Jim Smith - Barry Loser and the Holiday of Doom

I stood up and looked at Bunky sitting there all goody-goodily, trying to impress Nancy.

‘BAD DOGGY!’ I said, wagging my finger at him, and I stormed out of the classroom.

I was in the corridor, scratching-and-sniffing a light switch, when the bell went and the door swung open and everybody started running out.

‘Thanks a LOT for getting me in trouble!’ I said, smelling Bunky’s cheesy feet standing behind me. ‘I’m never gonna get a scratch-and-sniff sticker now,’ I moaned, turning round and doing a surprise blowoff.

It wasn’t Bunky, it was Darren Darrenofski, wearing a brand-new sticker with a triangle of cheese doing a thumbs up on it.

‘How in the name of loserness did you get that?’ I said, snuffling my nostrils all around it like a dog.

‘I peeled it off Anton Mildew’s jumper when he wasn’t looking!’ burped Darren, the smell of his Fronkle burp mixing in with the cheese sticker and Gordon’s kangaroo one from earlier.

As if there weren’t enough bad smells already, Sharonella floated up. ‘Poor old Anton. You’re a bad boy, Dazzer!’ she chuckled, high fiving Darren, and the noise of their palms slapping together made me blink.

When I opened my eyes again twelve billiseconds later, Bunky was walking out of the classroom behind Nancy Verkenwerken.

I turned round to tell him off for getting me in trouble and gasped.

Stuck on to his jumper was a scratch-and-sniff sticker of a Diplodocus doing a thumbs up.

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