Annie Auerbach - Despicable Me 2

In the Arctic Circle, there is snow and ice as far as the eye can see. And, man, is it cold! There’s not a lot to do; even if you’re a Russian guard at a top secret research laboratory, time still passes slowly. Unless… you have a deck of cards!

Using an overturned barrel as a table, the guards engage in a serious game of poker. When one of them wins the game, he happily pulls the coins toward himself and does a celebratory dance, spinning around. When he finally stops dancing, however, he notices that his coins are gone!

He immediately accuses the other guard of stealing them, but his opponent insists he didn’t. The winner threatens the loser with a shovel, when all of a sudden, it flies into the air! Then the metal barrel follows!

The guards look up to see a gigantic magnetic ship hovering above the laboratory.

Suddenly, a lab door opens and a bunch of fellow guards rush out, pointing their guns at the magnetic ship.

WHOOSH! All of their guns are pulled up toward the ship, along with the guards themselves, who are strapped to the weapons!

Next, the entire lab begins to move off the ground. Terrified guards and scientists leap out into the snow below. With a final clank , the lab makes contact with the mysterious ship. As it flies away, the remaining guards and scientists watch with open mouths.

Three weeks later, top secret government agents view the security footage of the research station being magnetically stolen.

“We’re still no closer to cracking this?” a portly man asks in an uptight British accent.

When there is no response, he gives an order: “Bring him in.”

Gru surveys the scene in front of him. Yep, it’s time. He grabs a menacing-looking weapon, pulls the trigger, and… out comes a unicorn balloon! He puts it next to the other ones lining the windowsill and smiles, knowing they look just perfect for Agnes’s sixth birthday party.

Not long after, the party is in full swing. The yard is decorated with balloons and streamers, along with a big bouncy house shaped like a castle. But this is no regular party with boring party games. This is a party thrown by Gru!

In one corner, two little girls fish in a small kiddie pool. One of the girls gets a bite and happily pulls up a toy fish… until a real-life piranha jumps out and eats the toy fish! In another part of the yard, a boy and a girl sword fight. The boy does a bunch of fancy moves, but the girl is not impressed. She waits patiently for him to finish showing off, then pounds him with a club.

Agnes goes down a slide, a giant grin on her face. “This is the best party EVER!” she declares. Her friends are dressed as duchesses and countesses, while Agnes is dressed as a princess riding a unicorn, which is her favorite animal in the whole entire world!

Meanwhile, Edith is dressed as a ninja. She climbs across the monkey bars, just as a bunch of boxing gloves and blades shoot up from below. She avoids them with skill and ease. She then jumps to the ground, narrowly avoiding a bear trap.

“Ha-ha! Yeah!” she exclaims.

Just then, Agnes runs into the middle of the yard and screams, “Oh no! A dragon is approaching!”

All the kids turn to see Gru’s pet dressed as a dragon. His name is Kyle, and he has long, spiky teeth. Kyle is not thrilled to play the part of the dragon and grumbles, causing the kids to scream and huddle around Agnes.

Then Agnes’s oldest sister, Margo, comes out dressed as Joan of Arc. She is wearing a suit of armor and carrying a mighty sword.

“Fear not,” announces Margo. “For here come the gallant knights!”

She gestures to a group of Minions wearing tiny suits of armor and holding different medieval weapons. The kids cheer as the Minions charge toward Kyle. But Minion One accidentally pokes another with his sword. A spiked mace hits another Minion. A fight breaks out, and soon the Minions are fighting one another, rather than Kyle, the dragon.

Meanwhile, Gru is busy grilling burgers by the barbecue and talking on his cell phone.

“No, no, no!” he screams into the phone. “What do you mean she’s not coming? I have a backyard full of these little girls who are counting on a visit from a fairy princess!” He listens for a minute and then says, “I don’t want a refund! I want a fairy princess. Please! I am begging you!”

But the person on the other end of the line still says no.

Gru’s voice gets low, and he says, “You know what? I hope you can sleep at night, you crusher of little girls’ dreams!” He hangs up with a huff and turns to see Agnes standing in front of him.

“Ooh, ooh! When’s the fairy princess coming?” she asks expectantly.

Gru stares down at Agnes’s large, excited eyes. He opens his mouth to tell her the truth, but he just can’t do it. “Any minute now!” he says instead.

“Yayyyy!” Agnes squeals with excitement and gallops off.

A worried look crosses Gru’s face. What am I going to do now? he thinks.

He spots two Minions and instructs them to keep the children entertained for a few minutes.

The Minions get right to work, directing the kids to sit in a semicircle on the grass. Then the Minions dress up as magicians and ask Edith to be their assistant.

One Minion blows up a balloon and puts it in Edith’s mouth. Then the other pulls out a chain saw and heads straight for her!

Luckily, Margo is there to intervene. “Whoa! Whoa! Okay, all right. That’s enough of the magic show!”

“Awww,” the Minions and Edith say, disappointed.

Margo suddenly looks around. “Wait, did you hear that?” she asks the little girls. “It sounded like the twinkling sounds of magical fairy dust!”

The kids gasp and look around.

“It’s the fairy princess!” exclaims Agnes. “She’s coming!”

“Look!” yells Margo, pointing to the sky.

Up in the air is the fairy princess: Gru! He is dressed in a puffy pink dress, fairy wings, glittery eyelashes, and a tiara, and is holding a wand. Edith’s jaw drops at the sight, and the inflated balloon slips out of her mouth and flies up into the air.

Up on top of the house, many Minions struggle to lower the fairy princess down on a rope. But when Edith’s balloon floats up and passes them, they get distracted. The Minions let go of the rope, and Gru swings wildly, smashing into the wall of the house before crashing to the ground.