Sam Shepard: The god of hell: a play

HAYNES

: Do you mind if I have a piece of bacon? It smells so good.

FRANK

: It’s burnt.

HAYNES

: I don’t mind. I like it crispy.

FRANK

: Help yourself.

(HAYNES goes to stove, takes bacon, sips coffee .)

HAYNES

: Well, what are they soliciting, these solicitors?

FRANK

: Protein lick, calf booster, ivermectin, steroid tags, lactose, dehorners, lice powder—you name it.

HAYNES

: Never occurred to me there’d be salesmen out here.

FRANK

: Why not? There’s salesmen everywhere. Every time you turn around there’s another salesman. Whole country’s made of salesmen.

HAYNES

: Yeah, I guess.

(HAYNES crosses to windows with coffee and bacon, stands in front of plants, looking out .)

Well, I just hope I’m not intruding here. I mean, I didn’t mean to cause any tension.

FRANK

: There’s no tension. What makes you think that?

HAYNES

: I don’t know—

FRANK

: There’s no tension here. We’re in the country here. Everything’s quiet and peaceful.

HAYNES

: Well, I just really appreciate you and your wife letting me stay here, Frank.

FRANK

: You’d do the same for me.

HAYNES

: I would. You bet. The situation back there just got—very complicated.

FRANK

: Situation?

HAYNES

: Yeah. You know—

FRANK

: Oh, you mean back there in Rocky Buttes or whatever you call it.

(HAYNES wheels around suddenly to FRANK. Just stares at him .)

What?

HAYNES

: Where’d you hear that name?

FRANK

: What, Rocky Buttes?

HAYNES

: Don’t say that name!

FRANK

: That’s what you told me on the phone.

HAYNES

: I never told you that. That’s not something I would have told you. It’s top secret! Does she know?

FRANK

: Who?

HAYNES

: Your wife! Emma. Does she know?

FRANK

: What?

HAYNES

: The name!

FRANK

: Rocky Buttes?

(HAYNES leaps toward FRANK, grabbing him by the shoulders and covering his mouth .)

HAYNES

: Stop saying that name! I told you not to say it! What’s the matter with you? That was one of the first things I told you on the phone. That was one of our contingencies. Wasn’t it?

(FRANK can’t answer with HAYNES ’s hand over his mouth .)

Wasn’t it?!

(HAYNES releases him. Pause . FRANK wipes his mouth .)

FRANK

: You better settle down, Graig.

HAYNES

: I’m sorry.

FRANK

: We lead a very peaceful life here. We’re in the country. We’re dairy farmers.

HAYNES

: I’m sorry. I just can’t take any chances. Maybe, after this thing blows over—

FRANK

: What thing?

HAYNES

: This whole—crisis.

FRANK

: Are we talking about a world situation or something personal, Graig?

HAYNES

: What’s the difference?

( Pause . HAYNES rubs his arms from the cold. He moves to windows and looks out over the fields below .)

God, it’s cold.

FRANK

: Yeah. You’ll get used to it.

HAYNES

: Are those your cows down there below?

FRANK

: They’re not cows. They’re replacement heifers.

HAYNES

: Oh—

FRANK

: Those are my babies.

HAYNES

: What are they replacing?

FRANK

: Older cows. Retired cows.

HAYNES

: Oh, I see. Yeah, I remember.

FRANK

: They haven’t had a calf yet. Every year you save some back.

HAYNES

: Unbred?

FRANK

: Exactly. The mama cows are up in the top pasture.

HAYNES

: So you’re going to breed them then, is that it? These replacement heifers?

FRANK

: I plan to. Yes.

HAYNES

: You’ve got the bull?

FRANK

: He’s out back.

HAYNES

: What are you waiting for?

FRANK

: Spring.

( Pause . HAYNES keeps staring out window .)

HAYNES

: Do you know what plutonium is named after, Frank?

FRANK

: What? Plutonium?

HAYNES

: Yes.

FRANK

: No—what?

HAYNES

: Pluto—the god of hell.

FRANK

: Oh—I thought he was a cartoon.

HAYNES

: Do you know how long it remains radioactive and biologically dangerous once it’s released into the atmosphere?

FRANK

: Plutonium?

HAYNES

: Yes.

FRANK

: No, I don’t know anything about it.

HAYNES

: Five hundred thousand years.

FRANK

: That’s a long time.

HAYNES

: It is. The most carcinogenic substance known to man. It causes mutations in the genes of the reproductive cells. The eggs and the sperm. Major mutations. A

kind of random compulsory genetic engineering that goes on and on and on and on.

FRANK

: That would probably affect my heifers then, wouldn’t it?

HAYNES

: Yes, it would, Frank. It definitely would affect your heifers. It would affect every heifer within six hundred miles of here. It would penetrate the food chain and bio-accumulate thousands of times over, lasting generation after generation. Tasteless, odorless, and invisible.

FRANK

: Is that what this is all about, Graig? Is that why you had to come out here? This random, compulsory genetic thing?

( Long pause . HAYNES stares out window .)

HAYNES

: Looks like your man is back.

FRANK

: What?

HAYNES

: Your stranger. Is that him down there?

FRANK

: I never saw him. What’s he doing?

(FRANK moves fast to window, looks out .)

HAYNES

: That’s probably him.

FRANK

: What’s he doing down there?

HAYNES

: Looks like he’s walking around with your heifers.

FRANK

: In the pen? He’s in the pen with my heifers?

HAYNES

: Looks like. Isn’t he right inside there with them?

FRANK

: I’ll be right back.

HAYNES

: Be careful, Frank. You don’t know this guy.

(FRANK rushes out on porch, grabs his coat, and exits . HAYNES watches him cross window outside . EMMA appears in half-light of archway by kitchen. She just stands there staring at HAYNES. HAYNES turns toward her. Pause .)

What’s that dripping sound?

EMMA

: The plants. I overwater them. I can’t help myself.

(HAYNES smiles. He reaches out and touches one of EMMA s plants. Again, the brilliantly bright flash of blue light comes from his hand . HAYNES jumps back. Black out .)

Scene Two

Same set: Next morning . EMMA going through same routine—watering plants, back and forth to the sink with the pitcher HAYNES sits on couch with his back partially to audience, sipping coffee, watching EMMA. Pause for a while as EMMA just waters and HAYNES just sips .

EMMA

: (

continuing to water

) You’re up bright and early.

HAYNES

: Yes—where’s Frank?

EMMA

: Feeding the heifers. He’s always feeding the heifers.

HAYNES

: He seems very devoted to them.

EMMA

: He is. It’s his life’s work.

HAYNES

: I’m glad to see he’s finally found something.

EMMA

: Yes. You two must have gone very different ways.

HAYNES

: How do you mean?

EMMA

: Well, I mean—your work—your research.

HAYNES

: My research?

EMMA

: Yes. Whatever it is—I don’t know. It’s different.

HAYNES

: Different than what?

EMMA

: Frank. Different than what Frank chose.