Karen Aldous - One Moment At Sunrise

‘And how is your little helper, your research assistant?’

Unprepared for the snap question, Evie took in a breath. ‘Looking forward to a trip to the library, aren’t you Charlotte? She adores books.’

‘Classics, or a good thriller?’

Evie laughed. ‘Sit her with a pile of books and she’ll sit forever.’

‘Were you like that as a child?’

‘Totally. Books were my sanctuary. My sister excelled at maths which only amplified my inadequacies and sent me nose-diving into a book. What about you?’

Ben’s chin lowered to his chest. He tightened his lips, shaking his head. ‘I made every excuse not to read. I’m dyslexic and a slow reader. They thought I was lazy. Reading and writing was a miserable experience, until luckily a teacher recognised it and was able to suggest some strategies. My older sisters helped me greatly with those at home too, much to the disgust of my brother. I was getting all the attention, which built up resentment and it took him years to get over it. And it took me years to get over his tormenting. I had these weird glasses for a while and you can imagine how much mileage he got taking the piss out of me with those. But, I used to make up stories in my head and make storyboards, got used to visualising and etching out the stories I suppose, which evolved into using my dad’s video camera and making films. That was my way of dealing with my shortcomings.’

Evie felt touched that he could reveal so much of himself, an admiration surfaced in her. ‘I’ve heard dyslexics are very gifted and can be highly creative, particularly being able to see things in three dimension. That’s probably why you’re good with film.’

‘Apparently. It could just be that we’ve had to find another way but yes, I’ve heard we compensate in other ways. I tend not to dwell on it now. I still read and write slower than the average person, but there’s nothing wrong with my comprehension and I’ve probably landed a far more satisfying career than a lot of those guys who mocked me. Well, when I say landed, I’ve grafted and pushed myself through some gruelling, and at times uncomfortable, situations to make it happen – but I’ve focused on what works for me.’ He poured the remainder of the amber liquid down his throat.

Gazing at him with admiration, his words echoed through her: “focus on what works for me”. Those warm eyes glimmered at her.

‘I’m impressed. I wish I had your determination.’

‘Bringing up a child up takes a lot of determination, I imagine. I can’t wait to be a dad one day.’

‘Not all men think like you. My partner wasn’t happy about it. He was really against it when I told him I was pregnant.’ Evie thought of Seb’s reaction. Although, Ben did say “one day”, maybe his ambitions would prevent him too. Maybe he was more careful and took the right precautions with his conquests. He’d probably had lots of those too, like Seb. So alike yet so different. The thought occurred, both workaholics … yet Ben was much more grounded.

‘Oh?’

‘I was over the moon but when I told him, but it went down like the proverbial balloon. Worst time of my life. I was stupid to think he would be as pleased as me about it.’

‘It wasn’t planned then, I take it?’

‘No. We’d only been together about six weeks.’

‘I don’t suppose it was easy then if…’

‘We got on so well before,’ Evie bumbled, realising she had started something.

‘Ah I see. Yes. I’d want to make sure I was with the right person first,’ he said, appearing thoughtful.

‘I thought he was the right one and thought he felt the same…’ She clutched her throat, willing herself to shut up. She was blurting again and he was rubbing his head as though trying to decide if she was the village idiot or something. She glanced down at her coffee cup, then at Charlotte who was immersed in her book. Well, no matter what, she didn’t regret her decision to have Charlotte. She would never have been strong enough to face the alternative. That would have taken guts. Perhaps she had just been naïve in thinking Seb would have been pleased just because she was. Naïve in thinking they had a strong relationship too.

‘I hope I haven’t upset you,’ Ben said, invading her thoughts. ‘I’m not taking any sides here but in a situation like yours, isn’t it the case that you both have to do what is necessary and step up to the responsibility? Regardless of your feelings for one another.’

His lashes flickered down at her coffee cup. Of course she knew the answer – and she and Seb had both stepped up – but it left her with a question. Had they done what was right for them?

Rubbing his palms around his glass, he peered at her. ‘Again, you have to focus on what works for you.’ His lips curled into that comforting smile she found increasingly alluring. ‘I’d never have pushed myself without that philosophy. Like you, I’ve got one life and I plan to make the best of what I have.’

Evie remained quiet, scratching the back of her neck, those words resounding in her head again, “focus on what’s best for you”.

‘Anyway, I’m preventing you from this much sought-after research.’ Ben said easing out of his chair. ‘I’m afraid I have to go and wrap this up and move on, for now at least. We’re shooting up at the Malpas tunnel tomorrow.’

‘Oh, don’t let me stop you. Yes. I need to get on too,’ she said finishing her own drink.

Evie watched as Ben gave Charlotte’s cheek an affectionate stroke with his finger. He skirted the highchair and moved towards Evie, holding an arm out which she took to mean he was expecting her to stand to air-kiss goodbye. She got up obligingly, offering each cheek to his lips, rousing a rush of desire in her as she inhaled hues of spice. Feeling the blood race from her throat to her temples, she dropped her head to hide the embarrassment of her response, focusing her gaze on the empty glasses on the table until the shame vanished.

‘Oh, I’ll get the bill,’ she said reaching for her bag.

‘Absolutely not. These guys have been paid. We can’t expect them to lose money whilst we shoot. It’s been a joy to see you again. Hope the research goes well,’ he said with a wink as he marched away. She was like a plant that had been stuck in the shade, with brown crumbling foliage. But now she felt her leaves beginning to shoot upwards. She wondered if placed in the sunshine, she would allow herself to bloom.

Chapter 8

Seb would never understand but Evie had never imagined she could suddenly be so happily consumed. The books she collected from the library expanded her knowledge of the canal and its visionary, Riquet. Although she had yet to reveal anything about the peasant women, she was getting hungrier to succeed in finding information and to rise to Ben’s challenge. Ben showed great faith in her and had given her the chance to prove to herself that she may still have that head for journalism.

Already, from her little island, totalling almost three years of isolation, with only her own head for company, Evie felt her shores were spreading. Humans were now etching footsteps on her sands. Not only had her friendship with Suzanne blossomed this last year but her sister was on her way and Ben was in her life. And, Ben was inviting her to explore something. Something deeper, which she’d imagined had withered and died. That innate passion to enquire and write. It wasn’t just the opportunity to work at something she would find fulfilling, he was also making her think about the very direction her life was taking.

As she sat at the front terrace waiting for her sister, sheltering from the sun’s glare and basking in a fresh whirling breeze, Evie wondered if she had been deluded in thinking she was the right one for Seb. Ben was quite perceptive and his view would be from the male perspective, so what he’d intimated could be spot on. She found that disturbing, and not something she wanted to face. At least not now. After all, Seb wouldn’t go to such lengths if he didn’t feel something for her. No, she was going to force Seb’s negative influence from her mind today and focus instead on what was right for her. Hopefully, that included Cally. She checked her watch, which seemed to be moving extremely slowly, and grasped her stomach as it gurgled and churned inside. Today would be a test for them both but she hoped they could find some common ground.