Janet Evanovich - The Grand Finale

“I don’t know. My mind is numb.”

“Good thing you only have one more exam.”

“Yeah, good thing.” Her attention was diverted by a yelp from the corner of the small restaurant area. “Jane!”

The little black dog was confined in a playpen. She hopped up and down at the sight of Berry. She wagged her tail and made excited puppy sounds and rolled on the plastic playpen mat.

Berry rushed over and hugged Jane. “She remembers me. She’s so smart!”

“Not only is she smart, but she’s also empty, if you know what I mean.”

“What a good dog.” Berry laid her cheek against the silky black head. “It was so clever of you to get rid of that ring.”

Jake delivered a salad and a hamburger to the table nearest the playpen. “Come here, Goldilocks. I made you some supper, and then you’re excused to go upstairs and study.”

“Yum, I’m famished.” She plopped the puppy back into the playpen.

“No more upset stomachs?”

“Nope. All gone. I’m fine. Never been better in my whole life.”

Jake stiffened. “Great. I suppose that makes you real happy.”

“Yup.” She munched on a carrot stick and watched Jane attack a rope dog bone.

He gave it his best shot, Jake thought, but in the end she had to get rid of the ring to feel good. And he was almost out of time. He was hopelessly in love and he was running out of time.

“This playpen is a great idea,” Berry said.

“I borrowed it from my sister. She’s one of those family-type people.”

Now what? Berry wondered. All of a sudden he sounds absolutely cranky. She ate the last bite of hamburger and stabbed a lone chunk of raw broccoli from her salad bowl. “Well, that was terrific. Guess I’ll go hit the books now.”

Jake bent over a wad of pizza dough. Whump. He smacked it with the rolling pin.

Wow, Berry thought, I’ve never seen him whack pizza dough around like that. Maybe he’s cracking under the strain of fatherhood. Maybe he isn’t ready to have puppies. Boy, wouldn’t that be the pits? Here I am all set to go off and start researching baby food, and Jake gets cold feet. Well, if that’s the problem, we’ll work it out together. We’re a team. She smiled at a scowling Jake and hummed as she went through the door.

Several hours later Berry was startled out of her studying by stomping and thumping on the stairs. Jake swung the collapsed playpen around the corner and unceremoniously tumbled a squirming puppy onto the rug. “Damn, I didn’t think I was going to make it. This dog didn’t want to hold still.”

Berry closed her economics book and stood at her seat by the table. He was still cranky. Can’t blame him, she decided. He’s had a long day. Up at five to help me study. Worked making pizza for twelve hours. And somewhere in between he’s had to be responsible for Jane.

Rrrrf , Jane squeaked, running in circles, chasing her tail.

Well, all that was about to end, Berry thought. He could relax now. She’d take care of Jane. She’d show him they could be a team and raise puppies by the hundreds. She grabbed Jane and kissed the top of her head. “Has the puppy eaten?”

“She had a pepperoni pizza at about seven.”

“Is she allowed to eat that? I mean isn’t she on a special diet after her ordeal?”

Jake gave her a black look. “I let her run around loose as a special treat, and she ate some guy’s pizza when he went to the John.”

“Oh, dear.”

“She even ate his napkin.”

“Anything else I should know about? How’s her stomach?”

“Her stomach’s fine. How’s your stomach?”

Obviously he didn’t want to talk about the dog. “My stomach’s okay.”

“Humph.” He slouched onto a kitchen chair and turned his attention to the newspaper.

Humph? What kind of an answer was humph? How was she supposed to make conversation with a man that said humph and then pressed his nose into the sports page? She had to tell him about success and failure and commitment. She was ready for all that stuff. More than ready-practically panting. Marriage would be wonderful this time. She looked at Jake and thought her heart would burst. Lord, she loved him. Allen had been a roommate. Jake was her friend, her lover, her helpmate, her hero. She hugged herself and twirled around as she went to the kitchen to fill a water bowl for the puppy.

Jake squinted at her antics over the top of his paper. “Humph,” he mumbled, rattling the funnies.

Berry glared down at him. “What’s all this humph?”

“It’s nothing,” he said. “I’m just happy to see you so happy.”

“Do you know what would make me really happy? Going to bed. Are you coming with me?”

Jake stayed hidden behind his paper.

“Okay,” Berry said. “I’m going to take that as a yes. I’m going to take a nice long, soapy shower and then I’m going to take my overheated naked body to bed.”

Thirty minutes later, Berry was in bed alone and her overheated naked body was cooling off fast. Now what? Where the heck was he? She rolled out of bed and stomped out to the darkened living room.

When her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she blinked in disbelief at the inert form stretched out on the floor. Jake was asleep! Berry stood openmouthed, listening to his gentle regular breathing, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest. The puppy slept beside him, curled into a ball, tucked securely under his left armpit. Adorable, she thought. And all done in. Obviously they’d both had an exhausting day. She tucked a quilt around them and went to bed. She shut off the lamp on her nightstand. She watched the minutes change on her digital clock. She watched the lights of passing cars reflect on her window shade. She picked the nail polish off her index finger.

“I can’t sleep,” she groaned. “I’m in lust.”

Okay, we’ll do this scientifically. Relax toes. Relax ankles. Relax knees. Relax thighs. Relax whatever was next. It wasn’t working! She turned onto her stomach and smushed her face into the pillow. She needed something to get her mind off her body. She could worry about Mrs. Dugan. Mrs. Fitz and Harry were wheeling their way south. Berry opened one eye and checked out the clock. What was Mrs. Fitz doing right now? Berry rolled her eyes. They were probably in bed. Together! Damn. She flung herself onto her back and thrashed around until she was hopelessly tangled in the sheet. This was all Jake’s fault, the slimeball. How dare he sleep when she was in such a state.

She heard rustling in the living room, and a band of light flashed on under her door.

“What the devil?” Jake mumbled. “Oh, damn!”

Berry thought about it for a minute and reached the obvious conclusion. “Pepperoni pizza?” she called to Jake.

“My dream about a floppy-eared dog didn’t include this.”

“Is Jane okay?”

“Jane is great. I put her in the playpen, and she’s asleep already.”

Berry hugged herself and curled her toes. What a shame. Now Jake was going to have to take a shower and find another place to sleep. She smoothed the sheets and plumped her pillow.

Jake stormed into the bathroom, muttering colorful phrases, and slammed the door. Minutes later he emerged with damp hair and a towel precariously draped on his hips. He stood at the edge of the bed and peered at Berry in the semidarkness. “Well?”

Berry looked up at him. “Well what?”

Jake dropped his towel and slid under the quilt and turned to Berry. “Listen, Berry-” He sighed heavily and rolled away from her. “Oh, hell.”

Something was going wrong here, Berry thought. She was in bed with a naked man, and he just turned his back on her. She understood about being tired, but this was going too far. This was getting insulting. So, the hell with him. She rolled away and straightened the sheet. She shaped her pillow just so. She looked for just the perfect position.