George R.R. Martin: Starport

DETECTIVE STAMM,

NOT RICHY.

I SEE

THEY’VE GIVEN

YOU A NEW

PARTNER.

I’M SERGEANT

RICHARD MONDRAGON.

WELCOME TO THE

ZOO, SON.

AND MY

SYMPATHIES

ON YOUR

PARTNER.

HEY...

AND ANOTHER

BATHROOM...YOU

GETTING ALL

THIS?

SO,

JUST HOW

SEXY AM

I?

ABOUT

AS SEXY AS

SOMETHING I’D

FLUSH DOWN

THE TOILET.

I CAN’T

BELIEVE SHE’S

SENDING YOU

BACK IN.

YEAH, WELL,

SHE HAS TO. I

HAVEN’T LEARNED

ALL THE WORDS TO

“EARTHLAND UBER

ALLES” YET.

I WANT

YOU TO WEAR

A WIRE.

LOVE TO!

DARLING IDEA,

REALLY. SO KIND

OF YOU TO

SUGGEST IT.

THE THING IS,

THERE’S THIS HOT

LITTLE EARTHBLOOD

NUMBER WHO CAN’T

KEEP HER HANDS

OFF ME.

SO IMAGINE,

THERE WE ARE

PETTING IN THE BUNKER,

AND SHE SLIDES HER

HAND UNDER MY SHIRT,

AND...OH MY

GOODNESS...

SURPRISE!

IT’S. A.

WIRE!

ONLY YOU

WOULD HAVE THAT

KIND OF PROBLEM,

AARON.

YEAH,

WELL...

...I KNEW THE

JOB WAS DANGEROUS

WHEN I TOOK IT. DON’T

BE JEALOUS, RICHY.

IT LOOKS BAD

ON YOU.

HEY, NICE LOOK, MORELLO.

YOU UNDERCOVER AS A

COUCH POTATO, OR DID

YOU JUST FORGET

YOUR SHIRT?

I’VE HAD

THAT URGE MYSELF,

FROM TIME

TO TIME.

THAT’S “EAT

IT, DETECTIVE STAMM.”

THESE ARE

OUR NEIGHBORS,

OFFICERS JI-HUN PARK

AND LOUIS MORELLO,

UNDERCOVER CHICAGO

FASHION ICONS.

AN ALIEN...

UHH...HEH... THREWUP ON HIM.

EAT IT,

STAMM!

THAT’S MY

DESK BACK BY THE

STAIRS, AND THIS IS

YOU. MY LAST PARTNER

DIED IN THAT CHAIR.

MASSIVE CEREBRAL

HEMORRHAGE.

WENT

JUST LIKE

THAT.

HOW MANY

PARTNERS

HAVE YOU HAD,

ANYWAY?

YOU

CAN’T COUNT

THAT HIGH.

DAMN,

MORELLO, YOU

FORGET HOW

TO USE A

REMOTE?

SCREW YOU,

DETECTIVE

STAMM.

PARK, CAN

YOU HELP ME?

YOUR PEOPLE

MADE THIS DAMN

THING...

MY PEOPLE

ARE KOREAN.

THAT “DAMN THING” IS JAPANESE, AND– REGARDLESS OF ITS ORIGIN–NOT MY PROBLEM.

HERE,

LET ME

TRY.

LET’S SEE.

YOU JUST NEED

TO GET INTO THE

MENU–THERE IT

IS–AND...

THAT

SHOULD

DO IT!

GOOD

LORD...

WHASSAMATTER,

MORELLO, WERE THEY

ALL OUT OF DEBBIEDOES STARPORT?

FOR YOUR

INFORMATION,

I’M DOING SOME

RESEARCH.

MAYBE I

CAN HELP. I’M

SOMEWHAT OF

AN AMATEUR

XENOLOGIST...

UHHHHH...

IT MEANS

I’VE READ JUST

ABOUT EVERYTHING

I CAN GET MY HANDS

ON CONCERNING

THE ALIENS.

