Robert Asprin - Mything Persons

still alive and all. If you're taking advantage of my good

nature to get me involved in something crooked...."

"He's alive," I assured him. "I've seen him myself

since we were here last... but you didn't answer the

question. What was that you were saying about what

would happen if we took hours to plan the jailbreak?"

The Dispatcher shrugged.

"I suppose you guys know what you're doing and I

should keep my mouth shut, but I was getting a little

worried. I mean, it's sundown already, and if you're

going to make your move before the execution, it had

better be soon."

"How do you figure that?" I frowned. "The action

isn't slated until high midnight. I had figured on waiting

a while until it was dark and things quieted down

around town a little."

"Are you kidding?" the vampire said with a start, his

eyebrows going up to his hairline. "That's when ... oh,

I get it. You're still thinking in terms of your off-

96 Robert Asprin

dimension timetables. You've got to ... umm, you

might want to be sitting down for this, Skeeve."

"Lay it on me," I said, rubbing my forehead again.

"What have I overlooked now? Even without the blind-

fold and the cigarette I'd just as soon take the bad news

standing up."

"Well, you've got to remember that you're dealing

with a city of vampires here. Sundown is the equivalent

of dawn to us. That's when things start happening, not

when they start winding down! That means...."

"... that high midnight is a major traffic time and

the longer we wait, the more people there will be on the

street," I said, trying to suppress a groan.

Once the basic oversight had been pointed out, I

could do my own extrapolations... with all their hor-

rible consequences. Trying to fight back my own panic,

I turned to my assistants.

"Okay, troops. We're on. Guido, grab that rope you

saw. We may need it before this is over."

The bodyguard's eyes widened with astonishment.

"You mean we're going to start the caper right now?

But Boss! We haven't planned... ."

"Hey, Guido," I said, flashing a grin that was almost

sane. "You were the one who said that overplanning

was a problem. Well, if you're right, this should be the

most successful jailbreak ever!"

"Nice jail. Looks strong.'

—H. HOUDINI

VILHELM was right about one thing. The streets were

nowhere nearly as crowded as they had been the times

we navigated their length well after sundown. Only a

few stray beings wandered here and there, mostly mak-

ing deliveries or sweeping down the sidewalks in front of

their shops prior to opening. Except for the lack of

light, the streets looked just like any town preparing for

a day's business....hat and the red eyes of the citizens.

We hugged the light as we picked our way across

town....

That's right. I said "hugged the light." I try to only

make the same mistake a dozen times. In other dimen-

sions, we would have "hugged the dark" to avoid being

noticed or recognized. Here, we "hugged the light."

Don't laugh. It worked.

Anyway, as we picked our way through the streets of

Blut, most of my attention was taken up with the task of

trying to map a good getaway route. Getting Aahz out

97

98 Robert Asprin

of jail I would deal with once we got there. Right now I

was worried about what we would do once we had him

out... a major assumption, I know, but I had so little

optimism that I clung to what there was with all fours.

The three of us looked enough like vampires in ap-

pearance to pass casual inspection. There was no way,

however, that we could pass off my scaly green partner

as a native without a disguise spell, and I wasn't about

to bet on having any magical energy left after springing

Aahz. As such, I was constantly craning my neck to peer

down sidestreets and alleys, hoping to find a little-

traveled route by which we could spirit our fugitive col-

league out of town without bringing the entire populace

down on our necks. By the time we reached our destina-

tion, I was pretty sure I could get us back to the Dis-

patcher's by the route we were following, and positively

sure that if I tried to take us there by the back routes, I

would get us totally and helplessly lost.

"Well, Boss. This is it. Think we can crack it?"

I don't think Guido really expected an answer. He

was just talking to break the silence that had fallen over

us as we stood looking at our target.

The Municipal Building was an imposing structure,

with thick stone walls and a corner tower that stretched

up almost out of sight into the darkness. It didn't look

like we could put a dent in it with a cannon ... if we had

a cannon, which we didn't. I was used to the tents of the

Bazaar or the rather ramshackle building style of Klah.

While I had been gradually getting over being overawed

by the construction prevalent here in Blut, this place in-

timidated me. I'd seen shakier looking mountains!

"Well, one thing's for certain," I began, almost

under my breath.

"What's that?"

"Staring at it isn't going to make it any weaker."

MYTH-ING PERSONS 99

Neither of my assistants laughed at my joke, but then

again, neither did I.

Shaking off a feeling of foreboding, I turned to my

staff.

"All right, Guido. You stay down here and keep

watch. Massha? Do you think that belt of yours can lift

two? It's time I went topside and took a good look at

this impregnable cell."

My apprentice licked her lips nervously and shrugged.

"I don't know, Hot Stuff. I warned you that the con-

trols on this thing don't work right. It could lift us right

into orbit for all I know."

I patted her shoulder in what I hoped was a reassuring

way.

"Well, give it a try and we'll find out."

She nodded, wrapped one arm around my chest, and

used her other hand to play with the jewels on her belt

buckle.

There was a sparkle of light, but beyond that nothing.

"Not enough juice," she mumbled to herself.

"So turn it up already," I urged.

- Even if the vampires tended to avoid light, we were lit

up like a Christmas tree and bound to attract attention

if we stayed at ground level much longer.

"Cross your fingers," she said grimly and touched

the jewels again.

The light intensified and we started up fast ... too

fast.

"Careful, Boss!" Guido shouted and grabbed my

legs as they went past him.

That brought our progress to a halt... well, almost.

Instead of rocketing up into the night, we were rising

slowly, almost imperceptibly.

"That's got it, High Roller!" Massha exclaimed,

shifting her grip to hang onto me with both arms. "A

100 Robert Asprin

little more ballast than I had planned on, though."

I considered briefly telling Guido to let go, but re-

jected the thought. If the bodyguard released his grip,

we'd doubtless resume our previous speed... and while

a lot of folks at the Bazaar talked about my meteoric

rise, I'd just as soon keep the phrase figurative. There

was also the minor detail that we were already at a

height where it would be dangerous for Guido to try

dropping back to the street. There was that, and his

death-grip on my legs.

"Don't tell me, let me guess," I called down to him.

"You're acrophobic, too?"

The view of Blut that was unfolding beneath us was