Bill Bryson - A short history of nearly everything

Even less comfortably susceptible to categorization was the peculiar group of organisms formally called myxomycetes but more commonly known as slime molds. The name no doubt has much to do with their obscurity. An appellation that sounded a little more dynamic-“ambulant self-activating protoplasm,” say-and less like the stuff you find when you reach deep into a clogged drain would almost certainly have earned these extraordinary entities a more immediate share of the attention they deserve, for slime molds are, make no mistake, among the most interesting organisms in nature. When times are good, they exist as one-celled individuals, much like amoebas. But when conditions grow tough, they crawl to a central gathering place and become, almost miraculously, a slug. The slug is not a thing of beauty and it doesn’t go terribly far-usually just from the bottom of a pile of leaf litter to the top, where it is in a slightly more exposed position-but for millions of years this may well have been the niftiest trick in the universe.

And it doesn’t stop there. Having hauled itself up to a more favorable locale, the slime mold transforms itself yet again, taking on the form of a plant. By some curious orderly process the cells reconfigure, like the members of a tiny marching band, to make a stalk atop of which forms a bulb known as a fruiting body. Inside the fruiting body are millions of spores that, at the appropriate moment, are released to the wind to blow away and become single-celled organisms that can start the process again.

For years slime molds were claimed as protozoa by zoologists and as fungi by mycologists, though most people could see they didn’t really belong anywhere. When genetic testing arrived, people in lab coats were surprised to find that slime molds were so distinctive and peculiar that they weren’t directly related to anything else in nature, and sometimes not even to each other.

In 1969, in an attempt to bring some order to the growing inadequacies of classification, an ecologist from Cornell University named R. H. Whittaker unveiled in the journal Science a proposal to divide life into five principal branches-kingdoms, as they are known-called Animalia, Plantae, Fungi, Protista, and Monera. Protista, was a modification of an earlier term, Protoctista , which had been suggested a century earlier by a Scottish biologist named John Hogg, and was meant to describe any organisms that were neither plant nor animal.

Though Whittaker’s new scheme was a great improvement, Protista remained ill defined. Some taxonomists reserved it for large unicellular organisms-the eukaryotes-but others treated it as the kind of odd sock drawer of biology, putting into it anything that didn’t fit anywhere else. It included (depending on which text you consulted) slime molds, amoebas, and even seaweed, among much else. By one calculation it contained as many as 200,000 different species of organism all told. That’s a lot of odd socks.

Ironically, just as Whittaker’s five-kingdom classification was beginning to find its way into textbooks, a retiring academic at the University of Illinois was groping his way toward a discovery that would challenge everything. His name was Carl Woese (rhymes with rose), and since the mid-1960s-or about as early as it was possible to do so-he had been quietly studying genetic sequences in bacteria. In the early days, this was an exceedingly painstaking process. Work on a single bacterium could easily consume a year. At that time, according to Woese, only about 500 species of bacteria were known, which is fewer than the number of species you have in your mouth. Today the number is about ten times that, though that is still far short of the 26,900 species of algae, 70,000 of fungi, and 30,800 of amoebas and related organisms whose biographies fill the annals of biology.

It isn’t simple indifference that keeps the total low. Bacteria can be exasperatingly difficult to isolate and study. Only about 1 percent will grow in culture. Considering how wildly adaptable they are in nature, it is an odd fact that the one place they seem not to wish to live is a petri dish. Plop them on a bed of agar and pamper them as you will, and most will just lie there, declining every inducement to bloom. Any bacterium that thrives in a lab is by definition exceptional, and yet these were, almost exclusively, the organisms studied by microbiologists. It was, said Woese, “like learning about animals from visiting zoos.”

Genes, however, allowed Woese to approach microorganisms from another angle. As he worked, Woese realized that there were more fundamental divisions in the microbial world than anyone suspected. A lot of little organisms that looked like bacteria and behaved like bacteria were actually something else altogether-something that had branched off from bacteria a long time ago. Woese called these organisms archaebacteria, later shortened to archaea.

It has be said that the attributes that distinguish archaea from bacteria are not the sort that would quicken the pulse of any but a biologist. They are mostly differences in their lipids and an absence of something called peptidoglycan. But in practice they make a world of difference. Archaeans are more different from bacteria than you and I are from a crab or spider. Singlehandedly Woese had discovered an unsuspected division of life, so fundamental that it stood above the level of kingdom at the apogee of the Universal Tree of Life, as it is rather reverentially known.

In 1976, he startled the world-or at least the little bit of it that was paying attention-by redrawing the tree of life to incorporate not five main divisions, but twenty-three. These he grouped under three new principal categories-Bacteria, Archaea, and Eukarya (sometimes spelled Eucarya)-which he called domains.

Woese’s new divisions did not take the biological world by storm. Some dismissed them as much too heavily weighted toward the microbial. Many just ignored them. Woese, according to Frances Ashcroft, “felt bitterly disappointed.” But slowly his new scheme began to catch on among microbiologists. Botanists and zoologists were much slower to admire its virtues. It’s not hard to see why. On Woese’s model, the worlds of botany and zoology are relegated to a few twigs on the outermost branch of the Eukaryan limb. Everything else belongs to unicellular beings.

“These folks were brought up to classify in terms of gross morphological similarities and differences,” Woese told an interviewer in 1996. “The idea of doing so in terms of molecular sequence is a bit hard for many of them to swallow.” In short, if they couldn’t see a difference with their own eyes, they didn’t like it. And so they persisted with the traditional five-kingdom division-an arrangement that Woese called “not very useful” in his milder moments and “positively misleading” much of the rest of the time. “Biology, like physics before it,” Woese wrote, “has moved to a level where the objects of interest and their interactions often cannot be perceived through direct observation.”

In 1998 the great and ancient Harvard zoologist Ernst Mayr (who then was in his ninety-fourth year and at the time of my writing is nearing one hundred and still going strong) stirred the pot further by declaring that there should be just two prime divisions of life-“empires” he called them. In a paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences , Mayr said that Woese’s findings were interesting but ultimately misguided, noting that “Woese was not trained as a biologist and quite naturally does not have an extensive familiarity with the principles of classification,” which is perhaps as close as one distinguished scientist can come to saying of another that he doesn’t know what he is talking about.