Ian Doescher - William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back

These blasts and great commotion indicate
Skywalker’s recent advent unto Bespin.
This great upheaval his arrival makes
Doth grant me the diversion that I seek
To call upon my man-at-arms for help.

O Luke, pray fly! ’Tis but a trap! A trap!
Flee now, dear friend, ere thou art captur’d too.

But what is this? ’Tis Leia in distress!
Yet here, beset by blasts, I’ll not prevail.

Auugh!

—Aye, well done, my aide! Pray, put them in
The tower most secure, and be ye quiet!

...

[ aside: ] O, will he play the hero now? A fig!
[ To Lando: ] What is in thy imagination, man?

We shall depart at once.

[ aside: ]—I knew ’twas thus,
A regular misunderstanding.

—Auugh!

[ choking: ] I had no choice!

—What is this foolishness?
Pray, trust him!

—Aye, we understand, thou knave,
Thou didst have neither choice nor will to act.
Thou brute! Imperi’l officers act by
Their Lord’s command and blind obedience,
The bounty hunter is well paid for his
Nefari’us actions, e’en Darth Vader and
The Emperor are fully driven by
Their power, aye! But shalt thou say thou hadst
No choice? What lily-liver’d weak excuse
Is this? At least assume thy stature as
A man, and here confess thy shameful deeds!
We’ll give thee opportunity to ’fess
Thy wrongs before thou diest at Chewie’s hand.

[ choking: ] I did but try to help.

—We do not need
Thy help, thou whoreson, senseless villain!

[ choking: ]—Han!

What didst thou say?

—It sounded like a “Han!”

[ choking: ] There may yet be a chance we can save Han.
The bounty hunter’s ship, the platform east.

Pray, Chewie, let him go.

—My ferventest
Apologies for this, good Sir. See, he
Is but a Wookiee, ignorant and plain.

[ aside: ] I have been separated from my master.
Yet happy circumstance, for here I see
The others, and may now rejoin them.

O R2, R2, say, where hast thou been?
It does me well to see thee, little droid.
Yet prithee, haste thee, for we all now strive
To save our captain from the clutches of
The bounty hunter!

—Meep, beep, whistle, squeak!

At least thou art still in one piece—observe
My sad fragmented fate!

[ aside: ]—O flown, alack!
My Han—his body flown and fled. Now break
My heart, and weep mine eyes. A princess I
May be, but first and foremost human with
Emotions that betray my higher sense.
O gracious Han, forgive that I did come
To love thee late, and only then to lose thee.
I’ll find thee in the stars, my Han—I’ll search
The galaxy until I find thee.

—O!
[ To Chewbacca: ] Pray, Chewie, look, they come behind thee!

The soldiers are dispatch’d; now let us go.
A princess doth command thee, Lando: make
Thy choice once and for all whom thou shalt serve.
Wilt thou remain the Empire’s stooge, or shalt
Thou go with us to serve rebellion’s cause?

Good lady, this demand is fairly made.
Forgive me of the things I’ve done, I pray,
And I shall fly with thee and serve thee true.
But first, let me a final action take
To serve the Bespinites I love so well—
One moment for the greater good. [ Into comlink: ] Hear ye,
’Tis Lando of Calrissian who speaks.
The Empire doth control the city now—
I do advise ye all: evacuate
At once, before more troops arrive within.

[ To Princess Leia: ] This door shall lead us to the Falcon, but
The codes have chang’d. I know not how!

—R2,
Thou canst o’erride the door’s security.
Pray, R2, speed thee!

—Beep, meep, whistle, beep!

O blame me not, I am interpreter,
And know not power socket from computer!