Hanif Kureishi - The Black Album

ShahidWhere are the racists, Strapper? Just point at their door and we’ll do the rest.

Strapper laughs .

StrapperYou wanna find someone who hates another race? Just knock on any door. Course I used to be a skinhead, myself.

ShahidWhat?

StrapperSupported Millwall, see. Me Black mates were always chasing me. One time they tied a noose round me neck and tried to throw me over a bridge.

Shahid drags him back into the flat. Frosty atmosphere .

ShahidThis is Strapper. Maybe he can help.

StrapperHow you doing, Trevor, mate? Respect, eh?

ChadFuck off! That’s not my truth!

StrapperJust being polite.

Chad( to Shahid ) What the fuck you bring him here for?

StrapperYou a Paki, me a delinquent. How does it feel to be a problem for this world?

Chad( pushing Strapper ) I’m a solution, not a problem! Diseases like you need sterilising.

StrapperDon’t touch me, man — I got rights too, you know.

Shahid( to Chad ) He could point out the racists — we’d seize the initiative then.

ChadHe can only point to his arse. We got our sister here to think of.

TahiraChad can be fierce when his blood races.

Brownlow rushes in .

BrownlowComrades! Any sign of the lunatics?

StrapperNot till now!

Riaz welcomes Brownlow in .

RiazWe are so happy you received the message and are able to provide support, Dr Brownlow. So many immoral people surround us here.

BrownlowGhastly — this estate! What has been done to these people! Crimes against humanity. Important to visit wastelands regularly. Lest we forget. Seeing them, one understands a lot. It’s obvious, not surprising –

RiazI beg your pardon? What is not surprising to you, Dr Brownlow, my friend?

Brownlow is leering at Tahira. She moves closer to Hat .

BrownlowThat they’re violently in love with beauty. I’ve been wading around, you know, an hour or two in Hades, lost in the foul damp. Breeding grounds of race antipathy — infecting everyone, passed on like Aids. Often wished in my adult life, that I could be r-r-religious.

RiazIt is never too late for higher wisdom.

Brownlow( apologetic ) Read Bertrand Russell at fourteen. Expect you know him, don’t you, T-T-Tariq?

ShahidMy name is Shahid.

BrownlowOf course. Does Deedee only make you watch Prince videos?

ShahidShe’s a good teacher.

BrownlowNot a patch on Russell, I bet. Put the deity in his place, Russell. Said that if He existed He would be a fool. God is man’s greatest creation. ( To Riaz .) Surely the act of believing is — of no practical use on these estates, to this class. It — it is — dishonest! Yes, d-d-dishonest! Even the lowest class must decide good and evil for themselves.

RiazPlease excuse me, but you are a little arrogant. First you ask these poor people to believe in the brotherhood of classes. Now, when your Communist dream has been shown to be just that, you set them adrift to think for themselves. You see now how Western civilisation is proving to be a hoax?

BrownlowBut this civilisation has also brought us –

StrapperDrugs, mate — and the police.

Brownlow( ignoring the interruption ) — science, psychoanalysis, a stable political culture, organised sport — at a pretty high level, mind you, e-e-except for England. And all this hand in hand with critical enquiry. Which means steely questions. And ideas. Ideas being the e-e-enemy of religion.

RiazWhy must they be? My dear Dr Brownlow, revolution everywhere has been an act of faith.

BrownlowNo — that is how the working classes have been exploited. More than any other class they must be f-f-free to think for themselves.

RiazAnd what did free thinking bring them with your Communism? The great gift we offer our poor uneducated — ( indicating Strapper ) yes, even this uneducated poor boy — is the example of our Prophet — peace be upon him! — who brought about a revolution of equality in Arabia by the simple act of belief.

BrownlowI must admit not having associated revolution with I–I-Islam. I suspect that is what F-F-Foucault discovered in the Iranian revolution in ’79.

RiazI do not know the man personally, my friend, but he sounds like a good man whose heart has been changed by simple belief. And don’t we all strive to be good?

BrownlowFoucault saw in the revolution a clear triumph of the Iranian working class.

RiazPrecisely what we can achieve here. Come now, it is time to pray. I will be your guide.

Strapper leaves. Riaz unfurls his prayer mat and kneels on it. The others clear space and follow his example. Shahid stands awkwardly by, before Hat guides him. The ‘azaan’ is heard. When they finish, Riaz sits, with the others fanned around him .

Now I am calm. So, my subject today. Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.

Laughter .

Allah in his mercy has given us another sign of his continuing magnificence, through the disease that has now taken over the West — Aids. A name through which Allah reveals his warning — Adam is definitely Satan! For it is when Adam and Steve come together that the West is shown by Allah to have cancer in its feet — those very feet that help it to stand on the necks of the poor the world over. So what should we do with Adam and Steve? When you go to hospital to meet a cancer patient, do you argue, do you shout? No, you take the person sweet grapes and bright flowers. Gentle persuasion, reciting the words of Allah as revealed in the Koran, will help Adam turn away from Steve and start looking at Eve.

Riaz’s sermon above is interrupted by a brick crashing through the window and grazing Tahira’s forehead. Hat instinctively guards and comforts Tahira. Riaz is shocked. A stream of rubbish bags and bottles, accompanied by chants of ‘Paki go home’, follows. Chad rushes out, brandishing a cleaver, followed by Shahid. A Young Man with two others can be seen with bricks in their hands. The two racists scarper at the sight of Chad, while the Young Man is momentarily too stunned to move. Chad floors him and is about to hack at him with the cleaver when he is stopped by Shahid .

Shahid( to Chad ) No, Chad! No!

Young Man( spits at them ) Paki! Paki! Paki!

Shahid( to the Young Man ) What the fuck has this family ever done to you? Have they come to your house? Abused you? Thrown stones? Did they make you live in these stinking flats?

Young Man( grows more venomous ) Paki! Paki! Paki! You stolen our jobs! Taken our housing! Paki got everything! Give it back and go back home!

ChadCome here again and I’ll hack your head off in the halal way!

He swings his cleaver down powerfully and the Young Man scarpers .

( To Shahid .) Thanks, brother. If you hadn’t held me back, I might have done something powerful, you know.

Riaz comes up behind the boys, with Tahira, Hat, Brownlow in tow .

RiazIt takes courage to hold back. In the fierce heat of battle, you kept your head, Shahid. The true mark of a leader.