Robert Heinlein - I Will Fear No Evil

"Yes?"

"You were sweet to all those ladies and you got two unmarried ones pregnant and I'm rich enough to get away with it and right now you are feeling young—I know you are! Will you pick me up and carry me over there? Or shall I walk?"

"Eunice."

"Let's both walk. But hurry."

"Yes. Yes, darling."

She jumped up, took his hand...as the house intercom sounded with: "Mr. Salomon! Rockford here. Your car is waiting."

Joan said, "Oh, my God!" and started to cry.

Jake put his arm around her and petted her. "I'm sorry, darling."

"Jake. Tell them to go get dinner. Tell them to be back in, uh, two hours."

"No, dear."

She stomped her bare foot. "Jake, I won't, I won't! This is unbearable."

He said quietly, "You promised. Look, darling, I'm not nineteen years old and able to perform in back seats of cars or on back, porches with a party going on in the house. I have to have quiet and peace." (Don't believe him, dear! Though he might be scared off for a first time.) Joan bawled and shook her head. He spoke loudly:

"Rockford!"

"Yes, sir?"

"We'll be out in a moment or two. Keep the reactor warm."

He stepped to the wall and squeezed down the intercom to zero, then said gently, "Get dressed, dear."

"I won't! If we leave now, you'll have to stuff me into the car bare naked."

He sighed and picked her up; she stopped crying and looked suddenly happy.

The expression did not last. He turned her in his arms as he sat down on a straight chair, got a firm grip on her, and walloped her right buttock. She yelped. And struggled.

He got her more firmly, placing his right leg over both of hers, and applied his hand smartly to her left cheek. Then he alternated sides, stopping with ten. He set her on her feet and said, "Get dressed, dear. Quickly."

She stopped rubbing the punished area. "Yes, Jake."

Neither said another word until he had handed her into the car, climbed in after her, and they had been locked in. Then she said timidly, "Jake? Will you hold me?"

"Certainly, darling."

"May I take my robe off, please? Will you take it off me?"

With the robe out of the way she sighed and snuggled in. After a bit she whispered, "Jake darling? Why did you spank me?"

It was his turn to sigh. "You were being difficult... and it is the only thing I know of which will do a woman any good when a man can't do for her what she needs. And right then—I couldn't."

"I see. I think I do."

She remained quiet a while, enjoying his arms around her and breathing against his chest. Then she said, "Dear? Did you ever spank Eunice?"

"Once."

"For the same reason?"

"Not quite. Well, somewhat. She teased me into it." (I tickled him, dear. And got the surprise of my life.)

"Then I'm glad you spanked me, too. But I'll try not to tease you—though I'll never be the angel she was." (Fallen angel, Boss. And enjoyed it all, clear down to the Pit.)

"Jake?"

"Yes, Eunice?"

"I didn't really mind being spanked by you. Even when I was crying. But—Well, I'm padded now— Built to take a spanking. And when you are spanking me, you aren't ignoring me—and any attention is better than none. And besides—" She hesitated.

"Besides what, Eunice?"

"Well, I don't know—but I think it happened."

"What happened?"

"Female orgasm. Well, maybe. I don't know what one is supposed to feel like. But while I was crying and hurting; you have a heavy hand, sir—suddenly I felt very warm inside and something seemed to grow and explode—that's the best I can describe it. And I was ecstatically happy and didn't mind the last few wallops, hardly noticed them. Was that a female orgasm?"

"How would I know, dearest? Perhaps you'll be able to tell me. Later."

"Later tonight?"

"Uh, I think not, Eunice. It's late and we have had nothing to eat and I'm tired even if you aren't—"

"I am, rather. But happy."

"So tonight we'll rest. When it does happen—and I'm no longer fighting it—let's make the first time absolutely private and quiet. No phones and no servants and no distractions. After that—well, it might be target-of-oppor­tunity. But I'm not a kid. You know what I mean, darling; you've been old, too."

"Yes, dearest, much older than you are. Eunice can wait. Jake? What was this teasing Eunice did that was so bad it got her spanked?"

He suddenly grinned. "The little imp tickled me until I nearly went out of my mind. So I spanked her. But we were alone, and that ended satisfactorily. Quite."

"How?"

"How do you think? I excelled my usual mediocre performance, and Eunice—there aren't words for it, but she excelled her utter perfection, impossible as that sounds." (He darn near split me like a melon, twin—and I wanted him to!)

"So? Someday I will tickle you—and get spanked for it. So take your vitamins, dear. Jake, you enjoyed spanking me. Didn't you?"

He was silent several moments. "I enjoyed it so much that I spanked you neither as hard nor as long as I wanted to. And started feeling ‘young' as you put it—but knew that, if I didn't get you out of the house right then, you probably wouldn't leave at all. And I don't care to advertise it to servants."

"You had better marry me. So we can ignore servants."

"You had better shut up. You're still learning to be a girl, and I'm still learning how to handle you. You're Eunice—but you aren't Eunice. And we must clear up legal matters before we talk about such things."

"Old mean. Girl beater. Sadist. Hold me tight."

Jake escorted Joan Eunice to her boudoir. Winnie was waiting there-to Joan's annoyance as she thought it possible that Jake's stern character might slip if the upper house was quiet. But she did not show it. "Hi, Winnie!"

"Miss Joan! Are you all right? I've been so worried!"

"Of course I'm all right; Mr. Salomon was taking care of me. Why were you worried, dear?"

"Why, the dreadful things they've been saying about you in the news and there was a riot at the Hall of Justice; I saw it. And—"

"Winnie, Winnie! The idiot box is for idiots; why do you look at it? I was never in danger."

"But she has had a trying day, so you take good care of her, Winnie."

"Oh, I will, sir!"

"And I am tired, too, so I'll say good-night and go to bed. After I find a sandwich, perhaps."

"Hubert put a tray in your suite, sir."

"Hubert gets another merit badge. Though to tell the truth, Winnie, I've had a worrisome day myself, and it's left me with little appetite and jangled nerves. I may dine on a sleeping pill."

"Jake dear—"

"Yes, Eunice?"

"Don't take a pill. And do eat."

"But—"

"I know, I'm a bundle of nerves myself. But I know what to do about it—and Winnie and I can soothe your nerves and restore your appetite and make you sleep like a baby."

He cocked one eyebrow, looked at Eunice, then at Winnie. "I think either of you could. But both?"

"Jake, you're a dirty-minded old man; you'll have Winnie blushing. But we can—can't we, Winnie? The Money Hum."

"Oh. Yes, we can, Mr. Salomon."

"Harrumph! Does it involve blood? Or broken bones?"

"Oh, no, sir! It's restful. Relaxing."

"I'll try anything once."

Joan said, "But you have to strip for it to—"

"I thought there was a catch."

"Oh, Jake. We'll let you sissy; you can wear shorts. We strip for it; the spiritual effect is better. It's the way we warm up for our exercises. Go undress; then put on shorts and a robe. We'll join you in the Green Suite. Right after it you're going to have a bite to eat and a tepid tub and straight to bed and right to sleep."

"Maybe I'd better bathe first. A day in court leaves me smelling like a skunk."