Christa Schroeder - He Was My Chief - The Memoirs of Adolf Hitler's Secretary

Viktoria von Dirksen ran a political saloon in which Hitler was often centre-stage. In later years in the Staircase Room he would make remarks about the invitations and say: ‘I felt there like an exotic zoo animal, peered at curiously by everybody as an attraction.’ At this time he was probably still enjoying the invitations of Her Excellence. He was pleased by her pretty niece and took a few steps in her direction, saying something like ‘Here comes my sunshine’ or ‘The sun is rising’, I cannot be sure any more. In any case, his attraction to Sigrid von Laffert could not be missed, and neither could it be hidden from Eva Braun in Munich.

Hitler’s clothing was purely functional. He hated trying things on. Since he made lively hand and arm movements to emphasise points he was making in his speeches, and also liked to extend his body while strolling in conversation, especially when the subject was one which excited him and which he did mainly by raising the right shoulder, he had an aversion to a close fit. His tailor [45] Hitler’s wardrobe came almost exclusively from the Wilhelm Holter’s gentleman’s outfitters on Wilhelm-Strasse 49, Berlin. had to shape all uniforms and suits for comfort in this regard. This occasional raising of the right shoulder may have been due to the left shoulder being stiff. During the putsch of 9 November 1923 Hitler fell to the pavement, dislocating his left shoulder. Dr Walter Schultze, husband of Ada Klein and leader of the SA medical corps, could not convince Hitler to have it X-rayed. Hitler feared being ‘bumped off’ at the hospital. The shoulder was therefore never properly fixed and remained stiff ever afterwards, which I often had cause to notice.

Although with this slightly lop-sided posture and ample jacket Hitler did not exactly cut an elegant figure, he still commanded respect. As soon as he entered a room everybody present would notice him. Looking back this seems to have been because he never hurried. His manner of walking was always measured, almost ceremonial, when he went to greet somebody. This tended to induce in the other person a feeling of uncertainty, for it contrasted with the free and unforced approach one expected. Hitler had always to be the controller! He mentioned frequently for example: ‘how uncertain it made visitors to the new Reich Chancellery to have to cross the long marble hall, polished like a mirror, and then traverse his large study to get to his desk’.

I found his eyes expressive. They looked mostly as if interested and searching, and became increasingly animated during conversation. They could look friendly and warm-hearted, or express indignation, indifference and disgust. In the last months of the war they lost expressiveness and became a more watery, pale light blue, and rather bulging.

One could always tell his mood from his voice. It could be unusually calm, clear, exact and convincing, but also excited increasing in volume and overwhelming in aggression. Often it would be ice-cold. ‘Ice-cold’, or ‘Now I am ice-cold’ were much-used phrases of his. ‘I am totally indifferent to what the future will think of the methods which I have to use,’ I heard frequently. ‘Ruthless’ ( rücksichtslos ) was common in his vocabulary: ‘Force it through ruthlessly, whatever the cost!’ Other phrases to crop up a lot were ‘with brute force!’ and ‘with brutal energy!’, and in conclusion, ‘simply idiotic!’

Hitler’s nose was very large and fairly pointed. I do not know whether his teeth were ever very attractive, but by 1945 they were yellow and he had bad breath. He had wisely grown a small moustache to cover up his very thin lips. During the years of his friendship with Ada Klein [46] See Chapter 10. he told her: ‘Many people say I should shave off the moustache, but that is impossible. Imagine my face without a moustache!’ and at that held his hand below his nose like a plate. ‘My nose is much too big. I need the moustache to relieve the effect!’

I liked his hands, either in motion or at rest. They were not manicured, but had a cared-for look with their short nails. Over the years the joints got increasingly thicker. During a flight a photographer, perhaps Heinrich Hoffmann himself, took a very fine photograph showing Hitler’s hands on the armrest of his seat. Hitler never wore personal jewellery. Even his gold watch he carried loose in his jacket pocket. It was always a few minutes fast so that he arrived at meetings and conferences punctually. He doubted the reliability of his waiters and adjutants although he was perpetually asking them for the time.

From 1933 Hitler avoided personal contact with money which seemed in some way repugnant to him. His adjutant Schaub would settle everything. Before 1933 he carried a wallet and put loose coins in his jacket pocket. According to Ada Klein, when paying off a taxi he would always give a big tip ‘almost equivalent to the fare’. She repeated his often-expressed conviction: ‘Rich people are tight, they spare on tips!’

It amused Hitler that there were men always looking for new ties. ‘When I saw a tie I liked, I would buy several of the same kind,’ he said once. Later he only ever wore black ties, to go with the uniform. He placed no value on having a variety of dress styles. He rarely spoke on fashion, although he could deliver a surprising commentary on a dress and pay compliments to the lady wearing it. He would go to town on certain dress crazes, such as shoes with cork soles, but I am convinced it was all done for some purpose or other. I often heard him say in admiration to Eva Braun: ‘Ah, you are wearing a new dress!’ and she would reply indignantly: ‘Oh, come on, you’ve seen it before, I’ve worn it often enough.’

Hitler set great store on hygiene. He bathed daily, often several times a day, particularly after meetings and speeches, from which he would return sweating. His skin was very soft. Probably he always shaved himself. A manservant would not have been called upon to do much for him. At the beginning of the 1930s his clothing was sent to a large Berlin laundry which would put pins into the upper part of the shirts to retain their shape. Hitler rarely had occasion to remonstrate with his servants, but when he did he could be very angry, as when Karl Krause forgot to take out the pins from his shirts one day.

Hitler was very strong-willed. During the 1933 Nuremberg rally I was summoned there and ordered to the Deutscher Hof Hotel where Hitler dictated to Johanna Wolf and myself that night the speeches he delivered next day. We watched from the hotel window as Hitler saluted the march past by the SA, SS and RAD (Reich Work Service). I was surprised that he could stand for hours at a stretch with his arm extended. During a tea hour he revealed that he had ‘done daily training with an expander’, but that ‘a strong will’ was also needed. Additionally he would always try to look every man in the eye to give him the feeling that the Führer had seen him. Often one actually heard it said: ‘The Führer saw me, he looked into my eyes.’

One must mention that Hitler did no sport. He did not like horses and hated snow (especially after the winter of 1941), and sunshine made him feel bad. He did not like the sun and had bought the Berghof precisely because it was situated on the north side of the Obersalzberg. The house was in shadow all day, and the thick walls made sure no warmth got through from outside. Even in summer it was unusually cool, and cold when it rained. Hitler loved this cold, although his guests found it unpleasant. He was afraid of water. I do not believe he could swim. [47] According to Kubizek, Adolf Hitler◦– Mein Jugendfreund , Leopold Stocker Verlag 2002, p.34, Hitler was a ‘tolerably good swimmer’ and one day dived into the river Rodel to save Kubizek’s mother from drowning after she slipped from a rock. (TN) One day he told me: ‘The movements a person makes while at his daily work is enough to keep his body in shape.’