Howie Jacobson - You Can Change Other People

1 COVER

2 TITLE PAGE Peter Bregman Bestselling Author of 18 minutes Howie Jacobson, PhD

3 COPYRIGHT

4 DEDICATION

5 FOREWORD

6 PART ONE: A NEW WAY TO HELP PEOPLE (BECAUSE THE OLD WAYS DON'T WORK) CHAPTER 1: WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE CAN YOU REALLY CHANGE OTHER PEOPLE? A TOUR OF THE BOOK NOTES CHAPTER 2: PEOPLE DON'T RESIST CHANGE—THEY RESIST BEING CHANGED CHAPTER 3: POWER 1: OWNERSHIP NOTE CHAPTER 4: POWER 2: INDEPENDENT CAPABILITY CHAPTER 5: POWER 3: EMOTIONAL COURAGE CHAPTER 6: POWER 4: FUTURE-PROOFING

7 PART TWO: THE FOUR STEPS STEP ONE: SHIFT FROM CRITIC TO ALLY CHAPTER 7: BECOME AN ALLY CHAPTER 8: BE YOUR OWN ALLY FIRST BODY MIND EMOTIONS INTENT CHAPTER 9: THEN BE YOUR PARTNER'S ALLY CHAPTER 10: HOW TO GET PERMISSION TO HELP THE PERMISSION FORMULA NOTE CHAPTER 11: HOW TO INITIATE THE CONVERSATION CHAPTER 12: DON'T RELY ON YOUR POSITION OF POWER HOW TO USE POSITIONAL POWER IN THE WORKPLACE CHAPTER 13: STAY ON TRACK GETTING STUCK IN A COMPLAINT/EMPATHY LOOP FORCING A YES REFUSING TO TAKE “NO” FOR AN ANSWER RUSHING BECOMING DEFENSIVE STEP 2: IDENTIFY AN ENERGIZING OUTCOME CHAPTER 14: PROBLEMS ARE SIGNPOSTS POINTING TO ENERGIZING OUTCOMES CHAPTER 15: MAKE IT POSITIVE CHAPTER 16: MAKE IT CLEAR USING EMPATHY TO DRIVE CLARITY CHAPTER 17: MAKE IT MEANINGFUL STEP 3: FIND THE HIDDEN OPPORTUNITY CHAPTER 18: BECOME A SCIENTIST THE OPPORTUNITY STEP IN ACTION CHAPTER 19: QUESTION 1: WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW? SEPARATING DATA FROM INTERPRETATION HOW TO SHIFT FROM GENERALIZATIONS TO SPECIFICS CHAPTER 20: QUESTION 2: WHAT HAVE YOU TRIED? AND WHAT ELSE? AND WHAT ELSE? WHAT DID THAT LOOK LIKE? PAST ATTEMPTS CAN TELL YOU WHY THEY'RE STUCK WHAT IF THEY HAVEN'T TRIED ANYTHING? CHAPTER 21: QUESTION 3: HOW CAN YOU USE THE PROBLEM TO ACHIEVE YOUR ENERGIZING OUTCOME? FIND THE UPSIDE IN THE DOWNSIDE FIND THE SYSTEM UPGRADE OPPORTUNITY WHEN THE PROBLEM LOOKS LIKE A SKILLS GAP THE OPPORTUNITY IN A DYSFUNCTIONAL HABIT THE OPPORTUNITY IN FEAR CHAPTER 22: HOW NOT TO GET DISTRACTED DISTRACTION: BLAMING OTHERS DISTRACTION: SELF-CRITICISM DISTRACTION: FEAR THAT THE FUTURE WILL ECHO THE PAST HOW TO BECOME DISTRACTION-PROOF: EMOTIONAL COURAGE STEP 4: CREATE A LEVEL-10 PLAN CHAPTER 23: CRAFT THE PLAN CHAPTER 24: TASK 1: IDENTIFY OPTIONS TIPS TO HELP IDENTIFY OPTIONS WHAT ELSE? WHAT ABOUT YODA? HOW TO HELP GENERATE OPTIONS HOW TO SUGGEST OPTIONS CHAPTER 25: TASK 2: CHOOSE THE PATH FORWARD ASK FOR DETAILS IDENTIFY AND EXPLORE RISKS BRAINSTORM WAYS TO MITIGATE RISKS ROLE-PLAY TO IDENTIFY AND MITIGATE RISKS WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU THINK THEY'RE MAKING A MISTAKE CHAPTER 26: TASK 3: COMMIT TO THE PLAN THE POWER OF WHEN/THEN GETTING TO LEVEL 10—OR AS CLOSE AS POSSIBLE HOW WILL THEY MEASURE SUCCESS? AGREE TO FOLLOW UP THE FOLLOW-UP CHAPTER 27: TAKING THE FOUR STEPS INTO YOUR WORLD

8 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

9 ABOUT THE AUTHORSPETER BREGMAN HOWIE JACOBSON

10 END USER LICENSE AGREEMENT

1 Cover

2 Table of Contents

3 Title Page

4 Copyright

5 Dedication

6 Foreword

7 Begin Reading

8 Acknowledgments

9 About the Authors

10 End User License Agreement

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Peter Bregman

Bestselling Author of 18 minutes

Howie Jacobson, PhD

Copyright © 2022 by Bregman Partners, Inc. All rights reserved.

Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.

Published simultaneously in Canada.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Section 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or authorization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance Center, Inc., 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, (978) 750-8400, fax (978) 646-8600, or on the Web at www.copyright.com. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 111 River Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030, (201) 748-6011, fax (201) 748-6008, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: While the publisher and author have used their best efforts in preparing this book, they make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. No warranty may be created or extended by sales representatives or written sales materials. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for your situation. You should consult with a professional where appropriate. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any other commercial damages, including but not limited to special, incidental, consequential, or other damages.