Jennifer Murgia: Leminscate

So many memories came flooding back to me. Mathur had been the wise elderly angel I encountered on the other side last spring. Garreth had fallen victim to Hadrian, who wanted ultimate control over humanity by corrupting our guardian angels. Without a guardian, a human is easily manipulated and vulnerable to the whims of powerful dark angels.

Without Garreth, I might have been putty in Hadrian’s hands. To stop Hadrian, I needed to cross over to a realm no humans could enter. I had to die for it. Outwitting death with an ancient dagger inscribed with the octagram was my only hope. As it turned out, I had the power to bridge the two worlds, heaven and earth.

I took Garreth’s hand gingerly in my own and flipped it over to look at his mark again, his octagram. I needed to see it, to trace it with my fingertips. I needed to know every so often that all that happened these last few months was real and not some dream.

“Maybe Mathur could give me some math pointers some day,” I said, pulling myself back into the present.

“He’s very wise. Like a father.”

“I wouldn’t know,” I sighed.

“Someday you might. Your mother seems to see something in that doctor friend of hers. Maybe it’s similar to what she saw in your father.”

Garreth’s blue eyes were tender as he leaned forward to move a strand of hair away from my face. My mom was usually a good judge of character.

Maybe if I wasn’t so focused on being jealous of the time she spent with Dr. Dean, the time that used to be ours … maybe if I wasn’t so miserable thinking about Brynn and all the ways she can mess up my life inside and outside of school, I’d be able to see the bigger picture. I smiled in response to Garreth’s insight.

“What would I do without you?” I leaned against my locker staring at the incredible wonder before me.

“I think the question is what would I do without you?” The space between us charged with life. He leaned into that space and placed his lips gently on mine. The hallway and the commotion slipped away in silence and there was nothing but us … until a Carver Crusaders’ wide receiver slapped Garreth on the back.

“Hey bro, pizza and fries. The lunch of champions awaits!” Derek Arnold boomed joyously. He was a tall guy with a husky build and arms that reminded me of the old sailor cartoon, Popeye. His chestnut hair was cropped close and he was so drenched in cologne that I needed to turn away just to breathe.

Garreth’s apologetic smile greeted me when I turned back around. The back of my throat tasted like Macy’s cosmetic department on a Saturday.

“I completely forgot, Teagan. Derek asked me to hang out with him and the team for lunch. He mentioned it in homeroom.”

“Just meet me at the truck, man,” Derek gave Garreth another pounding on his back, and nodded to me, finally acknowledging my presence before bounding away. He stopped short a few lockers down to talk to a couple of freshman cheerleaders who were obviously drinking in his chokingly manly aroma and attention.

“I’m sorry.” Garreth was so sincere it looked painful. “If you don’t want me to go, I’ll just tell the guys…”

“No, go ahead,” I interrupted him. How could I be so selfish? Garreth had chosen to stay behind on earth to be with me, so we’d have the chance to be together longer than the eight days he was originally allowed. It was more than I could have ever dreamed of and here I was, keeping him to myself.

Hogging him. If he wanted to look human, he should act human. He should be given more than just me; he should be given a chance to live like the eighteen-year-old boy everyone believed he was.

He looked a little lost to me. Like I had just given him permission to go hang with the wolves. I glanced over at Derek, who was tickling the underside of the chin of an overly bubbly blonde in a very short skirt. I shuddered at the display of affection.

Garreth was so not like the other guys here at Carver, but for his own sake, he had to try.

“It’s okay, really. I need to get a head start on the next calc chapter. If the next test is anything like today’s, I’m screwed.”

“Yeah?” He was apprehensive but I could sense a little relief underneath it all. “I’ll meet you here at dismissal.”

Unlike last year, we only shared two classes together. I wasn’t used to not seeing him during the day. I shut my locker and felt the quick kiss on my cheek. The warm feeling between us sadly disappeared, as I watched him walk away, turning back once. I smiled encouragingly and couldn’t help wonder if Mathur had taught him anything else, like how to blend in with teenage wolves of the twenty-first century.

As he headed for the door at the end of the hall, I reopened my locker and tossed my calculus book and folder in a heap at the bottom. I grabbed my iPod and my keys, slammed the locker shut and headed in the opposite direction.

I started to take notice of all the people walking the halls. The guys. The girls. The Jocks, the Goths, the Bandos … all the cliques, all the clubs, the groups … the packs. I had gone to school with half these kids since kindergarten and yet I still didn’t know them. And although Garreth had been my guardian for eight of my incarnations, I’ve really only known him for about five months … but I trusted him with all my heart.

I opened the main door to find the sun shining at last, drying up the puddle-ridden parking lot. I dodged the bigger ones still smattered here and there and made my way to Garreth’s Jeep.

Using the key he had given me, I unlocked the door and slipped inside, sitting for a few moments in silence before putting in my ear buds. I closed my eyes, giving in to the tune, feeling the sun-warmed seat beneath me, smelling the scent that was his. It cleared the horrible after-smell of Derek from my nostrils and I imagined the spicy incense to be Garreth’s breath, trailing down my cheeks, my neck, my arms … the lingering presence that constantly accompanied me, the very essence of my guardian. He was here with me.

I tried not to think of where he was, of sharing him, and instead forced myself to be happy for him.

After all, what could possibly happen in forty-five minutes?

I woke with a start.

“Crap,” I whispered to myself and shook my head to clear it. I looked at the blue numbers on the dashboard and sat straight up in the seat. I had slept through lunch … and through gym.

I stared out the window, dazed. The warm sun had only been a tease and the rain had started up again, coming down in buckets against a now blackish sky. I felt trapped in Garreth’s Jeep. There was no way I could make a run for it without getting soaked, and everyone would wonder why I was so wet.

Panic settled in.I wonder if anyone saw me?

I needed to get inside but something in me wouldn’t allow it. I couldn’t put my finger on it, only there was a strong feeling telling me to stay put. Leaning back against the seat, I tried to recall what I had been dreaming about. It completely escaped me now. But there was something. I grabbed the keys from the ignition and turned around, half crawling over the seat to peer into the back.

Fabulous. No umbrella.

When the tapping came at the window, I nearly jumped out of my skin. My head crashed against the ceiling of the car as I hastily untangled my legs to turn around. I rubbed the top of my head, and cleared the inside of the fogged window with my sleeve to see out. Standing there was Garreth, drenched and expressionless. He jutted his chin, motioning for me to scoot over.

A strange, uncomfortable quiet fell between us as he climbed in and silently stared straight ahead. I couldn’t read him at all. He didn’t even ask why I was sitting in his car instead of at my desk in American history.