Jennifer Crusie - The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

Marriage to a man like this would strip Lizzie’s powers from her and leave her as ordinary as he was. He really ought to encourage her to marry this idiot and abandon her abilities. Safer for everyone.

‘Charles, I really can’t talk about this now,’ she said. ‘I’m working on something-

‘Those silly experiments? Honestly, Lizzie, you need to grow out of that – it’s time for you to settle down,’ he said with exasperated, condescending affection. ‘The sooner we get married the sooner you can put all that silly stuff behind you.’

No, Elric really didn’t like Charles, and the fact that he was temporarily engaged to the woman in front of him surely had nothing to do with it.

‘I don’t want to argue, Charles. I haven’t had a chance to talk to my sisters – something came up this morning – but I promise as soon as they come home I’ll tell them about our engagement and see if the date works for them. And it’s not that they don’t like you – they don’t know you. I’m just worried they’ll think it too soon – we’ve only been seeing each other for a few weeks.’

‘I’m a man who makes up his mind,’ he said, smug. ‘I took one look at you and knew you’d make the perfect wife.’

‘Fine. In the meantime I need to-’

‘Is someone here?’ Charles demanded, suddenly suspicious.

‘No,’ she said quickly. ‘I’m just trying to get some work done.’

But Charles had already shoved past her, and Elric moved out of the way so Charles wouldn’t run into him. Someone like Charles would never see him, but even Elric couldn’t make his corporeal form disappear.

Lizzie went racing after Charles into the kitchen, then came to a halt, doubt and confusion on her face. She glanced behind her, looking directly at Elric without seeing him, but for a moment her gaze narrowed, and he wondered if it was possible for her to look past the veil he’d put up. No, she was too young, too untried, and he was too good. But that moment of uncertainty in her blue eyes had been unnerving.

She turned back, and he could see her shoulders relax. ‘No one’s here, Charles. Don’t you need to be at work?’

‘If we’re alone in the house maybe we could go into your bedroom…’

Lizzie’s aversion was so strong it cut through his own illogical fury. ‘I don’t think so,’ she said, taking his arm and pulling him toward the door.

‘And you certainly don’t want me watching,’ he whispered in her ear. She jumped, banging her elbow against the doorframe.

Charles was already at the door, dutifully enough. ‘What did you say?’

‘Nothing,’ she said, rubbing her elbow. ‘I just said you ought to get to work.’

‘I thought you whispered something.’

‘Why would I do that?’

Charles, totally without imagination, shrugged. ‘You sure you’re alone?’

‘Do you want to check my bedroom?’

‘Not a good idea,’ Elric whispered.

‘There it is again!’ Charles said. ‘That whispering sound.’

‘It’s the wind,’ she said. ‘There’s a storm coming. You need to get back to work.’

‘I need to get back to work,’ Charles said. He leaned forward and kissed her, a closed-mouth, possessive kiss on Lizzie’s soft mouth, and Elric decided he hated him. Intensely.

‘You’ll call me tomorrow,’ Lizzie said in the same dulcet tone.

‘I’ll call you tomorrow,’ Charles said, again as if he’d just thought of it himself. Miss Lizzie had more skills than Elric had realized. What else was she hiding?

He waited until the door was closed behind Charles, waited until he heard the sound of his car drive away, and then he dropped the veil, and Lizzie jumped.

‘You do that again,’ she said, ‘and I’ll… make you wish you’d never come here.’

It was too late for that. He looked at Lizzie’s badly kissed mouth, and wondered just how much trouble he was in.

Mare pounded the streets of Salem’s Fork in her blue running shorts, trying to obliterate the morning from her memory. Her argument with Dee was easy to evict, she’d been ignoring Dee’s arguments for years, but that coppery, dusty, sunny dream stayed with her, which was ridiculous. She did not miss Christopher Duncan in the slightest. Crash. What kind of a man had a nickname like that? Especially a guy who rode a motorcycle; there was a vote of confidence for you.

She turned up the path to the top of the mountain and the circle of stones the locals called ‘the Big Rocks’ with ‘the Great Big Rock’ in the center. That was a mistake; she and Crash had made love up there at least a thousand times, maybe more, although they’d only been together for two years, so maybe not, but it had been wonderful. The thought of him made her dizzy now, so when she ran back down the mountain she was in a lousy mood. Stopping at the Greasy Fork diner for a doughnut and orange juice, and having Pauline the waitress point out that eating a doughnut wasn’t good for her, did not improve her morning. Running past Mother’s Tattoos and seeing Mother wave at her gave her the warm wash of peace Mother always did, so that was something, but getting home and hearing Lizzie talking to herself in her workroom and not getting a chance to apologize to her for being snippy at breakfast was awful.

What is it with the universe this morning? Mare thought. First with the dust and the daydream and now with the general thwarting. She shook her head and went to shower and then changed into the white overalls she’d painted with the Anti-Pesto logo from The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, put on her black-rimmed, pink-lensed, heart-shaped sunglasses, and then walked the quarter mile to the red plastic wonders of Value Video!!, where things were going to go her way. Or else.

‘Hello, Mare!’ Dreama, their little blond counter clerk, sang out as Mare stormed in. ‘Ooooooh, the coveralls look good! Nice job on the Anti-Pesto logo!’

‘Thank you.’ Mare slammed her bag on the counter. ‘The universe is behaving badly, so I will be making adjustments.’ Then she smiled at Dreama. ‘You, however, are always good. How’s my favorite apprentice?’

‘I’m fine, thank you, Mare,’ Dreama said, straightening her baby-blue sweater, her ponytail bobbing.

‘Not fine,’ Mare said.

Dreama winced. ‘I’m glorious, thank you, Mare.’

‘Damn straight.’ Mare patted her shoulder. ‘So, what’s new at Value Video!!?’

Dreama leaned forward. ‘There’s this gorgeous guy in the office with William.’

Mare thought, Crash, and then mentally slapped herself. She had no idea where Crash Duncan was, but she was positive he wasn’t in the manager’s office in the Salem’s Fork Value Video!!

Dreama jerked her head at the door that said manager in gold stick-on letters, her round face wide-eyed. ‘He’s a vice president from headquarters.’

Mare tilted her head and thought about it. Crash had been gone for a while. There was an off chance he could have made it big and come back as a Value Video!! VP. It didn’t seem like him, but still…

Dreama leaned still closer, her pouty lips parted in wonder. ‘I think they heard about William trying to off himself

‘William was not trying to off himself.’ Mare frowned at the door, aware of the new threat. ‘What does the head office want with William? He didn’t try to hang himself in front of the customers.’ Of course, if the VP was Crash, it wasn’t a problem. She could take care of Crash.

‘The VP looks just like Jude Law.’ Dreama sighed, obviously dazzled.

‘Oh,’ Mare said, fighting her disappointment. Crash didn’t look like Jude Law. Crash looked like a really good-looking biker. Of course, there had never been any chance the VP was Crash. That had been dumb-