Филиппа Карр - Saraband for Two Sisters

“You are the mistress of the house already,” she replied.

“Don’t be foolish,” I cried. “You are coming down with me at once.”

I wrapped a cloak around her and we had reached the kitchen when I heard the shouts not far off.

“Where are the children?” cried Angelet.

“They are here. Everybody is here.”

So we entered the tunnel between the castle and the house. Through the night and the next day we stayed there. The children slept through the night and when they awakened at first they were excited by the new game, but we knew they would soon tire of it. When Lucas began to cry and said he didn’t want to play hideaway anymore, I had to tell him that he must be quiet because it wasn’t a game. The soldiers were in the house and we were hiding from them. I saw I had to silence him even if it meant frightening him a little, for our lives depended on silence at that time.

Arabella kept close to me, more intrigued than fearful; in the candlelight her eyes were luminous with excitement and they reminded me of Richard’s. “Soon they’ll go away,” I whispered, “and then we’ll go back to the house.” I was more worried about Angelet than anyone. She was silent and spoke to me only when necessary. I could not endure this suspicion she had of me, implying that she believed I wanted her to die so that I could marry Richard. I kept thinking of incidents from our childhood when we had been together and how important one had been to the other. The hardest thing I had to bear was her animosity toward me. I wanted her to lean on me, as she always had. Now she leaned away from me. I had shattered the bond between us when I had taken Richard. I told myself that if we came through this night and day I would go right away. I would never see him again, so there would not be the temptation to act as I had. I knew that I could not explain to Angelet, for she would never understand that overwhelming passion which had beset me.

We spoke in whispers.

Then Mrs. Cherry said suddenly, “What of the boy? What of Strawberry John? We must get them in here. The soldiers will get into the castle. They’ll break down the wall. What’ll happen to the boy? We must go through to the castle. We must bring them in here.”

Cherry said, “Strawberry John will take care of the boy.»

“But the Roundheads will get him. He’s in the castle. Roundheads don’t like castles and they’ll know whose castle it is. They’ll take revenge on one of the King’s generals.”

Her fingers were plucking at her skirt and her face looked wild in candlelight. I was afraid that she was going to become so hysterical that she would endanger us all by screaming or shouting or trying to get out to the boy and Strawberry John. Cherry tried to soothe her. “Now, Emmy, don’t take on. He’ll be all right.”

“You don’t care. You shot your own son, you did. Our Joseph. You just shot him down.»

“I had to, Emmy. Stop it, I say. I had to shoot him. You know what happened last time.”

“You shot him in the leg then. You could have shot him in the leg again. Couldn’t you? But you shot him dead. Our son. He hadn’t done anything. Perhaps he wouldn’t have. He’d just come back to see his mother. That’s all he wanted before but he saw her in the chapel ... and he was a natural man and she was there ... and he just did what others have done before him.”

There was silence. Even Mrs. Cherry seemed appalled by what she had said. Then she started crying. ‘We’ll never get out of here. Those wicked men-they’ll burn down the house. They’ll burn down the castle. What’ll happen to us? The entrance will be blocked. We’ll be buried alive. I want to get out of here.»

“You’re frightening the children, Mrs. Cherry,” I said sternly. And to them: “It’s nothing... nothing. Mrs. Cherry’s only playing.”

She was silent for a while and we were all straining our ears but we could only hear muffled sounds.

“We’re shut right away here,” said Jesson.

Grace said, “Are you feeling all right, my lady?” and Angelet whispered, “What was she saying about seeing someone in the chapel?”

“It was nothing, my lady,” began Cherry.

Mrs. Cherry said, “Don’t try to hold me back, Cherry. We’re not getting out of here.

There’s that on my mind that I’ve got to talk of it.”

“Don’t say anything, Emmy,” said Cherry. “Please don’t say anything.”

“It’s so long ... and it’s too big a weight on my mind. I want to own him for my own. That boy is mine. Why should I disown him? I always believed one day he’d get better. He wasn’t bad all the time. He was kind and gentle except when the turns took him. Joey was never that. He was always cruel and wanting to hurt. The boy wasn’t. He was gentle. I wanted to see him well and living like a gentleman in the house. It was to have been his. You see how wicked I was.”

I was beginning to understand-piecing events and facts together but I did not want Mrs. Cherry to go on in front of the children. I was afraid she might frighten them. The boy in the castle was not the General’s son. How could he be if he were Mrs. Cherry’s grandson? The madman had come to the house before. He had found Richard’s first wife in the chapel, had raped her, and given her a child-the boy. Then why had she not denounced him? Why had they not known? But then I realized.

That young girl-Magdalen was her name-was frightened of him, as Angelet had been. She had been afraid to tell Richard. But Mrs. Cherry knew and Cherry knew. They had shot him in the leg, but too late for Magdalen.

Poor girl. What must her months of pregnancy have been like, knowing who was the father of the child she was to bear? A madman.

I was watching Angelet. Was she taking it in? She was just staring at Mrs. Cherry as though she were seeing her for the first time and was startled by what she saw. “I only wanted it for him,” said Mrs. Cherry sobbing. “I only wanted it for the boy.”

“Hush,” said her husband.

“It could have been his, couldn’t it? I was going to fight for it. When he was eighteen I was going to fight. The son he was, or so they thought, and who was to say nay to that? Oh, my God, and what’s happening to him out there? He’s out there and the soldiers are there and they hate castles-and they know this is a General’s castle-and my boy’s there-the General’s son-or so they think.”

Then she began to laugh hysterically. “I was going to make it come right for him.

I wasn’t going to have any trouble.” She was laughing, beginning to shriek.

I went to her and slapped her face.

She was quiet at once. Then she whispered, “We’re going to die. Like rats in a trap we’re going to die. And that’s war-that’s what we’ve been waiting for all these months. Nobody’ll have anything and the sin lies heavy on me. I would have killed her. I got rid of it the first time but that was easy, and I was going to get rid of it again and make the way easy for my boy. I wasn’t going to have anybody standing in his way.”

Angelet said quietly, “It’s all right, Mrs. Cherry. I understand everything now.

I’m still here, you know. I’ve as much chance as anyone. I know why you did it all.

I know what happened to Magdalen . . , but it doesn’t matter anymore.” There was silence, broken by Arabella. “Are you angry with Mrs. Cherry?” she asked me.

“No, no,” I replied.

“She thinks you are. She’s crying.”

The silence of the tunnel was broken by the stifled sound of Mrs. Cherry’s sobs.

“It’ll soon be over,” I said to Arabella.

“Is it still a game?” she asked.

“Yes, it’s still a game.”

“I want to play something else now.”