Sam West: Home Intruder

It was too painful to come back. So many memories of Dad. And now my dead mum too…

“You don’t talk much about your father.”

“What do you want me to say? He was a good man and I loved him very much. When he died in a car accident just before I left for university, neither me nor Mum could bare to come back here again.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to dredge up you past and make you feel bad.” She wrapped her arm around his back and lightly rested her head on his shoulder. “I hope being back here helps. I hope that you can start to remember the good times and not let the bad sour your memories.”

Another lump formed in his throat. He knew she was right. They were happy memories. Until his dad’s horrific accident ripped his and Mum’s world apart.

He tilted his pale face up to the late afternoon sun, stemming the flow of tears. He wasn’t going to sit here crying like a god damn girl .

“Ed?”

The voice came from behind them. A familiar voice with a strong Cornish accent.

He twisted round his head and found himself staring up into the face of his childhood sweetheart.

“Oh my God, I knew it was you.”

“Linda. God, hello. How are you?”

He jumped to his feet, walked round the bench and pecked her on the cheek.

His first thought was that time hadn’t been kind to her. She was thirty-three, the same age as him, but she looked a decade older. Her obviously dyed blonde hair looked garish against her weathered face and she was no longer the slender girl he had known.

“Ed,” she said, the delight shining in her eyes as she gripped his shoulders, holding him away from her at arms’ length. “What are you doing back here? Oh, of course, stupid me. I’m so sorry about your mum.”

Jesus, was nothing secret in this town?

“Yeah, well, thanks.”

“I guess you’re going to put the house on the market then? Or maybe you’re going to move back?”

Her look of moist eyed eagerness was all too obvious and it embarrassed him.

“Linda, I’d like you to meet my wife, Jaz. Jaz, this is Linda,” he said, dodging the question.

“Did you say wife ?” Linda asked.

“Yep, I sure did.”

Linda turned pink. A funny look came over her eyes, like she was about to burst into tears, but just as quick it was gone again. Ed decided he had imagined it.

“Hi,” Jaz said, getting to her feet and extending a hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Linda accepted the offered hand. “Likewise.”

The two women stared at each other for a fraction too long than was polite, leaving Ed feeling distinctly uncomfortable.

Not that he had anything to feel uncomfortable about, he reminded himself. Linda was ancient history and there were absolutely no pangs on his part, nostalgic or otherwise. They had ended because he had fallen out of love with her and university had been a natural break.

“It’s just so good to see you, Ed. What are you doing tonight?”

Ed was crap when put on the spot. At work he thrived under pressure but when it came to his personal life, he was a total pushover. His mind went blank and out came the classic:

“Nothing.”

“You are now. Me and Boko are going to come round tonight with a takeaway. I’m just dying to go inside the house again, I haven’t set foot in it since you left. And you can tell us all about you getting married.”

“Well, I… Yes. That would be lovely. Who’s Boko?”

“You know Boko. He was in our year at school. Boris Coleman.”

Boris Coleman?

For a moment Ed just couldn’t think. He pushed his glasses back up his nose as he tried to place the horribly familiar name. Then it came to him.

Bully Boris Coleman? The same guy that once flushed my head down the toilet?

“Yeah. Now I remember.”

“Good. Me and Boko have been together years now. That’s that settled then. Nice to meet you, Jaz.”

Ed and Jaz stood side by side, watching her retreating figure.

“The ex?”

“Uh huh.”

“Cosy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Although he could tell from her tone that it probably did.

“How about I buy you that pint now? I have a feeling we’re both gonna need one.”

They chose The Fox and Goose opposite the harbour slipway. It was a popular spot with tourists and locals alike, who congregated in the busy, concrete beer garden overlooking the fishing boats. Ed and Jaz elected to drink inside, away from the crowds.

“Nice pub,” Jaz said, instantly soothed by the dark interior and black wood.

“Yeah. I didn’t really come in here much. Wasn’t much of an underage drinker.”

“Bet you made up for it when you went to uni.”

“Yeah. I guess I did.”

Her tone was light, but truth was, she was shaken up by the meeting with Linda. Not to mention slightly pissed off. How the hell had that woman managed to wheedle her way into their home tonight? Honestly, when he wasn’t at work, Ed really needed to grow a pair.

Home. If only. Jaz had only been here a few hours but she was already head over heels in love with the place.

“She still fancies you.”

“What? Who?”

Jaz rolled her eyes.

“You know who.”

“Don’t be soft. Course she doesn’t.”

Jaz regarded her fiancé thoughtfully. Part of his charm was that he genuinely didn’t believe women were attracted to him. But they were. In droves. He had this kind of geeky charm, this hapless, bumbling quality. He was the kind of guy that flew around the house looking for the glasses that he was wearing, or the keys that he was holding. He was the type that made five cups of coffee for himself in the morning in quick succession because he couldn’t remember making them and he always came home from work to find full cups of cold coffee languishing on every window sill and table top.

He was also incredibly good looking. Tall and slim to the point of thin, he had big, puppy dog brown eyes and a narrow nose, lending him a studios quality. His face was lean but comprised of hard lines, and his upper lip curved upwards in a pronounced cupid’s bow that reminded her of Jonny Depp’s mouth.

Sometimes it was charming that he didn’t believe women fancied him. Other times, like now, it was just plain annoying.

“Okay, fine, she doesn’t fancy you. She’s just coming round tonight to get to know me better.”

“She has a boyfriend. He flushed my head down the toilet once when we were at school.”

Jaz sprayed beer across the little wooden table.

“He did what ?”

“It was only the once. I said that if he ever pulled a stunt like that again I would ram his head up his arse and shit down his neck.”

Jaz could well believe it. Ed was more than capable of looking after himself. He looked like a victim, up to a point. He was sweet and skinny and studious, but he could turn in a heartbeat. A look would come over his eyes like he was capable of murder. She had only seen it once, in a nightclub when some guy had groped her breast as she stood talking to Ed at the bar. The man had been much bigger than Ed, but that hadn’t stopped Ed from pinning him to the bar by his neck and very quietly warning him that if he so much as looked at Jaz again, he would not be responsible for his actions. It was his calmness that had unnerved her, rather than the threat of violence.

“And you want to spend an evening with these people? A woman that still fancies you, with her boyfriend that wants to beat you up?”

“I’m sure that Boko can’t even remember flushing my head down the toilet. We were only fourteen at the time.”