William Shakespeare - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

PETRUCHIO.

Why, true; he means to make a puppet of thee.

TAILOR.

She says your worship means to make a puppet of her.

PETRUCHIO.

O monstrous arrogance! Thou liest, thou thread,

Thou thimble,

Thou yard, three-quarters, half-yard, quarter, nail!

Thou flea, thou nit, thou winter-cricket thou!

Brav’d in mine own house with a skein of thread!

Away! thou rag, thou quantity, thou remnant,

Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard

As thou shalt think on prating whilst thou liv’st!

I tell thee, I, that thou hast marr’d her gown.

TAILOR.

Your worship is deceiv’d: the gown is made

Just as my master had direction.

Grumio gave order how it should be done.

GRUMIO.

I gave him no order; I gave him the stuff.

TAILOR.

But how did you desire it should be made?

GRUMIO.

Marry, sir, with needle and thread.

TAILOR.

But did you not request to have it cut?

GRUMIO.

Thou hast faced many things.

TAILOR. I have.

GRUMIO. Face not me. Thou hast braved many men; brave not me: I will neither be fac’d nor brav’d. I say unto thee, I bid thy master cut out the gown; but I did not bid him cut it to pieces: ergo, thou liest.

TAILOR.

Why, here is the note of the fashion to testify.

PETRUCHIO.

Read it.

GRUMIO.

The note lies in ‘s throat, if he say I said so.

TAILOR.

‘Imprimis, a loose-bodied gown.’

GRUMIO.

Master, if ever I said loose-bodied gown, sew me in the

skirts of it and beat me to death with a bottom of brown thread;

I said, a gown.

PETRUCHIO.

Proceed.

TAILOR.

‘With a small compassed cape.’

GRUMIO.

I confess the cape.

TAILOR.

‘With a trunk sleeve.’

GRUMIO.

I confess two sleeves.

TAILOR.

‘The sleeves curiously cut.’

PETRUCHIO.

Ay, there’s the villainy.

GRUMIO. Error i’ the bill, sir; error i’ the bill. I commanded the sleeves should be cut out, and sew’d up again; and that I’ll prove upon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble.

TAILOR. This is true that I say; an I had thee in place where thou shouldst know it.

GRUMIO. I am for thee straight; take thou the bill, give me thy mete-yard, and spare not me.

HORTENSIO.

God-a-mercy, Grumio! Then he shall have no odds.

PETRUCHIO.

Well, sir, in brief, the gown is not for me.

GRUMIO.

You are i’ the right, sir; ‘tis for my mistress.

PETRUCHIO.

Go, take it up unto thy master’s use.

GRUMIO. Villain, not for thy life! Take up my mistress’ gown for thy master’s use!

PETRUCHIO.

Why, sir, what’s your conceit in that?

GRUMIO.

O, sir, the conceit is deeper than you think for.

Take up my mistress’ gown to his master’s use!

O fie, fie, fie!

PETRUCHIO.

[Aside] Hortensio, say thou wilt see the tailor paid.

[To Tailor.] Go take it hence; be gone, and say no more.

HORTENSIO.

[Aside to Tailor.] Tailor, I’ll pay thee for thy gown tomorrow;

Take no unkindness of his hasty words.

Away, I say! commend me to thy master.

[Exit TAILOR.]

PETRUCHIO.

Well, come, my Kate; we will unto your father’s

Even in these honest mean habiliments.

Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor

For ‘tis the mind that makes the body rich;

And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds,

So honour peereth in the meanest habit.

What, is the jay more precious than the lark

Because his feathers are more beautiful?

Or is the adder better than the eel

Because his painted skin contents the eye?

O no, good Kate; neither art thou the worse

For this poor furniture and mean array.

If thou account’st it shame, lay it on me;

And therefore frolic; we will hence forthwith,

To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.

Go call my men, and let us straight to him;

And bring our horses unto Long-lane end;

There will we mount, and thither walk on foot.

Let’s see; I think ‘tis now some seven o’clock,

And well we may come there by dinner-time.

KATHERINA.

I dare assure you, sir, ‘tis almost two,

And ‘twill be suppertime ere you come there.

PETRUCHIO.

It shall be seven ere I go to horse.

Look what I speak, or do, or think to do,

You are still crossing it. Sirs, let ‘t alone:

I will not go to-day; and ere I do,

It shall be what o’clock I say it is.

HORTENSIO.

Why, so this gallant will command the sun.

[Exeunt.]

SCENE IV. Padua. Before BAPTISTA’S house.

[Enter TRANIO, and the PEDANT dressed like VINCENTIO.]

TRANIO.

Sir, this is the house; please it you that I call?

PEDANT.

Ay, what else? and, but I be deceived,

Signior Baptista may remember me,

Near twenty years ago in Genoa,

Where we were lodgers at the Pegasus.

TRANIO.

‘Tis well; and hold your own, in any case,

With such austerity as ‘longeth to a father.

PEDANT.

I warrant you. But, sir, here comes your boy;

‘Twere good he were school’d.

[Enter BIONDELLO.]

TRANIO.

Fear you not him. Sirrah Biondello,

Now do your duty throughly, I advise you.

Imagine ‘twere the right Vincentio.

BIONDELLO.

Tut! fear not me.

TRANIO.

But hast thou done thy errand to Baptista?

BIONDELLO.

I told him that your father was at Venice,

And that you look’d for him this day in Padua.

TRANIO.

Thou’rt a tall fellow; hold thee that to drink.

Here comes Baptista. Set your countenance, sir.

[Enter BAPTISTA and LUCENTIO.]

Signior Baptista, you are happily met.

[To the PEDANT] Sir, this is the gentleman I told you of;

I pray you stand good father to me now;

Give me Bianca for my patrimony.

PEDANT.

Soft, son!

Sir, by your leave: having come to Padua

To gather in some debts, my son Lucentio

Made me acquainted with a weighty cause

Of love between your daughter and himself:

And,—for the good report I hear of you,

And for the love he beareth to your daughter,

And she to him,—to stay him not too long,

I am content, in a good father’s care,

To have him match’d; and, if you please to like

No worse than I, upon some agreement

Me shall you find ready and willing

With one consent to have her so bestow’d;

For curious I cannot be with you,

Signior Baptista, of whom I hear so well.

BAPTISTA.

Sir, pardon me in what I have to say.

Your plainness and your shortness please me well.

Right true it is your son Lucentio here

Doth love my daughter, and she loveth him,

Or both dissemble deeply their affections;

And therefore, if you say no more than this,

That like a father you will deal with him,

And pass my daughter a sufficient dower,

The match is made, and all is done:

Your son shall have my daughter with consent.

TRANIO.

I thank you, sir. Where then do you know best

We be affied, and such assurance ta’en

As shall with either part’s agreement stand?

BAPTISTA.

Not in my house, Lucentio, for you know

Pitchers have ears, and I have many servants;

Besides, old Gremio is hearkening still,

And happily we might be interrupted.

TRANIO.

Then at my lodging, an it like you:

There doth my father lie; and there this night

We’ll pass the business privately and well.

Send for your daughter by your servant here;

My boy shall fetch the scrivener presently.