GEORGE SHAW - Collected Works

IRAS. At Caesar.

CLEOPATRA. If you were not a fool, you would laugh at me; and if you were not a coward you would not be afraid to tell me so. ( Ftatateeta returns. ) Ftatateeta: they tell me that Pothinus has offered you a bribe to admit him to my presence.

FTATATEETA ( protesting ). Now by my father’s gods——

CLEOPATRA ( cutting her short despotically ). Have I not told you not to deny things? You would spend the day calling your father’s gods to witness to your virtues if I let you. Go take the bribe; and bring in Pothinus. ( Ftatateeta is about to reply. ) Don’t answer me. Go.

Ftatateeta goes out; and Cleopatra rises and begins to prowl to and fro between her chair and the door, meditating. All rise and stand.

IRAS ( as she reluctantly rises ). Heigho! I wish Caesar were back in Rome.

CLEOPATRA ( threateningly ). It will be a bad day for you all when he goes. Oh, if I were not ashamed to let him see that I am as cruel at heart as my father, I would make you repent that speech! Why do you wish him away?

CHARMIAN. He makes you so terribly prosy and serious and learned and philosophical. It is worse than being religious, at our ages. ( The ladies laugh. )

CLEOPATRA. Cease that endless cackling, will you. Hold your tongues.

CHARMIAN ( with mock resignation ). Well, well: we must try to live up to Caesar.

They laugh again. Cleopatra rages silently as she continues to prowl to and fro. Ftatateeta comes back with Pothinus, who halts on the threshold.

FTATATEETA ( at the door ). Pothinus craves the ear of the——

CLEOPATRA. There, there: that will do: let him come in. ( She resumes her seat. All sit down except Pothinus, who advances to the middle of the room. Ftatateeta takes her former place. ) Well, Pothinus: what is the latest news from your rebel friends?

POTHINUS ( haughtily ). I am no friend of rebellion. And a prisoner does not receive news.

CLEOPATRA. You are no more a prisoner than I am—than Caesar is. These six months we have been besieged in this palace by my subjects. You are allowed to walk on the beach among the soldiers. Can I go further myself, or can Caesar?

POTHINUS. You are but a child, Cleopatra, and do not understand these matters.

The ladies laugh. Cleopatra looks inscrutably at him.

CHARMIAN. I see you do not know the latest news, Pothinus.

POTHINUS. What is that?

CHARMIAN. That Cleopatra is no longer a child. Shall I tell you how to grow much older, and much, much wiser in one day?

POTHINUS. I should prefer to grow wiser without growing older.

CHARMIAN. Well, go up to the top of the lighthouse; and get somebody to take you by the hair and throw you into the sea. ( The ladies laugh. )

CLEOPATRA. She is right, Pothinus: you will come to the shore with much conceit washed out of you. ( The ladies laugh. Cleopatra rises impatiently. ) Begone, all of you. I will speak with Pothinus alone. Drive them out, Ftatateeta. ( They run out laughing. Ftatateeta shuts the door on them. ) What are you waiting for?

FTATATEETA. It is not meet that the Queen remain alone with——

CLEOPATRA ( interrupting her ). Ftatateeta: must I sacrifice you to your father’s gods to teach you that I am Queen of Egypt, and not you?

FTATATEETA ( indignantly ). You are like the rest of them. You want to be what these Romans call a New Woman. ( She goes out, banging the door. )

CLEOPATRA ( sitting down again ). Now, Pothinus: why did you bribe Ftatateeta to bring you hither?

POTHINUS ( studying her gravely ). Cleopatra: what they tell me is true. You are changed.

CLEOPATRA. Do you speak with Caesar every day for six months: and you will be changed.

POTHINUS. It is the common talk that you are infatuated with this old man.

CLEOPATRA. Infatuated? What does that mean? Made foolish, is it not? Oh no: I wish I were.

POTHINUS. You wish you were made foolish! How so?

CLEOPATRA. When I was foolish, I did what I liked, except when Ftatateeta beat me; and even then I cheated her and did it by stealth. Now that Caesar has made me wise, it is no use my liking or disliking; I do what must be done, and have no time to attend to myself. That is not happiness; but it is greatness. If Caesar were gone, I think I could govern the Egyptians; for what Caesar is to me, I am to the fools around me.

POTHINUS ( looking hard at her ). Cleopatra: this may be the vanity of youth.

CLEOPATRA. No, no: it is not that I am so clever, but that the others are so stupid.

POTHINUS ( musingly ). Truly, that is the great secret.

CLEOPATRA. Well, now tell me what you came to say?

POTHINUS ( embarrassed ). I! Nothing.

CLEOPATRA. Nothing!

POTHINUS. At least—to beg for my liberty: that is all.

CLEOPATRA. For that you would have knelt to Caesar. No, Pothinus: you came with some plan that depended on Cleopatra being a little nursery kitten. Now that Cleopatra is a Queen, the plan is upset.

POTHINUS ( bowing his head submissively ). It is so.

CLEOPATRA ( exultant ). Aha!

POTHINUS ( raising his eyes keenly to hers ). Is Cleopatra then indeed a Queen, and no longer Caesar’s prisoner and slave?

CLEOPATRA. Pothinus: we are all Caesar’s slaves—all we in this land of Egypt—whether we will or no. And she who is wise enough to know this will reign when Caesar departs.

POTHINUS. You harp on Caesar’s departure.

CLEOPATRA. What if I do?

POTHINUS. Does he not love you?

CLEOPATRA. Love me! Pothinus: Caesar loves no one. Who are those we love? Only those whom we do not hate: all people are strangers and enemies to us except those we love. But it is not so with Caesar. He has no hatred in him: he makes friends with everyone as he does with dogs and children. His kindness to me is a wonder: neither mother, father, nor nurse have ever taken so much care for me, or thrown open their thoughts to me so freely.

POTHINUS. Well: is not this love?

CLEOPATRA. What! When he will do as much for the first girl he meets on his way back to Rome? Ask his slave, Britannus: he has been just as good to him. Nay, ask his very horse! His kindness is not for anything in me : it is in his own nature.

POTHINUS. But how can you be sure that he does not love you as men love women?

CLEOPATRA. Because I cannot make him jealous. I have tried.

POTHINUS. Hm! Perhaps I should have asked, then, do you love him ?

CLEOPATRA. Can one love a god? Besides, I love another Roman: one whom I saw long before Caesar—no god, but a man—one who can love and hate—one whom I can hurt and who would hurt me.

POTHINUS. Does Caesar know this?

CLEOPATRA. Yes

POTHINUS. And he is not angry.

CLEOPATRA. He promises to send him to Egypt to please me!

POTHINUS. I do not understand this man.

CLEOPATRA ( with superb contempt ). You understand Caesar! How could you? ( Proudly ) I do—by instinct.

POTHINUS ( deferentially, after a moment’s thought ). Your Majesty caused me to be admitted to-day. What message has the Queen for me?

CLEOPATRA. This. You think that by making my brother king, you will rule in Egypt, because you are his guardian and he is a little silly.

POTHINUS. The Queen is pleased to say so.

CLEOPATRA. The Queen is pleased to say this also. That Caesar will eat up you, and Achillas, and my brother, as a cat eats up mice; and that he will put on this land of Egypt as a shepherd puts on his garment. And when he has done that, he will return to Rome, and leave Cleopatra here as his viceroy.