Ian Doescher - William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return

Nay, nay, ’tis not as thou dost think, good Han.
Let not thy visions run amok with thee,
But hear these words that must fall strangely on
Thine ears: he is my brother, dost thou see?

N’yubba, yubba,
Heezur brubba,
Yoozur luvva,
Nyubba, nyubba.

[ sings: ] O revelation kind, my heart doth swell—
A’merrily my feet do trip!
My Leia’s mine, and I am hers as well.
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
Though Leia and myself did fear the worst,
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Good Luke is safe from Death Star’s mighty burst.
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
We all are safe from that dire threat above—
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Thus end our wars with thoughts of blissful love!
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!
Our rebel crew hath won the victory,
A’merrily my feet do trip!
Thus sing together, worthy company!
Sing ho, sing hi, sing heigh!

The fun’ral pyre shall light my father’s way
To glory out beyond the galaxy.
His final journey shall not be by ship,
But by the smoke that lifts into the air.

Rise up, my father—take thy closing flight.
Rise up, my father—stretch toward the sun.
Rise up, my father—man of tragedy,
Rise up, my father—rise, and thus be free.
Now is my heart full heavy, burden’d with
Such muddl’d thoughts that strain my very soul.
Methinks I should be happy, should rejoice
At our sure victory, the Empire crush’d.
Yet how can I make merry when the man
I hardly knew—the father I had wish’d
For years to meet—is come and gone like wind?
O trick of Fortune, cruel-minded Fate!
O wherefore mock at all my hope, my life?
Am I a simple pawn with which thou play’st?
Or hast thou e’er a purpose had for me?
But stop thy tongue now, Luke, thou art misled—
Aye, even as I rant I see my fault.
For why should I blame Fate for thievery
When it was Fate, indeed, that did decree
That I would meet my father, that we two
Would reunite with joy ere he did die?
Should I not thank the blessèd Fate that knit
This fascinating cord of life for me?
I have seen stars, and space, and battles, too,
Have had adventures grand with noble friends,
And at the last, have met my father. Nay,
Not only met, but witness’d his rebirth.
And therefore, I declare with gratitude
That I do thank the Fate that brought me here,
E’en to this tragic pyre on which he’s laid.
Now this is sure: whate’er befall me now,
I am a better man for having known
The one whose name I bear: e’en Anakin.

The rebels meet with joy to celebrate,
Their singing and their music fill the air.
The Empire is defeated in its hate,
And now Rebellion takes its respite rare.
The Jedi Luke looks up and sees three men—
Their countenances shine in bluish light—
’Tis Yoda, Obi-Wan, and Anakin
Who come e’en from the grave to share this night.
All who did fight together come as one,
And give unto each other their embrace.
O’er this scene merry falls the setting sun;
Not till ’tis day shall they the future face.

Our mouths with mirth and laughter raise a din,
Our feet with glee and triumph stomp the ground,
Our bodies are awake and full of life,
Our souls are heal’d from Empire’s treachery.

New hope did guide our first adventures, aye,
Until the Empire harshly struck us back,
But then our noble Jedi hath return’d
And all ensur’d our victory was won.

We stop, e’en as our epic play doth end,
To thank thee for thy gracious company.
Our star wars now are ended, for a time—
The song of peace bursts forth in perfect rhyme.

Even thus, our tale is finish’d.
Pardon if your hope’s diminish’d—
If you did not find the sequel
Satisfying. If unequal
Our keen play is unto others,
Do not part in anger, brothers.
Ears, attend: I know surprises,
Visions of all shapes and sizes.
In some other times and places
It may be Rebellion faces
Certain dangers that may sever
Our strong bonds that held us ever.
Mayhap something compromising,
Even like an Empire Rising.
Thus present I our conclusion:
Hint of Fate, or Fool’s illusion?

A buki buki,
Luki, luki,
Issa creecher,
Nuki, nuki!