Jennifer Crusie - The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes

‘Because that’s really what we’re selling here,’ Mare said. ‘Emotional catharsis, vicarious release. You want to experience the hell of war without getting killed? We have “Movies Your Recruiter Doesn’t Want You to See.” You want to know what it’s like to fall in love without having to get a background check on the person you’re dating? We got “Bad Dates Gone Good.” You want to know-’

‘Right,’ Jude said. ‘That’s all very interesting.’

‘I’ve been doing this for a while, Jude. Our sales are up. William was really happy about that. I think that’s why he used such thin rope. He knew there were good times ahead.’ She leaned back against the counter. ‘I can’t believe the central office sent you down here because William had one bad day.’

‘They didn’t.’

Jude opened his mouth to go on and Mare braced herself for whatever was coming next, but then the door opened again and Algy came in, looking furtive.

‘Back with you in a minute,’ Mare said to Jude, and turned to face Algy. ‘Have you reconsidered your choice, grasshopper?’

‘Why do you keep calling me that?’ Algy said. Mare sighed. ‘What do you want?’

Algy leaned over the counter, looking around to make sure he wasn’t overheard. ‘What kind of movies do chicks like?’

‘Luckily for you, I have a list.’ Mare reached under the counter for her accordion file of recommendations and flipped through it until she found one that was headed ‘Movies Girls Like.’ She pulled it out and handed it to him. ‘Of course it depends on the girl. But I have it broken down into the most common stereotypes.’

Algy squinted at the list. ‘Yeah. This is good.’

‘And I’m pretty sure that if you reserve it now, the love seat is still open for the six-thirty show. If you know a girl, I mean.’

‘I know a girl,’ Algy said, looking first outraged, then thoughtful. ‘Yeah. Put me down for that.’

Mare handed him the clipboard. ‘Put yourself down.’

Algy filled out the clipboard and handed it back.’ He’d left the space for the other name blank. Probably a good idea until he’d found somebody to say yes.

‘You have chosen wisely,’ Mare intoned, and when Algy frowned at her, she said, ‘That’s from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.’

Algy looked confused again. So did Jude.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ Mare said. ‘Just remember: no Girls Gone Wild. Ever.’

‘Right.’ Algy folded up his list and stuffed it in his pocket. ‘Thanks.’ He leaned closer. ‘Don’t tell Shawn.’

‘Wouldn’t dream of it.’ Mare stashed her recommendations folder under the counter again as the door closed behind Algy. Then she turned back to Jude.

‘That’s amazing,’ he said. ‘You are unstoppable.’

I know.’

‘Dreama said you were Queen of the Universe, but I thought she was joking.’

‘She wasn’t. So why are you here exactly?’

He flashed his smile at her, and she saw how attractive he was, now that he wasn’t criticizing the place. ‘The head office sent me down because your sales have consistently been the highest in the area even though you have a relatively small customer base.’ He stepped closer. I’m assuming that’s because of you.’

‘And William,’ Mare said. ‘So we’re doing good. That’s great. Thanks for stopping by to tell us. Anything else’?’ Like a raise?

‘Oh, yes.’ He flashed his movie-star smile again. ‘I was sent to find out why the store was thriving and I think I have.’ He held out his hand. ‘Congratulations, Miss O’Brien. You are now the new manager of Salem’s Value Video!! Your salary will, of course, double.’

He went on but his words faded as the dusty Tuscan sunlight swirled into the store in a cloud of coppery dust and that damn baby laughed again and Mare felt the whole place swing around her, and she said, ‘No.’

Jude stopped. ‘No?’

Mare swallowed. ‘No.’ She put her hand out to the counter, her whole world unsteady, thinking, Tell him yes, you idiot, it’s a raise, but she knew she didn’t want it, clear as that sunshine. ‘No, thank you, no, I don’t want to be manager.’

Jude blinked slowly, his eyelids moving like shutters. ‘Was it the part where I said you’d have to behave normally, no funny stuff?’

‘No,’ Mare said, surprised. ‘I missed that part. What happened to William?’

‘We feel William will be happier in another line of work.’

‘No.’ Mare took a deep breath, surer every time she said it. ‘No, no, no.’ She took a step back and bumped her butt into the counter, knocking off a pencil and letting it roll to the floor. ‘We need William here. He’s the voice of reason. He does math. We need William as manager. I refuse to be manager. Go back in that office and tell William he still has a job.’

Jude picked up the pencil and handed it to her. ‘Miss O’Brien… may I call you Mare?’

Mare repressed an exasperated sigh. ‘Sure, Jude.’

‘Mare, I realize that some women have a fear of success-’

‘I’m not afraid of success. I embrace success. Success and I are practically twin souls. I just don’t want to manage a video store. Where’s the fun in that?’ As soon as she said it, she knew it was true.

‘Well, this.’ Jude gestured to the promotional displays.

‘Yes, but if I’m manager I have to have somebody else do that while I do the ordering and the books and all the dull gray dead stuff. No. No, no, no. Go tell William he’s manager again. I’ll wait here.’ Mare folded her arms and stared at him. ‘Go on.’

‘Well…’ Jude leaned against the counter, closer to her, smelling faintly of good, expensive cologne. He had a really large Adam’s apple, but on the other hand, his suit was very good. You couldn’t have everything. ‘There is another possibility’

‘William is still the manager.’

‘Yes, fine, William’s the manager,’ Jude said. ‘But I’m really intrigued by your displays. I think other stores in the chain could benefit from your imagination. Would you be open to working in the promotions department at the head office in New York City?’

‘You’re kidding.’ Mare frowned. ‘The promotions are designed in New York? You’d think they’d be more creative there. Greatest city in the world and their idea of a hot promotion is Two for One Tuesdays? Jeez.’

‘That’s why they need you,’ Jude said. ‘I can arrange for you to work outside the department, be your own boss. I get the feeling you don’t respond well to authority’

‘Authority has never responded well to me.’ Mare stared off into space for a moment, considering this new possibility. ‘New York. Huh. That could be good. The Statue of Liberty. I’ve always considered her a kindred spirit. Maybe…’ The dusty Tuscan sun tried to swirl in again, but she kicked its ass out of her frontal lobe. She had a real life to live here. And pay for.

‘Uh, well, that’s good,’ Jude said, clearly lost. He polished his tie tack with his finger for a moment and then he cleared his throat. ‘It’s Friday, so it’s going to take me a while to pursue this, I’ll have to make some calls, but can I say that you would be interested in relocating to New York?’

Mare almost said yes, and then remembered Dee and Lizzie. Would they like New York? Art museums for Dee, the New York Library for Lizzie, lots of anonymity, a good place to hide from Xan. It could work. ‘I’ll have to ask my sisters.’

‘For permission? Surely you’re old enough to make this decision on your own.’

‘To see if they want to move,’ Mare said. ‘We stick together’ We have to. We have strange and unusual powers, Jude. Lizzie could change you into a toad before you could polish your Rolex. ‘But I’m interested, yes. Go ahead and make your calls. And tell William he’s still the manager.’