David Garnet - Bikini Planet

They kissed.

“Where are we?” said Wayne. “Caff-what?”

“Caphmiaultrelvossmuaf.”

“Everything’s very…”

“Wet?”

“… red,” said Wayne.

“Like your eyes.”

He blinked for a few seconds. His eyes no longer felt so sore.

“Ninety-nine percent of the surface is water,” said Kiru. “The Caphafers have evolved from creatures that lived in the sea. Like humans did.”

“Except they still live in the sea.”

“Mostly, because most of the planet is water. They’re amphibious. They can go on land. Not that there’s much on the land. That’s why this world is ripe for development.”

“Development?” said Wayne. “You mean like… boats?”

“People have to get around.”

“The locals don’t need boats. They don’t need bikinis, either.”

“Bikinis?” said Kiru. “What’s a bikini?”

“I was asked that once before, back on Earth. By Colonel Travis. Or Eliot Ness. Or maybe it was his daughter.”

“And what’s the answer?”

“You sent that native to meet me, to greet me?”

“The Caphafer, yes. We knew the capsule was coming down, and I wanted to be there, but the natives can swim much faster than a skimmer can go.”

“Yeah, okay. A bikini is what the alien was wearing. A two-piece swimsuit. Designed for a female. A human female.”

“If the Caphafers are going to work here,” said Kiru, “they mustn’t offend the tourists. They have to be covered for the sake of modesty. They’ve got these big, ugly, dangly things down there.” She gestured wildly. “And the males are even worse.” She burst out laughing.

Wayne just looked at her, and he shook his head. “You’re different, Kiru.”

“Don’t you like me?”

“No,” he said. “But I love you.”

They kissed. Again.

“This is wonderful, Kiru.”

“I know.”

“You’re wonderful.”

“I know.”

“You’re so lovely, so attractive, so beautiful, so glamorous, so exotic, so perfect, so everything.”

“Stop it, Wayne. You’re making me blush.”

“In this light, I can’t tell.” Wayne sighed. “Is this real? Are we really together again? I must be dreaming. I’ve thought of you every day, every hour, every minute, since we were forced apart.”

“Me, too,” said Kiru. “Of course.”

“Stand up,” said Wayne. He rose to his feet, pulling Kiru up. Once she was standing on the deck, he knelt down in front of her. “I mean it. I love you, Kiru.”

“And I… I like you, whoever you are.”

“I love you, Kiru. Not just now, not this minute, but forever. Will you marry me?”

“Marry?”

“There is still such a thing as marriage, isn’t there?”

“You’re offering me a nuptial contract?”

“Yeah, could be. Doesn’t sound very romantic.”

But this was very romantic, Kiru realised, as she gazed down at Wayne before looking beyond him at the alien world where they had found themselves, watching the red rain falling from the red sky into the red ocean.

Wayne said, “This is what I promised I’d do if we ever met again. If? No, when . I swore that we’d be wed, Kiru. Because nothing can stop a love like ours. The universe exists because of us, for us. Time is no barrier. This is why I’ve lived so long. The years couldn’t keep us apart, Kiru. Neither could the light years.” He reached for her, turning her face back toward his. She looked down at him. He looked up at her.

“You must be wondering about my prospects,” he continued, “my career opportunities. So am I. All I know is my future will be your future. Our future. We’ll have forever, Kiru. What do you say?”

She said nothing.

“Will you marry me?” Wayne said again.

She didn’t know what to say.

“You don’t have to say ‘yeah,’ not yet. But please don’t say ‘no’. You’re not smiling anymore, my love. I know what you’re thinking.”

“You do?” said Kiru. She was so stunned she couldn’t think of anything. “What?”

“You’re remembering your life before me. Whatever you did, Kiru, it doesn’t matter. I forgive you.”

“You forgive me?”

“I do, yeah.”

“For what?”

“Because of your past. Because I wasn’t the first man you ever… er… ever…”

“My past! You’ve got far more past than I have, or so you say. Three hundred years of it!”

“Yeah, but I was flat on my back most of the time.”

So was I, thought Kiru, but she kept the thought to herself. In Wayne’s original time, it seemed, when a couple had sex it meant mating for life. How primitive.

But that was one of the things she liked about him, how he was so innocent yet also so savage. And he had a great body. As for his mind, what went on inside his head? What made him think she’d ever want to marry him?

In time, maybe, but it was far too early to make a decision.

How long had they been together? An hour on Caphmiaultrelvossmuaf? Two on Hideaway? Three on the spaceship?

Probably the best few hours of her life.

“Get up, Wayne,” she said, pulling at his arm.

“Not until you give me an answer,” he said.

“I can’t be rushed into such an important decision, but I promise you one thing: If I’m going to marry anyone, Wayne, it will be you.”

“Great!” Wayne stood up and kissed her cheek. “So we can consider ourselves engaged?”

“What’s that?”

“It means we won’t date anyone else.”

“What’s that?”

Wayne shook his head. “Give me a smile, Kiru. You’re a supernova lighting up my whole universe.”

“Wayne, you don’t have to lie to me. I can always tell when someone’s lying.”

“How?”

“Because they open their mouths. My whole life has been shaped by lies. I don’t want your eternal love and devotion, Wayne. Just be honest and true with me.”

“If everyone was honest and true, the whole galaxy would fall apart.”

Kiru and Wayne both turned their heads, glancing over the side of the skimmer, toward the voice.

Without either of them realising, the airboat had piloted itself back to the land and had settled down on the shoreline. The Caphafers spent most of their lives in the sea, and the hundreds of small islands that dotted the globe were usually barren and rocky.

This was the island where Eliot Ness had established his headquarters, where the first development was taking place. The new buildings were like giant sandcastles, spiralling upward, every successive level becoming narrower as it became taller. They were growing at an amazing rate. The sea-bed was dredged up to provide the raw, red material for this vertical development and also for horizontal expansion. The island was speading, its natural shape sculpted and redesigned by the addition of piers and marinas, lagoons and swimming pools, criss-crossed by bridges and aqueducts.

Kiru stared at the person who had spoken. She thought she knew all the humans on Caphmiaultrelvossmuaf. This must have been a newcomer, although she seemed familiar. She was standing near the edge of the water, wearing an outfit similar to the one Eliot Ness always wore.

“Diana!” said Wayne.

“Get dressed, Sergeant,” said the woman.

“How can I?” said Wayne. “You’re wearing my suit.”

“You know her?” said Kiru, who began pulling on her clothes.

“Yeah,” said Wayne. “This is Major Diana Travis, Colonel Travis’s daughter. Diana, this is Kiru.”

“I know,” said Diana.

“You!” said Kiru, suddenly recognising the woman. Her hair was covered by a hat, her features half in shadow, but Kiru would never forget her face. “You’re dead!” she yelled, and reached down for the gun.