George Bernard Shaw - Pygmalion and Three Other Plays

MRS DUBEDAT Thank God!

RIDGEON Wait a moment. Try to think of those ten patients as ten shipwrecked men on a raft — a raft that is barely large enough to save them — that will not support one more. Another head bobs up through the waves at the side. Another man begs to be taken aboard. He implores the captain of the raft to save him. But the captain can only do that by pushing one of his ten off the raft and drowning him to make room for the new comer. That is what you are asking me to do.

MRS DUBEDAT But how can that be? I dont understand. Surely —

RIDGEON You must take my word for it that it is so. My laboratory, my staff, and myself are working at full pressure. We are doing our utmost. The treatment is a new one. It takes time, means, and skill; and there is not enough for another case. Our ten cases are already chosen cases. Do you understand what I mean by chosen?

MRS DUBEDAT Chosen. No: I cant understand.

RIDGEON (sternly] You m u s t understand. Youve got to understand and to face it. In every single one of those ten cases I have had to consider, not only whether the man could be saved, but whether he was worth saving. There were fifty cases to choose from; and forty had to be condemned to death. Some of the forty had young wives and helpless children. If the hardness of their cases could have saved them they would have been saved ten times over. Ive no doubt your case is a hard one: I can see the tears in your eyes [she hastily wipes her eyes]: I know that you have a torrent of entreaties ready for me the moment I stop speaking; but it’s no use.You must go to another doctor.

MRS DUBEDAT But can you give me the name of another doctor who understands your secret?

RIDGEON I have no secret: I am not a quack.

MRS DUBEDAT I beg your pardon: I didnt mean to say anything wrong. I dont understand how to speak to you. Oh, pray dont be offended.

RIDGEON [again a little ashamed] There! there! never mind. [He relaxes and sits down]. After all, I’m talking nonsense: I daresay I am a quack, a quack with a qualification. But my discovery is not patented.

MRS DUBEDAT Then can any doctor cure my husband? Oh, why dont they do it? I have tried so many: I have spent so much. If only you would give me the name of another doctor.

RIDGEON Every man in this street is a doctor. But outside myself and the handful of men I am training at St Anne‘s, there is nobody as yet who has mastered the opsonin treatment. And we are full up? I’m sorry; but that is all I can say. [Rising] Good morning.

MRS DUBEDAT (suddenly and desperately taking some drawings from her portfolio] Doctor: look at these. You understand drawings : you have good ones in your waiting-room. Look at them. They are his work.

RIDGEON It’s no use my looking. [ He looks, all the same ] . Hallo! [He takes one to the window and studies it]. Yes: this is the real thing. Yes, yes. [He looks at another and returns to her]. These are very clever. Theyre unfinished, arnt they?

MRS DUBEDAT He gets tired so soon. But you see, dont you, what a genius he is? You see that he is worth saving. Oh, doctor, I married him just to help him to begin: I had money enough to tide him over the hard years at the beginning — to enable him to follow his inspiration until his genius was recognized. And I was useful to him as a model: his drawings of me sold quite quickly.

RIDGEON Have you got one?

MRS DUBEDAT [producing another] Only this one. It was the first.

RIDGEON [devouring it with his eyes] Thats a wonderful drawing. Why is it called Jennifer?

MRS DUBEDAT My name is Jennifer.

RIDGEON A strange name.

MRS DUBEDAT Not in Cornwall. I am Cornish. It’s only what you call Guinevere.

RIDGEON [repeating the names with a certain pleasure in them] Guinevere. Jennifer. [Looking again at the drawing ] Yes: it’s really a wonderful drawing. Excuse me; but may I ask is it for sale? I’ll buy it.

MRS DUBEDAT Oh, take it. It’s my own: he gave it to me. Take it. Take them all. Take everything; ask anything; but save him. You can: you will: you must.

REDPENNY [entering with every sign of alarm] Theyve just telephoned from the hospital that youre to come instantly — a patient on the point of death. The carriage is waiting.

RIDGEON [intolerantly] Oh, nonsense: get out. [Greatly annoyed] What do you mean by interrupting me like this?

REDPENNY But —

RIDGEON Chut! cant you see I’m engaged? Be off.

REDPENNY, bewildered, vanishes.

MRS DUBEDAT [rising] Doctor: one instant only before you go —

RIDGEON Sit down. It’s nothing.

MRS DUBEDAT But the patient. He said he was dying.

RIDGEON Oh, he’s dead by this time. Never mind. Sit down.

MRS DUBEDAT [sitting down and breaking down] Oh, you none of you care. You see people die every day.

RIDGEON [petting her] Nonsense! it’s nothing: I told him to come in and say that. I thought I should want to get rid of you.

MRS DUBEDAT [shocked at the falsehoodJ Oh!

RIDGEON [ continuing ] Dont look so bewildered: theres nobody dying.

MRS DUBEDAT My husband is.

RIDGEON [pulling himself together) Ah, yes: I had forgotten your husband. Mrs Dubedat: you are asking me to do a very serious thing?

MRS DUBEDAT I am asking you to save the life of a great man.

RIDGEON You are asking me to kill another man for his sake; for as surely as I undertake another case, I shall have to hand back one of the old ones to the ordinary treatment. Well, I dont shrink from that. I have had to do it before; and I will do it again if you can convince me that his life is more important than the worst life I am now saving. But you must convince me first.

MRS DUBEDAT He made those drawings; and they are not the best — nothing like the best; only I did not bring the really best: so few people like them. He is twenty-three: his whole life is before him. Wont you let me bring him to you? wont you speak to him? wont you see for yourself?

RIDGEON Is he well enough to come to a dinner at the Star and Garter at Richmond?

MRS DUBEDAT Oh yes. Why?

RIDGEON I’ll tell you. I am inviting all my old friends to a dinner to celebrate my knighthood — youve seen about it in the papers, havnt you?

MRS DUBEDAT Yes, oh yes. That was how I found out about you.

RIDGEON It will be a doctors’ dinner; and it was to have been a bachelors’ dinner. I’m a bachelor. Now if you will entertain for me, and bring your husband, he will meet me; and he will meet some of the most eminent men in my profession: Sir Patrick Cullen, Sir Ralph Bloomfield Bonington, Cutler Walpole, and others. I can put the case to them; and your husband will have to stand or fall by what we think of him. Will you come?

MRS DUBEDAT Yes, of course I will come. Oh, thank you, thank you. And may I bring some of his drawings — the really good ones?

RIDGEON Yes. I will let you know the date in the course of to-morrow. Leave me your address.

MRS DUBEDAT Thank you again and again. You have made me so happy: I know you will admire him and like him. This is my address. [She gives him her card].

RIDGEON Thank you. [He rings].

MRS DUBEDAT [embarrassed] May I — is there — should I — I mean — [she blushes and stops in confusion].

RIDGEON Whats the matter?

MRS DUBEDAT Your fee for this consultation?

RIDGEON Oh, I forgot that. Shall we say a beautiful drawing of his favorite model for the whole treatment, including the cure?

MRS DUBEDAT You are very generous. Thank you. I know you will cure him. Good-bye.