Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

MYTH-ING PERSONS 155

looked as if the builder had suddenly added the adorn-

ment in a last-minute attempt to have his work stand as

tall or taller than its neighbors. From the number of

windows in the main structure, I guessed it was an

apartment building or a hotel or something. In short, it

looked like it had a lot of little rooms. I found myself

wondering exactly how our strike force was supposed to

locate their target without kicking in every door in the

place ... a possibility I wouldn't put past Aahz.

I was about to express this fear to Massha when a

loud crash sounded from within.

"What was that?" I demanded of no one in par-

ticular.

"Sounded like a loud crash," my apprentice supplied

helpfully.

I forced myself to remember 'that no one out here

knew any more about what was going on inside than I

did.

After the crash, everything was quiet once more. I

tried to tell myself that the noise might have nothing at

all to do with the strike force, but I didn't believe it for a

minute. The crowd was talking excitedly to each other

and straining to see the various windows. They seemed

quite confident that something else would happen soon,

much more than I, but then again, maybe as city dwel-

lers they were more accustomed to such vigils than I.

Suddenly, Tananda appeared in the doorway.

"Did they come out this way?" she called.

"No one's been in or out since you went in," I re-

sponded.

She swore and started to re-enter the building.

"What happened?" I shouted desperately.

"We nailed one of them, but Vic got away. He's loose

in the building somewhere, and he's got the girl with

him."

156 Robert Asprin

MYTH-ING PERSONS

157

With that, she disappeared before I could make any

further inquiries.

Terrific.

"Exciting, eh?" Pepe said. "I tell you, I could watch

such a chase for hours."

"Well, I can't," I snapped. "I've had it with sitting

on the sidelines. Massha? I'm going in there. Want to

come?"

"I dunno. Hot Stuff. I'd like to, but somebody

should be here to plug this escape route."

"Fine. You wait here, and I'll...."

I turned to enter the building and bumped headlong

intoVilhelm.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded, not really

caring.

The Dispatcher shook his head slightly to clear it.

Being smaller, he had gotten the worse ofour collision.

"I'm here with the witnesses, remember? I was sup-

posed to bring them."

, "You were supposed to send them. Oh well, where

are they?"

"Right here," he said, gesturing to a sullen group of

vampires standing behind him. "This is Kirby, and

Paul, and Richard, and Adele, and Scott... some of

the most respected citizens in town. Convince them and

you're home free."

Looking at the group, I suddenly realized how Aahz

had ended up on death row. If the jury had been any-

thing like these specimens, they would have hung their

own mothers for jaywalking. While I didn't relish the

thought of trying to convince them of anything, I found

myself being very glad I didn't have to deal with them

on a regular basis.

"Okay. So we're here," the one identified as Kirby

growled. "Just what is it we're supposed to be wit-

nessing? If this is one of your cockamamie deals, Vil-

helm...."

I interrupted simply by taking my sunglasses off and

opening my eyes wide, displaying their whites. The bad

reputation of humans in this dimension was sufficient to

capture their undivided attention.

"Perhaps you recall a certain murder trial that took

place not too long ago?" I said, trying to work the

toothblack off with my tongue. "Well, the convicted

murderer who escaped is my partner, and right now he's

inside that building. He and a few of our friends are

about to show you one surprisingly lively corpse...

specifically the fellow that my partner is supposed to

have killed. I trust that will be sufficient to convince you

of his innocence?"

While the vampires were taken aback by my presence

in their midst, they recovered quickly. Like I said, they

were real hard cases and didn't stay impressed very

long.

"So how much time is this going to take?" Kirby said

impatiently. "I'm giving up my sleep for this, and I

don't get much of it."

That was a good question, so, not having an answer, I

stalled.

"You sleep nights? I thought...."

"I'm a day owl," the vampire waved. "It's easier to

get my work done when the phone isn't ringing every

five minutes... which usually means waiting until

everyone else is asleep. But we're getting off the subject.

The bottom line is that my time is valuable, and the

same holds true for my colleagues. If you think we're

going to just stand around here until...."

There was a sudden outcry from the crowd, and we all

looked to find them talking excitedly and pointing up at

the roof.

158

Robert Asprin

A figure had emerged, fighting to pick his way across

the steeply sloped surface while dragging a struggling

girl by one arm.

Vic!

This was the first time I had gotten a clear look at my

foe, and I was moderately surprised. He was younger

than I had expected, barely older than myself, and in-

stead of a menacing cloak, he was sporting a white

turtleneck and sunglasses. It suddenly occurred to me

that if sunglasses enabled me to pass for a vampire, that

they would also let a vampire pass undetected among

humans.

The vampire suddenly stopped as his path was barred

by Tananda, who appeared as if by magic over the

edge of the roof. He turned to retrace his steps, only to

find that the trio of Aahz, Guido, and Chumley had

emerged behind him, cutting off his retreat.

"I believe, gentlemen and lady, that up there is the

elusive body that started this whole thing," I heard

myself saying. "If you can spare a few more moments, I

think my colleagues will have him in custody so that you

might interrogate him at your leisure."

"Don't be too sure of that. High Roller," Massha

cautioned. "Look!"

His chosen routes of escape cut off. Vic was now

scrabbling up the roof peak itself, Luanna hanging in

his grip. While I had to admire his strength, I was a. a

loss to understand what he was trying to accomplish

with the manuever. It was obvious that he had been ex-

posed, so why didn't he just give it up?

The answer became apparent in the next few mo-

ments. Reaching the apex of the roof, the vampire

underwent a chilling metamorphosis. Before the strike

force could reach him, he hunched forward and huge

MYTH-ING PERSONS

159

batwings began to grow and spread from his back. His

plans gone awry, he was getting ready to escape.

In immediate response to his efforts, Tananda and

Guido both produced projectile weapons and shouted

something to him. Though the distance was too great to

make out the words clearly, it was obvious to me that

they were threatening to shoot him down if he tried to

take to the air.

"We may have a murder case yet," Kirby murmured,

squinting to watch the rooftop drama unfold.

"Murder?" I exclaimed, turning on him. "How can

you call it murder if they're only trying to keep from

escaping your justice? "

"That wasn't what I meant," the vampire said, never

taking his eyes from the action. "Check it out."