Ian Doescher - William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back

A perfect touch this is, to freeze Skywalker.
The plan is perfect—he who hath destroy’d
The Death Star shall be packag’d as a gift.
But now, let us inspect the details. Aye,
This crude contraption should be adequate
To put this vexing Skywalker on ice
Ere his deliv’ry to the Emperor.

Lord Vader—there’s a ship that doth approach,
An X-wing class.

—’Tis well. Watch Skywalker,
Allow his landing, let him hither come.

Lord Vader, this facility has ne’er
Been us’d for humans, only carbon freezing.
If thou dost put him in this vast machine
It may not freeze him, but may mean his death.

This is a point that I consider’d not.
It seems, Calrissian, that thou dost learn
To be obedient unto thy Lord.
’Tis well, and it is in thine interest.
I do not wish him harm’d; the Emperor
Shall not enjoy a damag’d prize. So shall
Another stand for him to be a test—
We shall make Captain Solo undergo
The freezing process first, to test its pow’r.

Fear not, thy hunt shall have its bounty still.
Thou shalt be compensated if he dies.

[ to Chewbacca: ] I almost fully am restor’d to my
Old self, except thy work is not complete.
If thou had but attach’d my legs, I would
Not yet remain in this position rare!
I prithee, good Chewbacca, do recall
That I am thy responsibility—
Do not in any instance foolish be!

[ to Lando: ] Pray tell, O dearest friend, what is at hand?

Thou shalt be plac’d in total carbon freeze.

[ aside: ] The news of my grim fate doth chill my blood.
O, how I once thought Hoth was cold and bleak,
Yet now I pine for all its balmy plains.

Now, put him in!

—Chewie, stop, I pray!

Alas, yes, stop! I am not set to die!

This cannot help me, brave Chewbacca, nay.
I prithee, save thy strength to fight again.
Attend me now: the princess—thou must be
Her strength, her stay, her guard, her confidence:
These things that I no longer can bestow.

O, I do love thee wholly, Han.

—I know.

Pray, turn around, Chewbacca, let me see.
O, he in carbonite hath been encas’d—
He should be well protected, if he hath
Surviv’d the freezing process.

—Make report,
Calrissian, is he alive?

—He is,
And rests in perfect hibernation here.

The prize is thine now, bounty hunter Fett.
Take him to Jabba, with my gratitude.

Reset the chamber for young Skywalker—
He shall the next a’freezing undergo.

Skywalker’s ship hath just made landing, Lord.

’Tis well, and be thou sure he hither comes—
Put him upon the path that leads him here.

Calrissian, take thou the princess and
The Wookiee to my ship, and there remain.

Nay, thou didst say they would in Bespin dwell—
With me, under my supervision keen.
How canst thou bargain thus? ’Tis always thy
Side of the deal that doth improve. What shalt
Thou give to me to make this deal worthwhile?

Seek not to deal thyself a winning hand.
The Empire shall not e’er play by thy rules.
By my command, the deal is alterèd.
In all thy orisons thou mayst yet plead
The deal no further alterèd will be.

[ sings: ] Auugh, egh, auugh, auugh egh. Auugh, muh, muh,
Egh, egh, auugh, egh, egh, muh, muh.
Auugh, auugh, egh, auugh, muh, egh, muh, muh,
Muh, wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[ sings: ] Full fathom five my lover lies,
Within an icy tomb,
They say he lives, yet my heart dies,
Sing wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[ sings: ] Egh, auugh, auugh, auugh, egh, egh, muh, muh,
Auugh, egh, egh, auugh, auugh, muh, muh.
Egh, auugh, auugh, grrm, auugh, egh, muh, muh,
Muh, wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

[ sings: ] Now he is gone, and so’s my life,
All frozen in a moment.
He my seiz’d lov’d one, I his strife,
Sing wroshyr, wroshyr, wroshyr.

Yes, now am I in Bespin—more fool I,
For though my feelings say this is the place,
I know not yet for certain if it be.
My friends I have not heard from, hide nor hair,
And yet the Force doth call in clearest tones
As if to say: “Here lies thy destiny!”

But wait, what’s this? Procession most sincere,
And with such maimèd rites? This doth betoken
The corpse they follow was an enemy.
These Bespin guards do make odd pallbearers;
This scene is verily a sign of ill.

Aha! It seems that I expected am—
This then must be the place my vision saw.
The Force hath led me here by prophet’s hand—
I shall pursue the fiend most ardently,
Belike he shall lead me unto my mates.