Kenneth Cloke - The Art of Waking People Up

1 Cover

2 Title Page

3 Copyright Copyright © 2003 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, e-mail: permcoordinator@wiley.com . Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739 or outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax to 317-572-4002. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Credits appear on page 305 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Cloke, Ken, date. The art of waking people up : cultivating awareness and authenticity at work / by Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith. p. cm. “A Warren Bennis book.” Includes index. ISBN 0-7879-6380-1 (alk. paper) 1. Mentoring in business. 2. Incentives in industry. 3. Organizational behavior. I. Goldsmith, Joan. II. Title. HF5385 .C54 2003 658.3'124—dc21 2002015466 FIRST EDITION HB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

4 Foreword

5 Preface Why We Wrote This Book How the Book Is Structured Acknowledgments

6 The Authors

7 Part I Context 1 An Orientation to Awareness and Authenticity Resistance to Change The Limitations of Roles and Expectations Why Organizations Create Roles Cultivating Awareness Cultivating Authenticity Cultivating Congruence Cultivating Committed Action What Wakes Us Up Seven Openings for Waking Up at Work Organizational Support Turnaround Feedback, Coaching, Mentoring, and Assessment Lifelong Learning 2 The Art of Waking Up Some Underlying Questions Clarifying the Goals Turning Ourselves Around Breaking the Cycle of Distrust Three Ways of Being 3 Where It All Begins Options in Responding to Dysfunction Transcending Family Ruts Parents as Managers and Managers as Parents Four Steps to Breaking Patterns from the Past How to Explore Family Issues at Work Overcoming Overcompensations Finally Growing Up

8 Part II Processes 4 Turnaround Feedback Varieties of Feedback Turnaround Quality Feedback Reasons for Not Communicating Honestly Feedback Is Risky Tips About Feedback Team Feedback A Script for Managers Seeking Feedback Video Feedback Questions to Prompt Self-Reflection 5 Transformational Coaching Coaching Is a Voluntary Relationship Coaches Are on the Sidelines Six Steps to Transformational Coaching Turnaround Feedback Supports Transformational Coaching Strategies for Transformational Empowerment 6 Strategic Mentoring What Is Strategic Mentoring? The Uses of Mentoring Mentors as Strategic Partners What Makes Mentoring Strategic The Stages of Strategic Mentoring E-Mentoring Tools for Successful Mentors Understanding Organizational Culture 7 Participatory Assessment Values—Integrating Theory and Practice The Complexity of Experience: What Are We Assessing? Cultural Diversity and Assessment Creating a Context: Linking Learning and Assessment Designing Participatory Assessment Systems Six Steps to Participatory Assessment 360-Degree Assessments Discipline and Termination Twelve Criteria for Just Cause

9 Part III Techniques 8 Courageous Listening The Elements of Communication How Listening Is Distorted by Organizational Hierarchy The Elements of Communication Listening as a Human Being Active, Empathetic, and Responsive Listening Listening for What We Do Not Know The Need for Self-Honesty Ask Courageous Questions Attitude and Listening Listening and the Creation of Community 9 Paradoxical Problem Solving Learning to Love Our Problems Breaking the Compulsion to Solve Problems Appreciating Paradox Obstacles to Problem Solving Empowering Curiosity and Imagination Five Steps to Effective Problem Solving Multidimensional Problem Solving 10 Supportive Confrontation Making the Case for Supportive Confrontation Problems and Opportunities in Confrontation Criticism Is Critical How to Prepare for Supportive Confrontation The Method of Supportive Confrontation Supportive Confrontation in Teams Handling Dodges and Evasions Ways of Encouraging Responsibility The Varieties of Apology 11 Risky Conflict Resolution Two Kinds of Organizational Conflict Responsibility for Conflict Roles in Conflict Resolution Preparing for Resolution Eight Paths to Conflict Resolution Lessons from Others The Importance of Attitude

10 Part IV Relationships 12 Waking Organizations Up Transforming Cultures, Structures, and Systems Collaborative, Learning-Oriented, Inquiry-Based Cultures Synergistic, Team-Based Structures Integrative, Value-Driven Systems 13 Fostering Congruence and Commitment in Organizations Control Versus Learning Orientation Creating Learning Organizations and Relationships From Training to Development Organizational Congruence Consensus Decision Making and Commitment From Waking Up to Committed Action 14 Ubiquitous Leadership and Organizational Democracy New Forms of Organizational Leadership Waking Up and Democracy Strategic Integration Cultivating Love at Work

11 Index

12 End User License Agreement

1 Chapter 2 Figure 2.1 Cycle of Distrust.

2 Chapter 7Figure 7.1. 360-Degree Assessment.

3 Chapter 8Figure 8.1. Traditional Diagram of Communications.Figure 8.2. Communications and Context.

4 Chapter 13Figure 13.1. Core Learning Processes.

5 Chapter 14Figure 14.1. Organizational Dimensions.Figure 14.2. An Integrated Strategy for Waking Organizations Up.

1 Chapter 2 Table 2.1. Three Ways of Being.

2 Chapter 4Exhibit 4.1. Supporting Team Process.Exhibit 4.2. Blocking Team Process.

1 Cover

2 Table of Contents

3 The Art of Waking People Up

4 Series Page

5 Title Page

6 Copyright Copyright © 2003 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved. Published by Jossey-Bass A Wiley Imprint 989 Market Street, San Francisco, CA 94103-1741 www.josseybass.com No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978-750-8400, fax 978-750-4470, or on the web at www.copyright.com . Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, e-mail: permcoordinator@wiley.com . Jossey-Bass books and products are available through most bookstores. To contact Jossey-Bass directly call our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800-956-7739 or outside the U.S. at 317-572-3986, or fax to 317-572-4002. Jossey-Bass also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that appears in print may not be available in electronic books. Credits appear on page 305 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Cloke, Ken, date. The art of waking people up : cultivating awareness and authenticity at work / by Kenneth Cloke and Joan Goldsmith. p. cm. “A Warren Bennis book.” Includes index. ISBN 0-7879-6380-1 (alk. paper) 1. Mentoring in business. 2. Incentives in industry. 3. Organizational behavior. I. Goldsmith, Joan. II. Title. HF5385 .C54 2003 658.3'124—dc21 2002015466 FIRST EDITION HB Printing 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1