Laurell Hamilton - Affliction

‘Every vampire case I’ve ever worked had multiple deaths.’

I shook my head. ‘Most vamps kill to eat or because they’re trying to make more vampires. They don’t have the same kind of pathology as a serial killer, even though that’s technically what they’re classed as a lot.’

‘What does that even mean?’ Hatfield said, and she sounded irritated, a hint of her earlier attitude.

‘It means I’ve seen human serial killers who did things so awful that as horrible as the vampires and shapeshifters can be, it’s not as terrible to me.’

‘Why not?’ she asked, and the irritation was melting with something that was almost tears.

‘Because we’re human beings, damn it, and we’re supposed to remember that and act accordingly. Serial killers don’t remember that.’

‘It can be worse than we saw tonight.’

I didn’t know whether to pat her on the head or laugh in her face. Edward saved me from either. ‘Marshal Hatfield, the worst monsters I’ve ever seen have all been human.’

Her eyes were shiny. ‘I don’t want to believe that.’

‘No one wants to believe that,’ he said, ‘but that doesn’t make it any less true.’ He sounded sympathetic, kind even, and I knew he wasn’t, not about this kind of thing. He was the consummate actor when he needed to be, and he had his Ted act down to an Oscar-worthy performance. I still didn’t understand how he did it, but watching Hatfield look at him with her eyes held wide so the tears wouldn’t fall, I watched her buy his sympathy, hook, line, and sinker.

She said, ‘I need to go … do something. I’ll …’ She went for the doors and the outside air. Maybe she needed air, but I was betting she just didn’t want anyone to see her cry. No cop wanted the other cops to see them cry, but as a woman, once you cried at a crime scene you never really lived it down. Throwing up at a crime scene was better than crying at one.

‘What next?’ Dev asked.

‘Kiss Nathaniel and Micah, and then I’d like to finally see the hotel, clean up, and get a few hours of sleep.’

‘I usually have to make you sleep on a job,’ Edward said.

‘Maybe I’m getting old,’ I said.

‘You’re younger than I am,’ he said.

I smiled. ‘Maybe I just got out of the hospital after being shot and spent the last few hours in a brutal fucking battle against killer zombies, and so I’m a little tired.’

He grinned and settled his hat a little lower on his head. ‘A little tired,’ he said.

‘A little tired,’ I said, and smiled.

‘Well, I’m fucking exhausted,’ Nicky said.

‘I thought lions were supposed to have stamina,’ Dev said, and his eyes were wide and innocent, too innocent.

Nicky raised an eyebrow at him. ‘We’ve got more stamina than tigers, but that’s not saying a lot.’

Dev grinned. ‘I can think of one way to prove what cat has the most stamina.’

Nicky grinned back.

‘I don’t know whether to put my fingers in my ears and go la-la-la or find more of your guards so we can take bets,’ Edward said.

I frowned at him.

He grinned, and with all of them grinning at me, what else could I do but grin back. ‘Fine, but I’m not sure I’m up to anything bet-worthy tonight.’

Dev pretended to pout. Nicky just looked smug. I narrowed my eyes at them. ‘Pouting I get, but why smug?’

Nicky grinned again. ‘You’re dead tired, and you just got out of the hospital, and you’ve already fed the ardeur , but you still didn’t say no.’

I rolled my eyes.

He leaned in close and whispered, ‘I love you, too.’

It took me a moment to realize what he was referring to, which let me know just how tired I was, but when my brain caught up to the comment I blushed. Red, hot, to-my-roots blushed, which I’d almost stopped doing.

Nicky laughed, high and delighted. It was such a happy sound that it made people look at us.

‘I haven’t seen you blush like that in years,’ Edward said.

‘Fuck you both,’ I said, and went for the elevator. I was going to see Micah and Nathaniel and then go to the hotel. I might not be as freaked about it as Dev had been, but I could feel thicker things than blood drying on my skin as I moved. I didn’t even want to know how much, or exactly what, was in my hair.

It occurred to me after I’d pressed the button that we were covered in rotting flesh and fresh blood, and Micah’s dad had an open wound that they were leaving open to the air. We couldn’t go near him.

I hit the earpiece and hoped that he and Nathaniel could come down, or out to us. I needed to see them, touch them, and know they were all right with more than just a voice over the telephone. I felt exhausted and yet, weirdly, wasn’t sure I’d be able to sleep. It was like that after a fight sometimes, exhausted but jazzed.

Nathaniel answered the phone. They could come down and say good night. Yay, so very yay! There, the edge of tears now. I didn’t usually get this emotional this soon after the violence, but sometimes it was as if my mind didn’t know how to cope so it kept trying out different strategies – humor, sarcasm, exhaustion, embarrassment, sadness. Once I’d just been numb, that was how I’d survived, but the problem was that in trying to cope with my job I’d become numb to everything. It had been damn depression, and then Jean-Claude had found me and broken down the walls that I’d so carefully built around myself. The good news was that I’d never been happier. The bad news was that in feeling love, I felt other things, too, and some of them were not so good.

The elevator doors opened and Micah and Nathaniel were there and it was everything I could do to not fall into their arms and start to sob. Two things stopped me. One, I’d have gotten zombie bits all over them and then Micah couldn’t have gone back into his father’s room without a shower. Two, if I threw myself into my boyfriend’s arms and sobbed like a freaking girl I’d never live it down. The other cops would see me as a girl, and I needed them to see me as one of the guys, but as I reached out a hand to each of them, rather than flinging myself on them like I wanted to, I wasn’t sure being one of the ‘guys’ was worth it.

The front desk clerk of the very nice hotel took one look at the four of us as we walked through the doors at an hour till dawn and assumed that something was wrong at the hotel. I wanted to see Jean-Claude before dawn, so I didn’t have any patience left for it.

‘We’re just going to our room,’ I said.

He looked us up and down, and his face said clearly he didn’t believe we had a room in his fine establishment. I think the room rate was probably above most cops’ salaries.

It was Edward who touched my shoulder and made me realize I’d taken a step toward the desk clerk. He spoke under his breath. ‘Ease down.’

I tried to swallow past the pulse that was suddenly trying to jump out of my throat. What was wrong with me? I nodded to let him know I’d understood.

It was Dev who smiled and charmed the man, flashing the room card that he had. He’d actually seen the rooms while I was off in the mountains hunting vamps with Nicky and Ares. Thinking his name caused that tightening of the chest, the reaction in the gut that would happen for a while. At least he hadn’t been a lover, and the moment I thought it I felt bad for being relieved that I hadn’t been closer to him, but I was relieved all the same.

We had a suite of rooms, and basically Jean-Claude had taken over a floor of the hotel, which was why we’d invited Edward to come stay the night. There’d be a bed somewhere, or so Dev had said. I might not want him as my backup on a warrant of execution, but I trusted him to report the rooms and the sleeping space available. There are a lot of people I trust to coordinate my life who I wouldn’t trust to guard my life, just as there were people I trusted at my back in a fight who would have sucked at the organization part of things. We all had our skills.