William Shakespeare - The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

And to conclude, we have ‘greed so well together

That upon Sunday is the wedding-day.

KATHERINA.

I’ll see thee hang’d on Sunday first.

GREMIO.

Hark, Petruchio; she says she’ll see thee hang’d first.

TRANIO.

Is this your speeding? Nay, then goodnight our part!

PETRUCHIO.

Be patient, gentlemen. I choose her for myself;

If she and I be pleas’d, what’s that to you?

‘Tis bargain’d ‘twixt us twain, being alone,

That she shall still be curst in company.

I tell you, ‘tis incredible to believe

How much she loves me: O! the kindest Kate

She hung about my neck, and kiss on kiss

She vied so fast, protesting oath on oath,

That in a twink she won me to her love.

O! you are novices: ‘tis a world to see,

How tame, when men and women are alone,

A meacock wretch can make the curstest shrew.

Give me thy hand, Kate; I will unto Venice,

To buy apparel ‘gainst the wedding-day.

Provide the feast, father, and bid the guests;

I will be sure my Katherine shall be fine.

BAPTISTA.

I know not what to say; but give me your hands.

God send you joy, Petruchio! ‘Tis a match.

GREMIO, TRANIO.

Amen, say we; we will be witnesses.

PETRUCHIO.

Father, and wife, and gentlemen, adieu.

I will to Venice; Sunday comes apace;

We will have rings and things, and fine array;

And kiss me, Kate; we will be married o’ Sunday.

[Exeunt PETRUCHIO and KATHERINA, severally.]

GREMIO.

Was ever match clapp’d up so suddenly?

BAPTISTA.

Faith, gentlemen, now I play a merchant’s part,

And venture madly on a desperate mart.

TRANIO.

‘Twas a commodity lay fretting by you;

‘Twill bring you gain, or perish on the seas.

BAPTISTA.

The gain I seek is, quiet in the match.

GREMIO.

No doubt but he hath got a quiet catch.

But now, Baptista, to your younger daughter:

Now is the day we long have looked for;

I am your neighbour, and was suitor first.

TRANIO.

And I am one that love Bianca more

Than words can witness or your thoughts can guess.

GREMIO.

Youngling, thou canst not love so dear as I.

TRANIO.

Greybeard, thy love doth freeze.

GREMIO.

But thine doth fry.

Skipper, stand back; ‘tis age that nourisheth.

TRANIO.

But youth in ladies’ eyes that flourisheth.

BAPTISTA.

Content you, gentlemen; I’ll compound this strife:

‘Tis deeds must win the prize, and he of both

That can assure my daughter greatest dower

Shall have my Bianca’s love.

Say, Signior Gremio, what can you assure her?

GREMIO.

First, as you know, my house within the city

Is richly furnished with plate and gold:

Basins and ewers to lave her dainty hands;

My hangings all of Tyrian tapestry;

In ivory coffers I have stuff’d my crowns;

In cypress chests my arras counterpoints,

Costly apparel, tents, and canopies,

Fine linen, Turkey cushions boss’d with pearl,

Valance of Venice gold in needle-work;

Pewter and brass, and all things that belong

To house or housekeeping: then, at my farm

I have a hundred milch-kine to the pail,

Six score fat oxen standing in my stalls,

And all things answerable to this portion.

Myself am struck in years, I must confess;

And if I die tomorrow this is hers,

If whilst I live she will be only mine.

TRANIO.

That ‘only’ came well in. Sir, list to me:

I am my father’s heir and only son;

If I may have your daughter to my wife,

I’ll leave her houses three or four as good

Within rich Pisa’s walls as any one

Old Signior Gremio has in Padua;

Besides two thousand ducats by the year

Of fruitful land, all which shall be her jointure.

What, have I pinch’d you, Signior Gremio?

GREMIO.

Two thousand ducats by the year of land!

My land amounts not to so much in all:

That she shall have, besides an argosy

That now is lying in Marseilles’ road.

What, have I chok’d you with an argosy?

TRANIO.

Gremio, ‘tis known my father hath no less

Than three great argosies, besides two galliasses,

And twelve tight galleys; these I will assure her,

And twice as much, whate’er thou offer’st next.

GREMIO.

Nay, I have offer’d all; I have no more;

And she can have no more than all I have;

If you like me, she shall have me and mine.

TRANIO.

Why, then the maid is mine from all the world,

By your firm promise; Gremio is out-vied.

BAPTISTA.

I must confess your offer is the best;

And let your father make her the assurance,

She is your own; else, you must pardon me;

If you should die before him, where’s her dower?

TRANIO.

That’s but a cavil; he is old, I young.

GREMIO.

And may not young men die as well as old?

BAPTISTA.

Well, gentlemen,

I am thus resolv’d. On Sunday next, you know,

My daughter Katherine is to be married;

Now, on the Sunday following, shall Bianca

Be bride to you, if you make this assurance;

If not, to Signior Gremio.

And so I take my leave, and thank you both.

GREMIO.

Adieu, good neighbour.

[Exit BAPTISTA.]

Now, I fear thee not:

Sirrah young gamester, your father were a fool

To give thee all, and in his waning age

Set foot under thy table. Tut! a toy!

An old Italian fox is not so kind, my boy.

[Exit.]

TRANIO.

A vengeance on your crafty wither’d hide!

Yet I have fac’d it with a card of ten.

‘Tis in my head to do my master good:

I see no reason but suppos’d Lucentio

Must get a father, call’d ‘suppos’d Vincentio’;

And that’s a wonder: fathers commonly

Do get their children; but in this case of wooing

A child shall get a sire, if I fail not of my cunning.

[Exit.]

ACT III.

SCENE I. Padua. A room in BAPTISTA’S house.

[Enter LUCENTIO, HORTENSIO, and BIANCA.]

LUCENTIO.

Fiddler, forbear; you grow too forward, sir.

Have you so soon forgot the entertainment

Her sister Katherine welcome’d you withal?

HORTENSIO.

But, wrangling pedant, this is

The patroness of heavenly harmony:

Then give me leave to have prerogative;

And when in music we have spent an hour,

Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.

LUCENTIO.

Preposterous ass, that never read so far

To know the cause why music was ordain’d!

Was it not to refresh the mind of man

After his studies or his usual pain?

Then give me leave to read philosophy,

And while I pause serve in your harmony.

HORTENSIO.

Sirrah, I will not bear these braves of thine.

BIANCA.

Why, gentlemen, you do me double wrong,

To strive for that which resteth in my choice.

I am no breeching scholar in the schools,

I’ll not be tied to hours nor ‘pointed times,

But learn my lessons as I please myself.

And, to cut off all strife, here sit we down;

Take you your instrument, play you the whiles;

His lecture will be done ere you have tun’d.

HORTENSIO.

You’ll leave his lecture when I am in tune?

[Retires.]

LUCENTIO.

That will be never: tune your instrument.

BIANCA.

Where left we last?

LUCENTIO.

Here, madam:—

Hic ibat Simois; hic est Sigeia tellus;

Hic steterat Priami regia celsa senis.

BIANCA.

Construe them.

LUCENTIO. ‘Hic ibat,’ as I told you before, ‘Simois,’ I am Lucentio, ‘hic est,’ son unto Vincentio of Pisa, ‘Sigeia tellus,’ disguised thus to get your love, ‘Hic steterat,’ and that Lucentio that comes awooing, ‘Priami,’ is my man Tranio, ‘regia,’ bearing my port, ‘celsa senis,’ that we might beguile the old pantaloon.