Jim Smith - Barry Loser and the Holiday of Doom

First published in Great Britain 2014

by Jelly Pie, an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd

The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN

Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2014

The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted.

First e-book edition 2014

ISBN 978 1 4052 6802 8

eISBN 978 1 7803 1375 7

barryloser.com www.jellypiecentral.co.uk www.egmont.co.uk

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

Cover

Title page

Copyright First published in Great Britain 2014 by Jelly Pie, an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2014 The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted. First e-book edition 2014 ISBN 978 1 4052 6802 8 eISBN 978 1 7803 1375 7 barryloser.com www.jellypiecentral.co.uk www.egmont.co.uk A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Stay safe online. Any website addresses listed in this book are correct at the time of going to print. However, Egmont is not responsible for content hosted by third parties. Please be aware that online content can be subject to change and websites can contain content that is unsuitable for children. We advise that all children are supervised when using the internet.

Frilly pink bikini

Plonkton

Kangaroo jacket

Something wrong with Bunky

Goody-goody Bunky

Bad doggy

Smelly light switch

Plankton

Cat Ears

Frankie Teacup is dead

Are we nearly there yet?

Banana Moon

The next morning

Bert the bench

Plonkton seafront

Outside Gino’s Pizza

Inside Gino’s Pizza

Mrs Gino’s granny glasses

Mister Whatsitcalled

Sharonella has arrived

Trev or Trevor

Stinksplats

Bargain Barry

Attack of the Stinksplats

Weird Old Man

Melty cheese face

Yellow granny tent

Free puppies

Threelegs

Bad Barry

Cabbage puppy

Worst holiday ever

Bunky’s but

Crabby Wabby

Urrghh bleurghh gaagghh ommmph

Once we’d all stopped laughing

Best holiday ever

About the chooser of the colour of the cover

Praise for my other books

My best friend Bunky is sort of like my pet dog, so it was weird when he suddenly started fancying a cat one day.

It was about eight million weeks ago and me and Bunky were walking home from school past a Feeko’s Supermarket.

Summer was coming up, and the whole window was filled with swimming trunks and other holidayish things like that.

‘You should buy those for Sharonella!’ giggled Bunky, pointing at a bunch of fake plastic sunflowers.

Bunky’s been saying Sharonella from our class fancies me ever since she said I had a nice nose once.

‘Shut up, Bunky!’ I said, looking down at my nose and trying to work out what was so good about it. ‘How can someone like someone else’s nose?’ I mumbled, twitching it to see if that made it any better. ‘It’s just a nose for smelling stuff with.’

I tried to think of someone who fancied Bunky’s nose, but all I could come up with was my other best friend Nancy Verkenwerken, who’s sort of like my pet cat.

‘YOU SHOULD BUY THAT FOR NANCY!’ I shouted, pointing at a pink frilly bikini.

I was shouting because a plane had started flying over, by the way. Bunky’s whole face turned the same colour as the bikini, but less frilly. ‘I DON’T FANCY NANCY!’ he shouted, fiddling with a bit of old bubblegum someone had stuck on the wall.

I looked at Bunky. Something about the way he’d said it made me wonder if he actually DID fancy her. He’d definitely been smiling a lot at Nancy recently, but then Bunky smiles at everyone. That’s what sort-of pet dogs do.

And that’s when I noticed something. The whole time we’d been standing there, Bunky had been busy squidging the bubblegum into the shape of a heart.

‘WHAT IN THE NAME OF UNKEELNESS?!’ I gasped, which is what my favourite TV star Future Ratboysays when he can’t believe his eyes.