Laurell Hamilton - Affliction

‘I don’t point a gun at someone unless I’m willing to pull the trigger. I don’t pull the trigger unless I’m willing to kill. And I never bluff, Mischa; do we understand each other?’

‘No, but if you are asking, do I believe that you will kill me, then yes, yes, I do. I’m looking in your eyes and there is no remorse, no relief that you didn’t have to shoot me. You simply don’t care one way or the other, no real emotion at all about what has just happened. I didn’t know that about you.’

‘Know what?’ I asked.

‘That you killed coldly. I thought you would kill in hot blood like you fuck.’

‘I don’t enjoy killing,’ I said. ‘I enjoy sex.’

‘I enjoy killing,’ Mischa said, and smiled just a little bit when he said it, which was disturbing. He watched my face and I knew he’d caught that flicker of distaste from me. ‘That bothered you, that I enjoy killing. Why did that bother you? I am no worse than your werelion, Nicky, but he is your lover. If you were squeamish about such things, why would you fuck him?’

‘Enough,’ Jean-Claude said, and his voice was harsh enough that everyone looked at him.

Mischa and Goran bowed low again. Truth and Wicked did more bows from the neck and put their right fists over their hearts. I couldn’t see what Lisandro and Emmanuel did, but I doubted either of the wererats showed that formal a reaction. I just stood there not quite sure why everything had turned so stylized.

‘Dawn is almost upon us.’ He held his hand out to me and I went to him, holstering my gun as I moved. He took me in his arms and kissed me less thoroughly than he had earlier, but I could feel the sun on that edge of hovering nearness. There had been nights when I fought just to have the sun rise and help save me from the vampires, and now I was in the arms and heart of the biggest vampire in the country. The irony wasn’t lost on me, but I’d stopped worrying about it.

Jean-Claude spoke low, but quickly. ‘Asher will be here tomorrow night. The territory he is visiting is close enough that he will be driven here and then fly back with us when we leave.’

‘And he wanted to see you sooner,’ I said.

‘He wanted to see all of us,’ Jean-Claude said.

I sort of doubted that, but I kept it to myself. I knew who Asher loved best, and it sure as hell wasn’t me, or Nathaniel. I was pretty sure it was Jean-Claude but wasn’t positive where Dev fell in the list of Asher’s affections.

‘So the talk went well?’ I asked.

‘Very well,’ Jean-Claude said, and smiled, giving that flash of happiness I’d noticed when he first walked out of the back room. It made me smile and I went on tiptoe to press my smile against his, because when someone you love is happy, you’re happy for them, even if what they’re happy about is another love of their life. Or that’s how it works for us. The only person in our little group who suffered from jealousy was Asher. Here was hoping that when he came back to us, he left the green-eyed monster behind. I’d have crossed my fingers if they hadn’t been too busy touching Jean-Claude.

It was an hour past dawn; all the vampires were tucked in their coffins. Lisandro and Emmanuel took Goran with them; I wasn’t sure if he was going to be in the duty rotation, or if Claudia was going to give him the third degree, because I’d taken Lisandro to the side and told him about Mischa hitting Goran and about Nilda’s anger and panic at the plane in St Louis that had gotten her kicked off the detail. I wanted to know if others of the Harlequin vampires were abusing their animals to call, and how bad the abuse was, because it wasn’t okay in my book.

Nicky and Dev were with me, and the three of us were still covered in drying bits of zombie. I’d learned years ago that no matter how tired you are you never go to sleep without showering first, so … ‘We’ve all got to shower,’ I said.

Dev grinned at me. ‘You said you’d help me clean up.’

‘I didn’t agree to giving up shower sex,’ Nicky said.

Dev looked at him. ‘Hey, I’ve been traumatized.’

‘Just because you got your combat cherry popped doesn’t mean you get to have shower sex with Anita and I don’t.’

‘You keep this up and I’m showering alone,’ I said.

They both looked at me as if I’d spoken in tongues.

‘You love shower sex,’ Dev said.

‘You love sex,’ Nicky said.

‘I’m tired, I’m cranky, and you’re arguing over who gets to have sex with me in the shower without asking me if I have a preference. I’m standing right here, guys.’

They looked at each other, and then Dev looked embarrassed, and Nicky gave me a very direct look, as if he were trying to read more than just my expression. He probably was. ‘Who do you want to shower with?’ he asked.

‘Right now, neither of you,’ I said, and it sounded cranky even to me. I wasn’t even sure why I was saying it. They were both wonderful lovers. It was easier to get the dried crud off with someone to spot and help.

‘So, what, Nicky helps me get the stuff out of my hair?’ Dev asked, and the look on his face was almost funny.

‘Not my job to be your shower boy,’ Nicky said, but he was looking at me.

My phone rang; I would have ignored it, but it was Edward’s ring tone. I hit the button and said, ‘Yeah, Ed … Ted, what’s up?’

‘Don’t fuck this up,’ he said.

‘What? Fuck what up?’

‘Dev and Nicky, to start with,’ he said.

‘You warned me in the elevator, I remember.’

‘You remember, but you still sound pissed. I know that tone. It means you’re being hostile and bitchy and are going to say, or do, something that you’ll regret.’

‘Did you even take time to shower before you called to give me advice on my personal life?’ I asked, and I sounded angry. I was angry, but I was also confused. ‘Since when did you start giving me advice about men?’

‘I just got out of the shower, but I figured if I waited to dress you’d have started a fight with one or both of them. And we’ve been criticizing or giving each other advice on our personal lives almost from the moment we met, which was sort of weird if you think about it,’ he said.

That stopped me, because he was right. ‘Your advice used to be that I complicated my life and I should just find someone to fuck.’

‘I didn’t understand you, or me, back then; now I’m telling you to not take your mood out on Nicky and Dev. Nicky’s a good guy, and Dev stayed in the fight and cleanup afterward until it was pretty much over, when he was probably scared shitless and overwhelmed. Don’t sell either of them short and don’t aim your bad mood at them.’

‘Well, aren’t you just a wellspring of dating advice?’

‘If you think it’s bad advice, then don’t take it,’ he said.

‘I didn’t say it was bad.’

‘Then don’t pick a fight with them. Remember, you love one of them and like the other one a hell of a lot.’

‘Yes, sir,’ I said, but it sounded petulant, even pouty.

‘You can do what you want to do, Anita, but in the mood you’re in, sleeping alone may not be the best idea.’

‘I used to sleep alone all the time.’

‘Yeah, and you were miserable. I may not understand how your life works with everyone in it, but this is the happiest I’ve ever seen you. I’m not sure how much of that happiness is due to Nicky, or Dev, but some of it is, so keep that in mind in the next few minutes. I’m getting sleep before someone with a badge calls with another emergency.’ He hung up.

I was left standing there with the silent phone and the two men. Dev was looking a question at me. Nicky was trying to be all neutral, and he was, except the very emptiness of his face and body screamed just how not neutral he was feeling.