Jeff Jacobson - Foodchain

Frank felt sorry for her. He really did. This cat was probably the only thing this woman had for a family, and now it was gone. As she crumpled on the table, cradling the cat, sobbing into the limp gray fur, Frank found himself listening seriously to a calm, reasonable voice inside that suggested just plunging a syringe full of Sleepazone into her ample backside. The medicine would hit her heart in less than a second, and it would be over. She’d sink to the floor, forever joining her cat in whatever heaven that allowed animals. At least then she’d be happy. No more sadness. No more death. Just an eternity together.

Frank actually broke the seal and had the syringe itself out before he realized that he didn’t want to be responsible for another death. Killing her wasn’t the best way to ease her suffering, although he’d be damned if he knew a better way. Instead, he found a small Styrofoam ice chest in the back, and together, they buried the cat out in the field of star thistles, near Annie’s still smoking fire pit. It seemed to make the woman feel a little better, but Frank knew that once she got back to her empty house, the pain would be back with a vengeance, and again, he considered just gently easing her out of this world and into the next.

Before the idea really took hold, he urged her into her car, offering empty encouragement like, “He’s in a better place now, and wouldn’t want you to be sad,” and “It’s going to be okay. It really will get better.” Both of them knew it was lies, but at least it got her moving. She drove away and Frank went inside for a beer.

* * * * *

The phone was ringing. It was Sturm. “How’re my girls?”

“Better. They’re moving around more, picking up on stuff. Eyes are clear. Stool looks good. So far, they seem to be responding quite well to the food.”

“Good to hear, good to hear, ’cause come Saturday, I’m gonna need them to be, well—if not healthy, then active at least. We’ll need four of ’em; one of ‘em’s gotta be the tiger. You think at least four of ’em’ll be healthy? I want them to be able to run. Think they can run?”

“Saturday?”

“Yup. Got an old buddy coming into town. Known him for years. He’s bringing some associate, and we’re gonna have ourselves a good old fashioned safari.”

“Saturday then. I’ll have four cats ready.”

“Don’t forget that tiger.”

* * * * *

At night, Frank would sit in the office with Petunia, reading. At first, she would growl at him from her spot on the couch. But after two or three days, she let Frank sit on the couch with her and before long, she let him touch her back. Frank had lined the floor with newspaper, and replaced it every day. He kept the food and water dishes full and fresh. By Friday night, she was curling up on the couch next to him, throwing her shoulder into his thigh and sleeping as he read aloud about rabies vaccines and feline leukemia.

Annie never came by. Frank didn’t know why. He didn’t have her number. He was even sure the Gloucks had a phone. Whenever he got the urge to drive on out to her house, he thought of the woman across the street at the gas station, and he couldn’t face her again. Maybe he didn’t do anything because he was afraid of that dead tree full of kids with BB guns.

To distract himself from waiting on Annie, he had been thinking about the vet office’s role in the town. Found himself rearranging the vials of medicine on the stainless steel shelves in the examination room. Sweeping and mopping the floors. Thumbing through the clients’ address book. Testing the radio. Writing down a proposal to spay and neuter the stray cats roaming the town. Lining up vials of vaccines for a rabies clinic.

Petunia squirmed and farted in his lap; she lay on her pack, all four legs splayed against him and the couch, and it hit him like a bullet in the chest that he was dreaming. Here he was, squatting in one place like a goddamn elephant with constipation, when he was up close and personally responsible for the deaths of at least three men.

Closing the book softly, so as not to disturb Petunia, he knew he needed out of the country, out of this town, out of his skin. But the same problems were still there, waiting for him like a patient cat watching a mouse hole. He didn’t know where to go. And wherever he went, the ten grand from Sturm would only last so long. He’d hidden the cash under the frozen meat in the freezer in back of the barn, just in case he had to get out in a hurry. He eased back into the couch, vinyl giving a squeaking sigh, grabbed the bottle of rum from the bookshelf, and unscrewed the cap with his thumb.

It tasted harsh and sweet and when he got to the bottom, he figured his problems could wait outside the door forever.

DAY SIXTEEN

Pine found him sprawled on the couch with Petunia in the morning. “Goddamn,” he said. “You’ll fuck anything.”

Petunia growled at him.

Sturm had sent the clowns over to the vet hospital with a large horse trailer. Frank and Pine lined the inside with chicken wire, preparing it to haul the cats out to Sturm’s ranch, listening to the monkeys chatter and screech at the two men. It took a while, mostly because the construction took a back seat to drinking beer.

* * * * *

Sturm pulled in, followed closely by a giant white SUV. The guy who got out of the driver’s seat was big, as big as Sturm was short. He was near the end of his fifties, and looked like he might have been a football player in his day, but fat had grown off the muscles like a fungus and now everything kind of wilted off his large frame. He walked with a barely perceptible limp as if he was casually cheating at golf wherever he went. He looked like he’d swallowed about a gallon of red food coloring and tried to vomit it back up straight away, but it leaked out and soaked out through his face instead.

He shook Frank’s hand with a hand big enough Frank thought the man might have been wearing a catcher’s mitt. “Bob Bronson. How ya’ doing.”

It was like Castellari: Frank wasn’t sure if the guy was asking a question or just stating a fact. Frank went with a generic, “Good, good,” but Bronson was already moving down the line, attacking the clowns’ hands, beaming, saying, “Bob Bronson. Nice to meet ya,” and “Bob Bronson. Good to see ya.”

The other guy’s name was Fairfax, and he might as well have been wearing a sign that said, “Lawyer.” He wore clothing so new Frank wasn’t surprised when he saw a long sticker on the back of his thigh, announcing to everyone that he wore a 54 waist, 28 length. His boots were so stiff that he winced whenever he took a step.

Sturm wanted to introduce the men to the cats, acting like a proud father showing off his infant daughter for the first time, so Frank walked everyone through a tour of the facilities, having fun with his new words and calculations. The real problem was administering the anesthesia to the animals. You couldn’t just shoot them with tranquilizers every time.

“Why not?” Pine asked.

Frank didn’t have an answer right away. He just felt it was kind of cruel to the cats, but he didn’t want to give that as his real reason. “Lotta problems with that. You never know how much of the tranquilizer was administered for one. Two, there’s always a strong risk of striking the animal in the bone, perhaps tearing cartilage. And if the subcutaneous tissue gets infected…well.” He looked at all of them. “I think we all know what would happen then.”

Everybody nodded sagely.

“Gentlemen,” Sturm said, “I suggest we get this show on the road. My boy, Theo, will be hunting one of these fine animals this afternoon, and Jack and Chuck should be back by now. I’ve been promised that dinner will be served at eight o’clock sharp, and it’s gonna be a goddamn treat, I’m telling you. I got just one word for you, just one word to start them taste buds.” He sucked in a breath, looking around at the semi-circle of men. “Abalone.”