Annie Auerbach - Despicable Me 2

“Aaaaaahhhh!” Gru screams.

Then he stands up and regains his fairylike composure. Adopting a high-pitched voice, he says to the girls, “It is I, Gru… zinkerbell! The most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday!” Agnes beams with joy!

Gru sprinkles the other partygoers with glitter as they simply stare at him, frozen in their spots.

Then a little girl raises her hand. “How come you’re so fat?” she asks.

Gru grits his teeth and forces a smile. “Because my house is made of candy, and sometimes I eat instead of facing my problems.” Before the same little girl can ask another question, Gru says, “Okay! Time for cake!”

As the kids cheer and run to the table, Agnes approaches Gru. “Thank you, Gru-zinkerbell. You’re the best fairy princess ever!”

Gru smiles. In the high-pitched voice, he replies, “You are welcome, little girl.”

Agnes runs off but quickly returns. She whispers in Gru’s ear. “I know it’s really you, Gru. I’m just pretending for the other kids.”

Gru watches Agnes join her friends. He couldn’t be prouder….

Then Jillian comes into view. She is an annoying mother of one of the kids at the party and is always pestering Gru.

“Sooo…,” she begins. “I’m going to go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie is recently single and—”

“No, no, no, get off the limb right now,” Gru says as soon as he realizes what Jillian is saying. “No limb!”

“Come on,” Jillian continues. “She’s a riot. She sings karaoke. She has a lot of free time—looks aren’t that important to her.”

Gru shakes his head. “No, that is not happening. Seriously. I’m fine.” He begins to walk away from her.

Jillian calls after Gru. “Okay, fine. Forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?”

“No!” answers Gru.

“Oh, oh!” exclaims Jillian. “I know someone whose husband just died!”

Just then, a Minion with his helmet on backward walks over and accidentally smashes Jillian in the shin with his club.

“Ow! Hey! Ow!” Jillian says as she limps away.

Gru is secretly grateful for the Minion. He just wants to relax and enjoy the rest of the day.

Too bad that’s not the plan. Gru has no idea who’s lurking just beyond the driveway….

As dusk falls over the town, Gru takes Kyle out to the front yard. The creature lifts up his leg next to Gru’s flowers.

“Kyle! No! Do not do your business on the petunias!” Gru scolds. He picks up Kyle and places him next to his neighbor’s bush. “There you go. Those are Fred’s. Go crazy.”

Kyle does, and the bush immediately withers and dies. Gru chuckles. “Good boy.”

A stranger’s voice startles the pair. “Mr. Gru?”

Gru turns and sees a tall, redheaded woman standing there.

She holds up her badge. “Hi! Agent Lucy Wilde of the Anti-Villain League.” She realizes her badge is upside-down and flips it. “Oh, whoops!” Lucy clears her throat and changes her voice to a more serious tone. “Sorry, you’re going to have to come with me.”

“Oh, sorry, I—Freeze Ray!” Gru whips out his Freeze Ray and fires it. A wall of ice heads for Lucy.

But before it reaches her, Lucy pulls from her purse a Mini-Flamethrower, which instantly melts the ice.

“You know, you really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru,” Lucy says. “For example…” She pulls out a tube of lipstick and fires it at Gru. The tip flies through the air and hits him in the chest. ZAP! His body begins flailing in different directions before he finally passes out.

“AVL-Issued Lipstick!” Lucy calls out with glee.

Unfortunately, when she tries to load Gru into her car, he is a lot heavier than she expects. She finally gets him into the trunk and is about to close it, when two Minions come around the corner.

Tom and Stuart see their boss in the trunk and exchange horrified looks. “Boss!” they call out as the trunk is shut and Lucy gets into the car.

The two Minions take off after the car, running as fast as their little legs can carry them. They catch up to it and Tom leaps up onto the trunk. He reaches his hand out to Stuart, who is falling behind.

Stuart jumps and Tom catches him by the strap of his overalls. Then the car begins weaving in and out of traffic. Stuart skis behind the car as sparks fly from his shoes. He runs into a clothesline and gets caught in a sheet, which turns into a sail and causes him to float! Lucy spots the commotion in her side mirror and slams on the brakes. Both Minions fly through the air.

Seeing this, Lucy quickly opens the convertible top on the car, causing the Minions to land right in the passenger’s seat. Tom and Stuart strike threatening karate poses. “Hi-YA!”

Lucy zaps them, and they quickly pass out. She continues driving until she reaches a pier. But she doesn’t stop! She drives right off the end of the pier and lands in the ocean with a splash!

The car transforms into an underwater vehicle as it submerges. Not long after, the Minions wake up. The vehicle speeds through the water, when suddenly an octopus slams onto the windshield. Lucy turns on the windshield wipers, which slap the octopus in the face until he’s had enough and swims off, leaving an inky cloud.

“Whoa…,” the Minions say in awe.

Lucy honks at fish, which part as a hungry shark comes right for them! She expertly steers out of the way just in time.

Finally, they arrive at a giant submarine with the letters AVL on the side. A hatch opens, and Lucy’s vehicle goes inside.

Inside the sub, the water drains out from a holding dock. A hair dryer and buffer appear to dry off Lucy’s car. The car is then lowered into a room filled with blinking lights and monitors, where busy AVL agents work in the background. As Lucy and the Minions get out of the car, she pushes a button on her keychain, and Gru is ejected from the trunk.

“What… where… ah… foot’s asleep… ah… pins and needles…,” Gru says groggily. He realizes he has a starfish on his head and a sea urchin stuck to his pants and pries them both off. He looks around and has no idea where he is.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Gru,” says a portly British man named Silas. “I apologize for our method of getting you here.”

Before Gru can answer, Lucy pipes up. “I don’t. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I’m not going to lie. I enjoyed that—every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually. It’s like—”

“That’s enough, Agent Wilde,” interrupts Silas.

“Sorry, sir,” Lucy says, taking a step back.

“This is bogus!” Gru declares. “I don’t know who you people think you are, but—”

“We are the Anti-Villain League,” explains Silas. He summons a map that shows all the AVL offices around the world. “It’s an ultrasecret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank? We’re not interested. Kill someone? Not our deal. But you want to melt the polar ice caps? Or vaporize Mount Fuji? Or even steal the moon? Then we notice.”