CAN YOU

DESCRIBE HIM

FOR ME?

WE’RE TRYING

TO GET A MAKE ON

AN ALIEN PURSE

SNATCHER.

YEAH. SHORT–

SMALLER THAN A

MUNCHKIN, EVEN–WITH

BIG EARS, WINGS,

AND NO PANTS.

SORT OF

A MONKEY/BAT/

GREMLIN LOOK.

REALLY?

THAT’S WEIRD.

NONE OF THE WINGED

SPECIES I KNOW

FIT THAT

DESCRIPTION...

SO WHAT...

PUKED ON

ME, THEN?

I DON’T KNOW.

SO LET’S SEE IF WE

RECOGNIZE OUR

WINGED FRIEND IN THIS

LOVELY DEPICTION

OF DEBBIE DOESSTARPORT...

SPACE. THELAST UNKNOWN. FORTHOUSANDS OF YEARS,MEN HAVE LOOKED UPINTO THE STARRY NIGHT,WONDERING WHAT WASOUT THERE...

WHO’D’VE THOUGHT,

FOR ALL THOSE YEARS,

THAT THE ANSWER WAS

“MUNCHKINS”?

I’M TELLING

YOU GUYS, I’VE

SEEN THIS VIDEO

BEFORE, AND THERE’S

NO SPECIES LIKE

THAT!

THE HARMONY OFWORLDS. VAST FLEETSOF FASTER-THAN-LIGHTSTARSHIPS, LINKING NINETHOUSAND INHABITEDPLANETS, MOONS,AND COLONIES.

A VAST TRADINGWEB THAT UNITESAN ENTIRE GALACTICARM, WITH THE ANCIENTWISDOM ANDACCUMULATED SCIENCEOF 315 SENTIENTSPECIES.

WELCOME TOOUR PLANET’SGUIDE TO THE HARMONYOF WORLDS, AND OURFRIENDS FROMTHE STARS...

...THEY CAMETO US NEARLY TENYEARS AGO, DURING THESUPER BOWL...

CHAPTER THREE

PLEASE TO

FOLLOWING

LIGHT OF INDICATION-

PROGRESSION-

WALKING DESTINATION.

OFFICE TOPMAN

AWAITS.

WELCOME

TO STARPORT

CHICAGO. I’M

MELANTHA MOORE, FROM

THE UNITED NATIONS

INTERSTELLAR TRADE

ORGANIZATION.

PROFIT

TO YOUR

HOUSE.

AND

TO YOURS,

CHAY’ASH.

CAPTAIN

SWOBODA.

LIEUTENANT KELLEHER.

APPRECIATION FOR

YOUR PRESENCE. YOUR

FLIGHT WAS SWIFT

AND EXCELLENT,

I TRUST?

WELL...

IT WAS

SWIFT.

YOU ARE

UNCOMFORTABLE,

CAPTAIN?

I JUST

GET A LITTLE...UH....

MERVOUS AROUND

HEIGHTS.

AH, ONE

UNDERSTANDS...

AND REQUIRES BUT

A MOMENT TO

RECTIFY.

PLEASE TO

BE SEATED.

IT IS

SUPERIOR TO

SPEAK IN COMFORT,

NAI?

UH, YEAH.

LOOK, I’LL

COME RIGHT TO

THE POINT. WE’VE UNCOVERED

EVIDENCE OF AN ASSASSINATION

PLOT AGAINST THE SKRIT TRADE

ENVOY. WE BELIEVE IT’S THE

WORK OF A GROUP CALLED

EARTHBLOOD...

THEY ARE A

RADICAL OFFSHOOT

COMBINATION OF

THE EARTH-FIRST AND

ALT-RIGHT PURITY GROUPS.

BASICALLY, THEY...OBJECT

TO THE ALIEN

PRESENCE.

OBJECT?

ISOLATIONISTS

AND BIGOTS, CHAY’ASH.

WE’SHEY ASSIAYASNOVO TELLANASH-TARA.

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