Hanif Kureishi - The Black Album

ChiliYou shitting me?

ShahidNo, I swear, Chili. I wore it to impress her up, like you said.

Chili( suddenly hugging him ) I’m proud of you, baby bro. Papa will be smiling up in paradise.

ShahidBusiness okay?

ChiliWhy?

ShahidI may not get back tonight –

ChiliStill haven’t told me what shit you’re getting into.

ShahidI’ve got to rush — they’ll be waiting …

Chili( fierce ) I’m your brother, for Christ sakes!

ShahidI’m helping some people out, that’s all. It’s a charity thing.

Chili( dismissive ) Charity! You’re still a baby, bro. There’s only one thing that matters in the world, that’s number one and money. Got myself a partner to keep an eye out for supplies while I meet demands of my varied customers.

ShahidWhat work are you really doing? Zulma came round.

ChiliWhat you tell her?

ShahidYou were at friends playing poker.

ChiliGood boy!

ShahidShe chuck you out?

ChiliTemporary loss of facilities, as they say in the trade.

ShahidYou’re the golden couple of Sevenoaks.

Chili laughs .

( Insistent .) Go home.

ChiliYou can’t never go back home.

ShahidRing Ammi at least.

Chili( admonishing ) Don’t they teach you respect at college?

ShahidI’ve got to go.

He leaves Chili looking around the room. Chili sees the copy of The Satanic Verses, flicks through it nonchalantly, then shuts the book and lays out a line of coke. After snorting, stuffs his remaining stash in the book and puts it away carefully .

Music, as Shahid and the gang, carrying rucksacks, make their way to the East End flat .

A high-rise flat in the East End. Night. The gang tip out knives, cleavers, etc. from the rucksacks they’ve been carrying .

ChadWeapons training.

Chad demonstrates, to the accompaniment of rousing quwaali music from his boom box. Shahid, Hat and Tahira go through a drill. Chad starts to weep .

ShahidWhat’s wrong, Chad?

ChadI’m moved by my people’s suffering. Can’t keep it together.

ShahidIf you keep blubbing, the old man is not going to have much confidence in us.

ChadYou’re right. ( Blows his nose .) You stubborn but sensible. We here to defend the man terrorised by racists. Bring ’em on! United in defence of West Compton Estate!

They finish their drill. Tahira clears a study area for Hat as the guys lounge after the work-out. Shahid looks to slip away but Chad holds him back .

( To Shahid, watching Tahira at work .) This great sister here, Tahira, she been with us from day one. Riaz like a father to her. Her old man threw her out because she wanted her mum and sisters to cover up.

TahiraPark yourself here, Hat.

HatTa, Tahira.

He moves to the space Tahira’s cleared for him, takes out his books from his duffel bag and starts on his homework. Tahira sits with the others .

Tahira( to Shahid ) Hat always studying. His father — he’s putting too much pressure on him to be an accountant.

ShahidHe’s here with us tonight.

TahiraBut the father thinks Hat visiting his auntie in Sunderland today.

ChadHe think we stopping Hat being an accountant. But we ain’t. We only say accountants have to meet many women. And shake hands with them. They expected, too, to take alcohol every day and get involved in interest payments. We not sure Hat won’t feel left out, you know?

TahiraAnd you’re expected to take drugs in the City. And meet strippers at lunchtime. Chad, could you close your legs, please?

Chad brings his knees together .

TahiraI see you like wearing tight trousers.

ChadI do, yes.

TahiraCan’t you wear something looser? We have to look modest. Think it’s easy wearing the hijab? Yesterday a man on the street ripped my scarf off and shouted, ‘This is England, not Arabia.’

Chad( sheepish, looking at Shahid ) I’ve been looking out for some Oxford bags for a while.

TahiraThat will be progress. And aren’t you thinking of growing a beard? Look at Hat, his is really coming on now. ( Feeling Shahid’s smooth-shaven chin .) Even Shahid has got something bushy on the way.

ChadMy skin needs breathing space, otherwise I develop an itchy rash.

TahiraVanity should be the least of your concerns.

Chad( to Shahid ) I’ll put something bushy in your face if you don’t stop smirkin’!

ShahidSorry, brother. How long is this vigil going to last?

ChadCould be days, you know — them racists sometimes clever.

ShahidI have to go off for a few hours — family business.

Just as Shahid is about to leave, Riaz enters, wearing the red Paul Smith shirt and jeans. The gang stare at him .

ChadAll present, brother Riaz.

RiazI am very happy you are with us, Shahid.

Shahid( appraising Riaz ) Suits you.

Riaz is puzzled. Chad steps in to explain .

Chad( to Riaz ) Your clothes needed washing, brother. Shahid lent his shirt and trousers. ( With pride .) Brother Riaz look smart, eh!

RiazThank you. Thank you. ( Diffident .) I just picked up what I saw on my chair — fashion passes by me.

TahiraYou look like a general.

ChadOr a chairman. When the racists see the brothers strong, they whimper like dogs with tails between their legs!

RiazTime for prayers.

There is a loud bang on the door. Startled, they pick up their weapons, as Chad pushes Shahid forward .

ChadCheck it out. Don’t fear — you reinforced up!

Shahid opens the door and sees an eager Strapper, looking around curiously .

StrapperWant anything?

ShahidWhat?

StrapperSkunk, trips, E? Don’t worry, all the Pakibusters are indoors watching the match.

ShahidShow us where they live, then. You know who they are.

StrapperWhat’re you gonna do, burn them out? I can fire places up, if you like.

ShahidWho are you?

StrapperStrapper. An Asian family left their flat and I’m squatting here for my business.

ShahidWhat business?

StrapperYou name it, man, I’ve had experience of it. Police, courts, kids’ homes, rehabilitation centres, social workers. I tell you, Blacks and Pakis, the people put down, and outside, they generous and loving. My partner — he a Paki like you — he takes me to all kinds of hip apartments in his cool car, full of birds. Keeps saying this place’s too small for him. If you’re not buying nothing, I gotta swing over to him in north London — our new base of operations!