Marie Brennan - Doppelganger

Miryo forced herself to breathe again, and wondered what, if any, of her thoughts had shown on her face.

“You must kill your doppelganger,” Satomi said, not a flicker of an eyelash betraying any emotion other than cool practicality. “This is your task and yours alone. You may enlist others to your aid, but it must be your hand that strikes the blow.

“If you do not kill your doppelganger, then before much longer your magic will kill you. You cannot control it so long as your double exists; its continued life puts yours in danger. Until it dies, you must not use magic save in utmost defense of your life, and even then, be warned that your spell may kill you just as surely. You may not use your magic to kill your doppelganger.

“Once you have accomplished this task, you may return directly to us and take up life as an ordinary sister, choosing a Ray and a Path.”

Only then did Satomi blink. The motion, jarring after the absolute stillness of everything in the hall save her mouth, jolted Miryo. She stared at the Void Prime, looking for words.

But it still was not time for her to speak.

“A horse will be prepared for you, and an escort. You shall have such supplies as you need. In addition, you may choose one witch to be your counsel, answering what remaining questions you have until you depart. Whom do you choose?”

“Ashin-kasora, Aken.”

Miryo didn’t even have to think about it. This was a golden opportunity to get answers from the Hand Key.

Satomi blinked again, once, before answering; that was her only reaction. “Ashin has departed from Starfall on other business. Whom do you choose?”

Gone. Conveniently. And after saying she wanted to talk to me . Miryo controlled her anger. “Narika-kai, Aken.”

“Narika will be your counsel. You will depart in two days. You may wear this.” Satomi extended one arm, and a small object drifted through the air to settle in Miryo’s cupped hands.

It was a pendant, crafted of silver: a three-cornered knot, laced around a thin circular band. Miryo’s breath caught in her throat. Despite my doppelganger—despite everything — I am a witch . Satomi would never give her the triskele sigil unless she had passed. She might not be able to use her magic, but she was a witch.

“Thank you, Aken,” Miryo whispered.

The Primes rose to their feet then, startling Miryo; they had not moved throughout the proceedings. “Go forth and hunt, and return to us as one of our own,” they sang in a unified monotone. Miryo bowed deeply to them and, torn between elation and sick dread, left the hall.

Miryo sat on the edge of her bed and stared at the floor. Around her were small trunks, empty, that she needed to pack; after she left Starfall they would be taken to the New House, where women just past their tests lived until they had homes of their own. On the bed next to her were saddlebags, likewise empty. These she would take with her to hunt her doppelganger.

Her stomach clenched at that thought. She could not imagine killing someone, not with her hands. Magically, maybe; there were always brigands stupid enough to attack witches. But not with a knife. Not that close .

A soft knock made her jump nearly out of her skin. Smoothing her hair back, Miryo took a deep breath and went to answer the door.

Narika was outside. “I expected you would be here,” the witch said. “May I come in?”

She would never have asked permission before. It was another sign that Miryo was, despite her difficulties, a witch. The victory, sought ever since Miryo could remember, tasted like ashes in her mouth. “Please,” she said woodenly, and opened the door wider.

Narika eyed the empty trunks and saddlebags, but did not comment. Miryo gestured for her to take the chair, and sat on the bed herself. At least she could sit, now; once she would have stood for the whole conversation.

“Satomi-aken told me of your situation,” Narika said. “Do you have any questions?”

Miryo stared at the floor for a long moment, trying to focus her thoughts. They ran about like confused mice, chasing themselves in little circles. With an effort she brought them together, and asked the first thing that came into her mind. “Does this happen often?”

“No,” Narika said grimly. “You did well to pick me; a lot of witches don’t know much about this. But it’s something my Path is familiar with, though not even all of us. You might have done better to ask one of my sisters in the Void Ray, but I can tell you almost everything we know.”

“How did it happen to me ?” Miryo said. It came out almost as a wail.

“No one knows. Perhaps your mother simply made a mistake. I didn’t know Kasane well, but she never struck me as one so overwhelmed by sentimentality that she wouldn’t be able to kill an empty shell. She knew the consequences of letting it live all too well. Every witch who has a daughter knows that.”

“Do you think she knew, though? That it was alive?”

“Who can say? Kasane never gave any sign that she did, at least not that anyone has admitted.”

Miryo tried to ask her next question, but felt her throat close up, blocking the words. She swallowed hard, disgusted with her own pitiful wailing. For the love of the Goddess — if I can’t even discuss this without falling apart, how do I expect to go after my doppelganger? At this rate, I’ll not be able to see it through the tears, even if it were in front of me . Miryo swallowed again and squared her chin. “How am I to find it?”

Narika sighed. “It could, in theory, be anywhere. You have at least one advantage: It will look exactly like you. So you can circulate a description, or even a sketch, to help track it down.”

“That could take forever.”

“It’s possible. But I believe—although this is mostly speculation—that it won’t be quite so difficult as you think. You and your doppelganger are joined in some way we don’t fully understand; it’s this joining that puts you in danger. But it can also work for you. I think that, if you trust your instinct, you’ll find yourself traveling in the right direction.”

“But you don’t know for sure.”

“No. I don’t.”

Miryo considered this for a moment. No immediate path of travel leapt to mind; she felt as lost as before. “I don’t know if you can answer this—you said not all of this is understood—but what is it about my doppelganger that is dangerous?”

“It prevents you from controlling your magic.”

“I know that,” Miryo said, curbing her impatience. “But tow?”

Narika sighed again. “In short, because it’s a part of you, though separate from you. Controlling power takes perfect concentration, and your doppelganger is a part of you that you cannot focus at will. Thus your control is not strong enough.”

“Even though it can’t work magic.”

“Even so. And you must hurry because—as you will, unfortunately, discover—though Satomi-aken has forbidden you to cast spells, her order will be hard to follow. Can you feel it?” Narika’s eyes bored into Miryo. “Can you feel the power around you?”

Miryo swallowed painfully. Yes, she could. She’d been trying to ignore it. The power witches channeled came from the world around them; she could sense it with every breath she took, every touch of her hand against an object.

“Don’t reach for it,” Narika told her grimly. “You’ve been warned about the consequences. But that’ll be hard to remember when you find yourself in trouble.

“You must be vigilant against this. Small spells you might work without terrible backlash—if you’re lucky—but fine control is something that takes time to acquire. You would likely turn yourself into a human torch when you meant to light a candle.”