Laurell Hamilton - Affliction

‘I’ll bet they are,’ I said.

He smiled. ‘And if the leader has a reputation for being a very good and very ruthless fighter, then sometimes I kill lesser dominants in the group for insulting me; by most group rules, being disrespectful to a visiting leader can either start a war or I’m within my rights to do it. Watching me use the claws like switchblades unnerves other shapeshifters, and knowing I’m willing to kill over something small makes them afraid of what I’ll do in an official fight.’

‘I know that a lot of alphas can partially change their hands to claws, but yours are more like switchblades, neat and clean, and you might miss it if you blink. You are the best I’ve ever seen at it.’

‘Thank you, I do my best.’

‘But you scare the leaders into negotiating instead of fighting,’ I said.

‘It doesn’t scare them, Anita, or not like you mean. Our culture is different from straight human culture; we value aggression and ruthlessness to a degree that most humans don’t. It’s not just that I’m willing to kill to get them to do what I want, it’s that if they join with us they now know that I’ll do whatever it takes to protect them.’

‘You said you do use champions when you can; who usually?’ I asked.

‘Bram and … Ares did it when they could.’

‘You won’t have Ares to help you fight now,’ I said, and my chest felt tight. I wasn’t sure if it was mourning Ares, or the thought that I’d also killed someone who was keeping Micah safe in more ways than I’d known. I felt stupid and slow and like they’d all been keeping secrets from me.

Micah took my hands again. ‘Don’t do that to yourself, Anita.’

‘Do what?’

‘Don’t beat yourself up about Ares. You did what you had to do.’

I nodded. ‘If I had to do it over again, the only difference would be I’d shoot him when he first asked me to, before he shifted forms. If I’d done that the other cops would be alive and unhurt.’

He squeezed my hands and pulled me toward him, as he leaned over in his chair. He kissed me, and tried for it to be more than just lips, but I pulled back. He frowned at me.

‘What’s wrong? I thought we weren’t going to fight.’

‘I had a breath mint, but I threw up in the bathroom here. I think before we tongue-kiss you might want me to brush my teeth.’

He laughed and pulled me into a hug. ‘God, I love you so much.’

It made me laugh, too. ‘I love you more,’ I said.

He pulled back enough to see my face. ‘They sell toothbrushes in the gift shop.’

‘Are you saying you want to kiss me more?’

‘I want to kiss you as thoroughly as possible before you have to go back to work.’

I grinned. ‘Okay, but first you need to eat and get some water in you.’

He frowned. ‘How did you know I hadn’t eaten?’

‘Because your mother hadn’t, and I think you’re both neglecting the basics?’

The smile faded around the edges. ‘I don’t know what she and Ty are going to do without Dad. I keep thinking what I’d do if something happened to Nathaniel.’

I hugged him to me, putting my face against the braid that our other boy had done for him, and I realized that I was mad at him for not sharing information, but I had some serious info I hadn’t shared yet. ‘You know how you said that if you could you’d marry us both?’

I felt him nod, still cuddled into the hug.

‘Jean-Claude proposed.’

He drew back, so he could see my face. He looked startled. ‘When?’

‘At the hospital.’

‘What did you say?’ he asked.

‘I said yes.’

His face went very still, very careful. ‘That’s wonderful.’

I frowned at him. ‘I know there’s a lot to figure out, but if anyone can do it we can.’

He nodded. ‘Of course you can.’

I frowned harder. ‘Micah, you do understand that he and I talked about a group ceremony, not just Jean-Claude and me.’

‘He is our master, Anita; even if there weren’t Nathaniel he would never let you marry someone else.’

‘I don’t know who I’ll legally marry, only one’s allowed, but he and I talked about a lot of things. Does everyone get a wedding ring? I asked if everybody gets an engagement ring.’

He looked at me with a strange, uncertain smile on his face. ‘What did Jean-Claude say?’

‘That he didn’t know the answers to my very reasonable questions but that I didn’t just tell him no was more than he’d hoped for and that we’d figure it out.’

‘Really, he said that?’

‘He said that if he’d dreamt I’d have said yes, he’d have conspired with the other men in my life and made it the most romantic night of my life, and swept me off my feet.’

His smile was happier then. ‘I can hear him saying that.’

‘I asked him who would be part of the group, and beyond you and Nathaniel we aren’t sure of anyone else, but we’re not sure they aren’t either.’

‘Who else?’

I sighed. ‘I’m worried what Asher would do if he’s not included.’

‘I am not marrying Asher,’ Micah said.

I laughed. ‘I know, me either, but Jean-Claude may feel differently. I don’t know yet. I haven’t had a lot of time to think about it.’

Then I realized I might need to say something else. ‘When I had to leave Nicky down in the basement and I didn’t know what would happen to him, I told him I loved him.’

Micah nodded. ‘Nathaniel and I wondered how long it would take you to figure that out.’

I frowned at him. ‘Did everyone know before me?’ I asked.

‘Everyone but Nicky, and Cynric maybe.’

That made my shoulders slump a little. ‘I’m not sure how Cynric will take the group marriage thing.’

‘If he’s included, he’ll be fine.’

I stared at Micah. ‘You are joking, right?’

‘Why, because he’s young?’

‘No, I mean, yes, I mean … Do you really want to be married to Cynric?’

‘The only two people I want to be married to are you and Nathaniel.’

‘But you’ll marry Jean-Claude; why?’

‘Because he’s our master and you’re his human servant and he introduces me as Our Micah.’

‘How do you feel about that, by the way?’ I asked.

‘I’m not a fan, but he has to do something for the other vampires to make them not feel like you’re cuckolding him with the rest of us. Prestige is very important with the vampires and the lycanthropes. He has to come first for you, or it would damage his power structure, our power structure that we’ve all worked so hard to build.’

‘Is that why you don’t mind the other vampires assuming that you’re Jean-Claude’s lover?’

He nodded. ‘I’m secure, and besides, I am in love with Nathaniel. It’s not like I’m all freaked out about being with another man.’

I leaned back so that we didn’t have our arms around each other. Micah kept my left hand in his, but we sat and looked at each other. We were both being cautious suddenly.

‘So, you, Nathaniel, Jean-Claude, and me, and … who else?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said.

‘Are you in love with anyone else?’

‘No, are you?’ he asked.

‘Nicky, and I love Cynric, but I’m not in love with him. I love Asher, but I’m not in love with him, and since he may force me to kill him someday I’d rather not be.’

He squeezed my hand. ‘I know we’re bringing him home before he ruins everything with the local werehyenas there, but I agree that he may force us to kill him.’

I nodded and felt inexplicably sad. ‘Shouldn’t getting married be happy and not so complicated?’

He laughed. ‘We’re talking about at least four of us in a group marriage and maybe more, Anita; that’s complicated.’