Tessa Teevan - Incinerate

With that, they start bickering some more about who’s going to win. Leaving them alone, I go back to my old room and fall on my old bed. How the hell did I get here? Six months ago this is exactly where I didn’t want to be, but here I am.

Curling up with one of Knox’s shirts that I may have taken when I was packing, I think back on everything that happened the night he insinuated I wasn’t over Drew. I was so angry that night that I couldn’t see straight. His near accusation that I was still in love with Drew and the fact that he even thought it was possible that I’d leave him for Drew were more than I could stand. I couldn’t stay in that house after hearing those things, and I’ve been regretting it ever since.

Thinking back, I knew there was a chance that Knox saw Drew, and if I’m honest with myself, I probably would’ve freaked out if I’d spotting him getting so close with Megan. I have no idea how I got out of that house without tears spilling over, but I think if I had started crying, I wouldn’t have ever left. While I wish I hadn’t, I’m hoping that Knox is taking his time to work through his baggage or else I don’t know that we’ll have a snowball’s chance in hell of working out. I’ve found myself in my car, ready to head home more times than I can count, but I always stop myself, knowing that I need to let Knox do this on his own, even if it kills me.

The only things that have kept me from a breakdown are knowing that he wasn’t scared when I told him I loved him and the fact that he didn’t deny it when I said that I know he loves me. Because at the end of the day, when I think back on our time together, with how much he’s opened up to me and how tender he is, I know he does, even if he hasn’t said it. I don’t doubt that for a second. What I doubt is if it’ll ever be enough.

A while later, my phone chimes, waking me up. My heart races, hoping, praying that it’s him. As I reach over to grab my phone, I realize I must’ve fallen asleep with Knox’s shirt clutched to my chest.

My excitement fades quickly when I see that it’s from Lucy. Feeling much better and I need to get out. I’m meeting Kale at Chris’s band’s show tonight. Please say you’ll come over and help me find something to wear and then go with me. I’ll love you forever.

The idea of getting out actually sounds pretty nice, and I know I can’t keep moping around Dad’s. Walking out of my bedroom, I head down the hall to where he and Olivia are watching football.

“I’m going to go out with Lucy and probably stay at her place for the night. That is, as long as you don’t need me?” A look passes between them before Olivia gets up from the couch, saying something about needing to start dinner.

“Come here, Charlie,” Dad requests, patting the spot on the couch next to him. Sitting down next to him, I watch as he lowers the volume of the television and then turns to me. “Don’t get me wrong, honey. I love having you here, even if you women are trying to drive me nuts. But there’s no reason you need to spend all your non-working moments hovering over me. What’s really going on? Did something happen with Knox?”

“We had a misunderstanding. It’s not a big deal. We’re just trying to figure some things out.”

“I hope it works out. I like him for you, and I like seeing how happy he makes you. And I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but he told Olivia that things were getting serious. I hate to see any kind of misunderstanding change that for you.”

Wait. What? “He told her that? When? Any time we’ve talked about the future, he’d never give me a real answer, so that’s kind of news to me.”

Dad grimaces. “Dammit, I knew I should’ve kept my mouth shut. Don’t tell him—or her for that matter—that I told you. But I guess he told her that first morning when he went to get coffee so we could have some time together.”

My heart sinks, realizing what that means. He must’ve just come from telling Olivia that, and then he got shell-shocked when he saw me with Drew. Putting it all together, I begin to realize how Knox could’ve been so confused. I told him I loved him. Then he did what he always does—he anticipated my needs by giving me alone time with my Dad. And I rewarded him by kissing Drew like I didn’t care who saw. It was completely harmless, but for the first time, I’m really seeing it through Knox’s perspective. While I wish he’d have talked to me about it, I can suddenly see why he was so upset.

“Charlie?” Dad says, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah, Dad. I heard you. And yes, I love him. I love him more than I ever thought possible.”

“Then don’t let him go.”

Nodding, I lean and give him a hug. “Thanks, Dad. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you have Olivia.”

“I’m happy for you, too. I guess this was the year for the Davenports.”

Smiling, I pull away, knowing I need to make this right. “Yeah, Dad, I guess it was,” I tell him as I get up to leave the room.

He squeezes my shoulder. “Going to get your man?”

I grin at him. “You better believe it.”

I head down to my bedroom and pack up everything I brought to Dad’s the night of our fallout. I pray that I can find something in Lucy’s closet because I’m completely out of fresh clothes, having not been able to bring myself to go back to Knox’s. Pulling out my phone, I make a quick call and Lucy picks up on the first ring.

“Please tell me you’re calling to say you’re on your way over. I swear, I have nothing to wear.”

“I’m getting ready to leave, and I’m going to need to raid your closet. I hope you have something that will cover my ass since I tower over you.” I’m only four inches taller than her five-foot-four frame, but let’s face it. Lucy’s wardrobe, excluding her teaching one, leaves little to the imagination. “Do you think you can do me a favor?”

“Sure, what’s up?” she asks. I know she’s going to be surprised at my question. She knows the gist of what happened between me and Knox. Strangely, she tried to make me see his side of things, a vast difference from when she wanted me to throw all of Drew’s crap outside our place.

“Can you get Kale to make sure Knox is there tonight?” I have no idea what I’m going to do when I see him. I just know I need to do something.

“I can try. Kale mentioned he hasn’t left the house except to go to work and to the gym. Want him to mention you’ll be there?”

“Yes, that’s fine. Just tell him to do whatever it takes to get him there, okay?” I request, knowing I sound desperate, but I can’t help it.

“Okay, okay, he’ll do it. Now get your ass over here and help me find something to wear.”

After hanging up the phone, I grab my stuff and say my goodbyes to Olivia and Dad, feeling more rejuvenated than I have all week. I don’t care what Knox says. I don’t care how long I have to wait. Because I will. I’d rather be with him while he’s working out his shit than be without him, and I’m kicking myself that it took me so long to figure it out.

Charlie

“CHARLIE, JESUS, calm down. Your leg’s shaking the entire table,” Lucy complains, but I can’t help it. We’ve been at the bar for over an hour and I still haven’t seen him. The only thing that’s making me feel a little bit better is that Kale’s not here either. I’m holding out hope that they’re together. I have no idea what I’m going to say when I see him or if I’ll even be able to say anything.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t help it. You try waking up to that face every morning and then go without it for three days. There’s no quitting Knox Wellington. And trying to do it cold turkey? It’s been pure torture.”