Филиппа Карр - Saraband for Two Sisters

“You’ll have to wait until this is finished-then we’ll see.” She snuggled close to me and, seeing that she was satisfied, Lucas and Phoebe’s Little Thomas were too.

Jesson crept silently out of the tunnel to investigate. He was soon back.

“They’ve gone,” he said. “The place is deserted, but they’ve left their mark.” We went back into the house. The tapestries had been torn from the walls and the brass and pewter ornaments were missing. The chapel had been desecrated. I went up the stairs to our bedrooms. The rich hangings had been pulled down and in some cases torn into shreds and those embroidered counterpanes which they had left were ruined. The winery was flooded with wine. I supposed, wryly, they had thought that was sinful and though they had not drunk it themselves they had made sure that we never should. Our stores of food had been taken away. Most of the windows had been broken. I sat down on a remaining chair and cursed the stupid war.

Then I thought of Angelet and her approaching confinement. Everything we had prepared would be broken or removed. I was trying to think what we were going to do when I heard loud cries and, hurrying down, was confronted by Grace in the kitchen. “It’s Mrs. Cherry. She’s going fair mad. The devils have been in the castle. They’ve smashed everything to bits.”

“And the boy and his keeper?”

“They’re dead ... both of them. It looks as though they jumped from the turret. Strawberry John would never have done that. It was certain death. I reckon the toy was trying it and John was stopping him. They’re both lying out there. Don’t go out, mistress, and keep my lady away. ‘Tis not a pretty sight.” For a moment I felt limp, unable to plan, unable to think beyond the fact that the secret of the castle was over now and we had moved another step forward. It was inevitable that all that had happened should have had its effect, and I wasn’t completely surprised-nor was Grace-when Angelet’s pains began and we knew that the birth was imminent.

The lying-in chamber which had been carefully prepared was reduced to a shambles and we set about making something suitable to fit the occasion. It was not easy and Grace was disturbed. The baby was coming before its time and that was always somewhat dangerous.

It was good for us in a way to have something so important to do. I kept saying to myself, “We have lost so much but we are all here.”

We made Angelet lie on one of the few beds which it was possible to use and then we went in search of what we would need. We found a little bed linen which had been overlooked and Jesson made a fire and we heated hot bricks which we wrapped in flannel to warm the beds. Everyone was pressed into service. The children were slightly bewildered but I gave them into the charge of Phoebe and made her impress on them that we were still playing some extraordinary game which was sometimes frightening but sometimes

exciting and they must do as they were told.

Fortunately the soldiers had not harmed the cows and they had failed to penetrate some of the outbuildings such as the malting house, where grain and flour were stored, so we were able to get some food. Mrs. Cherry had been too distraught to do anything so Meg took her place in the kitchen and the men tried to board up the windows to prevent the cold coming in and repair the damage as much as possible. But our great concern was for Angelet, for she looked very ill indeed. The birth was not difficult, though, and within a few hours her son was born. He was puny, being almost a month premature, but he was sound in every way. Grace said we were going to find the first months difficult in rearing him, but once he’d got through them, established himself as it were, there should be nothing wrong with him. It was Angelet who gave us cause for alarm. She was very weak and we lacked so much that we needed.

I left the baby to Grace and made my sister my concern. I would sit by her through the day and night. Now and then I would doze out of very exhaustion but I wanted her to know that I was close. This seemed to give her some comfort and it gave me a great deal. My sins weighed heavily on me and they were nonetheless heavy because I knew that if I had been in the same position again I should have acted in exactly the same way.

I wished I could have explained to Angelet.

She lay still, exhausted by her ordeal, but sometimes she would smile at me and if I moved away I would see the anxious look in her face.

Four days passed.

The baby was making some progress, and Grace said, “He ought to be baptized and christened.

I could send Cherry or my father for a priest.”

I said she should do that.

I asked Angelet if she would like to call the baby Richard and she nodded, well pleased.

So the child was christened and I called him by the endearing diminutive of Dickon. Grace talked to me seriously: “Our Dickon will live. He’s gaining weight ... he’s getting interested in life. But my lady-it’s been hard times for her. I don’t know if we can pull her through. There’s so much we lack. The house don’t have what it should. I knew it was going to be difficult, but if we could have got it over before them Roundheads came-“ I said firmly, ‘We’re going to get her well again. She’ll live, Grace.” Grace looked at me as Angelet herself had so many times, suggesting that I was pitting my strength against that of God.

But it did seem as though Angelet were getting stronger. She was talking more.

She said, “I like to have you here, Bersaba.”

“Of course,” I answered. “My place is here.”

“It all went wrong didn’t it? You should have been the one who came to London. You should have met him. That would have made him happy, wouldn’t it?” I said, “He is happy.”

“You used to pride yourself on telling the truth. You always used to say, What’s the good of pretending?’ You must remember that now, Bersaba. I’m glad it wasn’t you who was trying to kill me. I thought it was.”

“You couldn’t have thought that.”

“Yes, I did. Because I knew someone was. I ought to have remembered that first time. But I thought that was due to the shock. They convinced me that it was. But I remember now Mrs. Cherry gave me some posset. There must have been something in that to bring on my miscarriage. She knew a great deal about herbs. She loved that boy. She wanted everything for him. She was afraid if I had a healthy child it would be his father’s heir and she was going to fight with everything she had for that boy.»

“Don’t think about it now. It’s past and done with. You have your baby. He’s doing well, Angel. He’s going to be a bonny boy. Grace says so, and Grace knows.»

“I want to think about it. I want there to be complete understanding between us. I can see it all so clearly. Poor Magdalen! What a terrible experience for her, and it happened in the chapel, and for nine months she kept that secret from him.»

“She should have told him.”

“She couldn’t, Bersaba. I understand. She was afraid of him, afraid it would turn him from her. I understand. I might have been the same. You are strong and so sure of yourself. You would have known what to do. But I understand. And then she died having that... creature ... and he was Mrs. Cherry’s grandson and she wanted everything for him. We mustn’t be hard on Mrs. Cherry. It was all for love, Bersaba. We have to remember that.”

“She was endangering your life for that-“

“For her grandson, and I don’t think she wanted to kill me. She just wanted my child not to be born. Try to understand her, Bersaba. Let’s try to understand everything.»

“Angel,” I said, “do you remember we used to say the qualities good and bad-were divided among us? You took all the good ones and left the bad to me.»