTO TAVERN

SALOON BAR.

SALOON

TENDER PROPRIETOR

SPEAKS REMARKS,

SAYING...

DID YOUR

SPORE FALL FROM

ITS BRANCH BEFORE

SUN’S ZENITH? YES!

ENJOYMENT!

THE POLICE

ARE HERE!

STEP ASIDE,

PLEASE. MOVE

ASIDE.

WHAT’S THE

PROBLEM?

WHAT THE

HELL TOOK YOU

SO LONG?

THE POLICE...

THANK YOU,

JESUS!

UH-OH.

ANGELS.

WORSE.

MAROON

CADRE.

DO YOU

CHAMPION THESE

THIEVES?

UH, YES.

WE DO. WHAT

SEEMS TO BE THE

PROBLEM?

SHE’S

CRAZY!

SHE PULLED

THAT LASER KNIFE

THINGY ON MY

HUSBAND, THEN

TRIED TO TAKE

OUR PHONE!

STILL YOUR

TONGUE, HUMAN...

OR DIE BESIDE

YOUR MATE!

YOU HEARD

HER. ARREST

THEM!

HOW

DARE

THEY?

EARTH

FIRST!

CAREFUL,

SHE’S GOT ONE

OF THEM SWORD-

STICKS!

SETTLE DOWN,

ROOKIE. NOW, DO

ME A FAVOR AND

HANDLE THE

CROWD.

WILL

EVERYBODY

JUST SHUT UP AND

CALM DOWN FOR

A MOMENT?

HI THERE,

SIR. I’M OFFICER

ERNIE MANNING. MAY

I SEE YOUR PHONE,

PLEASE?

VERY NICE.

WHERE YOU FOLKS

FROM?

I...IOWA.

WE’RE ON

VACATION...

AND HOW

CLOSE DID YOU

GET WHILE TAKING

PICTURES OF

THEM?

I...THEY’RE

SO TALL AND

COLORFUL! AND

WE’VE NEVER

SEEN...

ALIENS

BEFORE.

NO.

AH.

THERE

IT IS.

LOOKS LIKE YOU FOLKS

DIDN’T GET THROUGH YOUR

NEW-SPECIES-INTERACTION

PAMPHLET AT THE AIRPORT, HUH?

MISSED THE BIT ABOUT HOW

SERIOUSLY THESE GUYS

TAKE THEIR PERSONAL

SPACE?

DO YOU

MIND IF I ERASE

YOUR PHOTOS AND

TURN OFF YOUR

PHONE, SIR?

YES! YES, OF COURSE! WHATEVER YOU NEED, OFFICER.

THERE, I’VE

ERASED ALL

THE IMAGES. THEY

ARE TOTALLY

IRRETRIEVABLE.

IS HONOR

SATISFIED?

NO. THE

THEFT IS UNDONE,

YET THE INSULT

STILL STANDS.

TELL THE

NICE LADY

YOU’RE SORRY.

I DIDN’T...

THESE ARE

NHAR, SIR. ANGELS.

IF YOU HAD READ

YOUR PAMPHLET,

YOU’D KNOW THAT BY

STEPPING INTO HER

PATH AND TAKING THAT

UNFLATTERING PHOTO,

YOU’VE INADVERTENTLY

STOLEN HER SPACE

AND “BESMIRCHED”

HER IMAGE.

I DIDN’T

KNOW! I DIDN’T

MEAN TO...I’M SORRY!

SO SORRY. I’LL READ

THE PAMPHLET AT

THE HOTEL. I

PROMISE!

YOU HEARD

HIM. HE DIDN’T MEAN

ANYTHING. HE’S SORRY.

AND HE’S NOT EVEN

ARMED. LOOK

AT HIM!

THIS APOLOGY

IS A POOR THING,

AND YET I WILL

HEAR IT.

BUT,

SHOULD IT

HAPPEN

AGAIN...

NAH-TO!

TREASURE

THIS LESSON AS

A GIFT FROM DAHRYS

NHAR-KQL, ARYANNE OF

THE MAROON CADRE

OF THE CHILDREN OF

THE ENDLESS

NIGHT.

PAY THE

HUMAN FOR HIS PITIFUL

COMMUNICATION

DEVICE.

WHAT

WAS THAT ALL

ABOUT?

GET USED

TO IT, ROOKIE.

BEING A COP IN

CHICAGO ISN’T

WHAT IT USED

TO BE.

BUT...SIR, I DON’T

THINK THAT’S ENOUGH

TO COVER MY PHONE.

IT WAS BRAND-NEW,

AND ON A PAYMENT

PLAN...

SO WHO’S

GOING TO PAY

FOR THE

REST?

SEND THE

BILL TO THE TOPMAN,

CARE OF STARPORT

CHICAGO.

OK. WHICH ONE

OF YOU DOUCHEBAGS

KILLED DETECTIVE

BAKER AND STOLE

HIS GUN?

HERE!

I MEAN, I’M

BAKER. I DIDN’T

KILL ANYONE!

SO HOW COME YOU’RE

COVERED WITH

BLOOD?

HUH. THAT’S

WHAT THEY

ALL SAY.

IT’S

FRUIT

JUICE.

THEY RAN

A MAKE ON YOUR

GUN. IMAGINE THE

HORROR WHEN IT

TURNED OUT TO BE

ONE OF OURS...

YO, LIVINGSTONE,

BETTER UNLOCK MY

PARTNER, HERE. LET’S

SEE IF MAYBE I CAN

KEEP HIM OUT OF

TROUBLE.

MMMM-

HMMM.

HERE WE ARE,

SKIP, AT CHICAGO’S

FINEST, DISTRICT 19,

AKA THE ZOO, AKA

THE UNIVERSE’S

CRAP HOLE.

AND ON

THAT SUBJECT,

THERE’S THE

CRAPPER. DEEP,

I KNOW...

HEY,

RICHY!

IT’S SERGEANT

MONDRAGON,