Annie Auerbach - Despicable Me 2

Gru is about to respond when Dave the Minion comes out of the kitchen. He is carrying a cupcake shaped like a Minion.

“Voilà!” he says.

With lightning-quick reflexes, Lucy smashes the cupcake, flips Dave into the air, and pins him to the counter. “Do you know this guy?” she asks Gru.

Gru stares at her in shock. “Yes, he’s one of my Minions.”

Lucy gasps. “Oh, I’m sorry! I should have known.” She releases Dave. “You’re free to go.”

Dave stares at Lucy. He is instantly smitten. A magical glow appears around Lucy as Dave falls in love and imagines their future life together.

Gru’s voice interrupts Dave’s daydream fantasy. “Earth to Dave! You can leave now.”

Dave goes back into the kitchen, never taking his eyes off Lucy.

Once he’s gone, Lucy turns excitedly to Gru. “All right! Let’s see who’s got the purple stuff,” she says. “Isn’t it great? Secret spy stuff! Don’t you love your job? Oh, this is going to be fun!”

Gru doesn’t want to work with a partner, let alone Lucy. His only response is a sarcastic “Yippee.”

Alittle while later, Gru and Lucy stare at a video screen from a hidden monitor inside the cupcake shop. They operate a camera that telescopes out of the cherry on the giant cupcake sign in front of the shop.

“A little to the left,” Lucy instructs. Gru moves the camera to the left until he stops on an innocent-looking woman at a flower shop. “Okay, first suspect: Hedda Blumentoft, proprietor of Mum’s the Word Floral Shop.”

Gru takes one look and replies, “No, not her.”

Lucy moves the camera to the next suspect: a small, perky man holding an empty teddy-bear skin. “That’s Chuck Kinney, owner of Stuff-A-Pet.”

They watch as he shoves the teddy bear’s butt onto a metal tube. The bear inflates until it explodes into a torrent of bearskin and stuffing. Gru dismisses him. “I don’t think so.”

The camera moves again and lands on a short Asian man wearing a ridiculous blond wig. “Next, Floyd Eaglesan, owner of the Eagle Hair Club.”

She pushes a button, and the camera zooms in on Floyd. He is standing in front of his store, waving hello to passing shoppers.

Gru jokes, “His only crime is that wig, right?” Even though Floyd looks harmless, Lucy senses that he must be hiding something. “There he is! Twisted little sicko…”

Gru is frustrated at the lack of credible suspects and snaps, “Are we looking at the same people? Because there is no way they are villains!”

But before Lucy can respond…

Ding-a-ling-a-ling! The bell on the cupcake shop’s front door rings, signaling a customer. Gru and Lucy quickly hide their equipment and try to act natural.

“ Buenos días , my friends,” a man says.

“Sorry, we’re closed,” replies Gru.

“Forgive me,” the man says graciously. “I saw the ‘open’ sign in the window and jumped to conclusions. I shouldn’t do that. Anyway… I am Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa & Salsa Restaurant across the mall. Now open for breakfast!” He hands Gru a card. “And you are?”

“Gru. And this is Lucy. And now you may get out.”

Eduardo protests. “But this is just going to take un momento . I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo party, and I am going to need two hundred of your best cupcakes decorated with the Mexican flag. It looks something like this.” With that, he rips open his shirt, revealing a tattoo of the Mexican flag on his chest. He makes it wave by flexing his muscles.

“So it’s all settled,” says Eduardo. “I’ll pick ’em up next week. Have a good day. Come by if you get a chance, okay?” Gru is relieved when Eduardo finally leaves, but after a few seconds, he pops back in. “And welcome to the mall family!”

Because of where he is standing, the lighting creates shadows on Eduardo’s face that remind Gru of someone. As soon as Eduardo leaves and the door closes again, Gru gasps and says, “El Macho.”

“What?” asks Lucy.

“But it couldn’t be…,” Gru says to himself.

“What? What couldn’t be?”

“That guy looks exactly like a villain named El Macho, from about twenty years ago.”

Lucy listens intently as Gru explains the legend of El Macho.

“He was ruthless; he was dangerous,” begins Gru, “and as the name implies, very macho.”

Gru tells Lucy the story of how El Macho would drink snake venom and eat the glass it was served in… how El Macho headbutted an armored truck and then punched through the bulletproof glass with his bare hands to take out the guards… how he then lifted the truck onto his back and ran down the street with it.

“Ah, but sadly, like all the greats, El Macho was gone too soon,” continues Gru. “He died in the most macho way possible: He rode a shark with two hundred fifty pounds of dynamite strapped to his chest into the mouth of an active volcano. It was glorious.”

Lucy stares at Gru. “Yeah, sounds like El Macho is pretty dead.”

“They never found the body,” Gru explains. “All that was ever retrieved was a pile of singed chest hair.” He thinks of Eduardo. “But that face! It has got to be El Macho!”

Lucy excitedly proclaims, “Yeah, well, you know what? I say we break in to his restaurant! It will be my first break-in!”

Gru looks out the window and points to Eduardo in the mall. He is certain. “If anybody in this place has the PX-41 serum, it’s him.”

“All right, all right,” says Gru, gently leading the girls into their bedroom. “Homework done, pajamas on, teeth brushed, time for bed!”

“What’s the big hurry?” asks Margo.

“I just… I have a lot of work to do,” Gru covers.

“So, hugs, kisses, good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs blah-blah-blah…” He turns to leave, but Agnes is standing in the doorway.

“But you said you’d help me practice my part for the Mother’s Day show!” she says.

Gru looks down at Agnes’s puppy dog eyes. He grits his teeth and attempts a smile. “Fine, fine. Let me hear it—quickly.”

Agnes is pleased and immediately begins to practice her part:

Unfortunately, Agnes sounds like a robot when she says it, but Gru puts on a phony smile, anyway.

“Wow! That was something else!” cheers Gru. “I really liked the way you smiled at the end. Let’s try this one more time, but a teensy bit less like a zombie, okay?”

Agnes tries it again, but still in the same monotone, robotlike way.

“Perfect!” says Gru. “Time to go!”