David Larson - The Myth of the Anal Probe

Mike walked through the front doors and into the foyer. He had no idea if classes were in or out. Or if kids were walking between classes. He walked down the same corridor he and Tawny had a few days ago. Mike smiled politely at some of the adults that shot him inquisitive looks. Mike was on a mission, and Willy Wonka could have handed him a gobstopper and he wouldn’t have noticed anything odd about it.

He continued through the back of the hallway and out into the courtyard where he and Tawny had seen the botany classes. Mike stood there confused for a little while. He didn’t remember there being so many choices in doorways lining the courtyard before. But then about the only thing that he did notice at the time was Tawny.

“What the hell,” he thought. “I’ll just start here at the first one and keep going until I find what I’m looking for.”

Mike walked through the first door and started down the hallway. All the classrooms he looked in seemed to have a lot of older kids in them. All of them had lab equipment lining the walls. Mike turned around and walked back out into the court yard. The next door took him into a hallway that was lined with lecture halls. What looked to be graduate students were listening to various speakers that seemed to be talking about physics.

He walked back out into the court yard again.

“Is there something I could do for you,” a man said from behind Mike. “You seem to be lost.”

“Oh, yeah,” Mike said “I was here a few days ago with Tawny. I’m just trying to get my bearings.”

“I remember you,” the man said. “You’re Mike, right?”

“Yep,” Mike said. “Where are the younger children? The three-year olds?”

The man smiled a little nervously.

“Why would you ask me that?” He said cautiously.

“Oh,” Mike said. “I’m sorry. I’m looking for her son, Axel. I guess I should have told you that to begin with. Otherwise I guess this might look a little weird.”

“Yeah,” the man said, “just a little. Why are you looking for Axel specifically?”

“Oh, he and I only had a limited amount of time to spend together the other day. I just want to get to know him a little better is all.”

Mike was getting tired of this back and forth bullshit.

“Thanks,” he said dismissing the man, “I can find him on my own.”

And he started to walk away.

“That might not be such a good idea,” the man said as he hurried after Mike.

“That’s cool,” mike said over his shoulder. “I got this. Thanks.”

The man hurried to catch up.

“I think you should come back with someone,” the man said. “Tawny, maybe.”

Mike walked through another door and recognized he was in the right place. The man caught up to him and touched him on the shoulder.

“I really don’t think this is a good idea,” the man said.

A man and two women were walking down the hall from the other end. They looked worried. The man that had been following Mike shrugged and raised his eyebrows.

“Can we help you with something?” the woman asked.

“No,” Mike said. “Like I told this guy… I’m fine.”

“Maybe if you told us what you were interested in…”

“I said I was good,” Mike said getting clearly irritated with the people that were trying to thwart his plans to make his relationship with Tawny stronger.

“Jesus!” he said, “What’s with you people? I thought everybody was so damned liberated here. I said I just want to talk to the kid.”

“I think it would be better if you left now,” one of them said.

“And I think it’d be better if you got out of my way…” Mike insisted.

“Hey buddy,” a familiar voice said from behind him.

Mike turned around to see Bob with that ever-present smile. That look on Bob’s face was really starting to irritate Mike.

“What are you doing here?” Mike asked.

“I heard you were kind of lost at the children’s center,” he said “I thought I’d mosey on down here and see if there was anything I could help with.”

“I figured you weren’t here to see Axel,” Mike said darkly.

“I keep telling you brother,” Bob said, “It ain’t like that around here.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s your son,” Mike said. “You still have responsibilities.”

“You’re creating an issue where there isn’t one,” Bob said in a soothing tone that was simply pissing Mike off more. “Why don’t we just go someplace where we can talk about this?”

“I’m not an idiot, Bob. I can see that all you really want to do, is keep me away from your kid. Is it because you still have feelings for Tawny? Are you trying to get back with her? Use Axel to pry your way back into her life?” I bet that’s exactly what it is.”

The people that had confronted Mike in the first place were standing around with confused looks on their faces. One of them actually reached up, turned his translator off, and then on again to make sure it was working. The words that Mike was saying were coming in clear enough but they didn’t make any sense at all.

“I can see why you might think that, buddy,” Bob said. “Believe me I do. I just think that your feelings for her might be clouding your judgement a little. That’s all. Seriously, how about we just go someplace where we can talk.”

“I get it just fine,” Mike said in a slow measured tone that had exactly the opposite affect intended on the people watching the confrontation. “We don’t have to go anyplace. All you’re going to do is explain why she’s better off with you.”

Mike turned around and started walking back towards the tram stop. Then he stopped and turned around addressing Bob.

“This isn’t over by a long shot,” he said. Then he turned and left.

Bob shoved his hands in his pockets and watched Mike stalk off.

“I got a bad feeling about this one,” he said. “A bad feeling.”

Tawny was standing in Mike’s home and it was clear that she was worried. Mike was doing everything he could to ensure her that she had nothing to worry about.

“I just don’t understand why you would have gone to the children’s center alone,” she said.

“And I don’t understand if I’m free to move around this place by myself or not,” Mike said defensively. “Everyplace I’ve gone until now, I’ve conveniently had someone go with me. At first I just thought it was so I could have things explained to me. I’m beginning to see now that it was so people could keep an eye on me.”

“That’s not it at all, Mike,” she said pleading. “You can go anyplace you want to. It’s just that when you go walking around the children’s center looking for one specific child it looks like you might have an ulterior motive.”

“How about if I went to the facilitators building by myself,” he said. “What if I went there by myself looking specifically for Serilda? Would that seem like I had an ulterior motive. Would I be confronted by your ex-lover there as well?”

Tawny just stood there, completely unarmed against a total full-on assault of irrational thought.

“Yeah,” Mike said. “I didn’t think so.”

“Can’t you see,” he continued, “I was trying to bond with your son so you would understand how serious I am about you. Can’t you see how much I love you?”

Tawny was blown away. She had made enough trips to Earth to understand the gravity of what Mike was actually saying now. She understood that having a sexual relationship with him was the single biggest mistake she had ever made. She thought that if she simply explained that to him he would understand, and things could get back to normal until he went back to earth.