Gord Zajac - Major Karnage

“Heck,” Karnage said. “You’re not laughin’ no more.”

“He even talks some now,” Koch replied.

Karnage turned to Heckler. “Is that true?”

Heckler whispered in Koch’s ear. “He said he’s doing better, but he’s not one hundred per cent yet. And he’s sorry. For all the laughing. Says he couldn’t help it.”

“You got nothing to apologize for, Sergeant,” Karnage said, “with what you been through. I’m just glad to know you’re gettin’ better.”

“He says you should thank Cookie for that,” Koch stated after a moment’s whispering. “It’s all his doing.”

Karnage grew excited. “Cookie? He’s here?” He craned his neck, hoping to see the corporal emerge from the dark. “Where is he? Why isn’t he here?”

Koch and Vel shared an uncomfortable look.

“It’s… complicated,” Vel said.

“What do you mean it’s complicated?”

“He’s not the same,” Koch replied.

“Not the same how?” Karnage grew alarmed. “What the hell’s happened to him?”

Heckler leaned in and whispered in Koch’s ear. “He says we should just show him, Vel.”

“All right.” Velasquez leaned her gun against her shoulder.

“Follow me.”

Velasquez led Karnage and the others through the darkened corridor, the occasional white throb of light illuminating their way. The squiggly pipe on the wall grew wider the deeper they travelled down the corridor. Soon, the pulse of white squiggling down the tube was as thick around as a beach ball. They followed the tube into a round chamber where the tube coursed up into the middle of the ceiling and descended straight down, ending in an open sarcophagus held by three gnarled talons pouring up from the floor. Inside the sarcophagus, Karnage saw a familiar face.

“Cookie.” Karnage walked up beside the sarcophagus. The tube ran down into Cookie’s head, fading from translucence to the opaque flesh colour of Cookie’s skin. White light throbbed out of Cookie’s head like a heartbeat.

Karnage looked at Cookie in horror. “What the hell did they do to him?”

“They’ve made him part of the system,” Velasquez said. “Like a fucking computer chip. He’s supposed to be watching over some kind of subsystem. He told me what it was once. I can’t remember what. Probably stuck working the shitters. Poor bastard.”

Karnage could see inside Cookie’s skull through the tube. His head looked hollow. Karnage turned to Stumpy. “You ever seen anything like this before?”

Stumpy just shook his head, his eyes fixed on Cookie’s mangled body.

“They tried to destroy his mind,” Velasquez said, “but he’s still in there. He’s still Cookie. Go on, Major. Talk to him.”

Karnage stood over the sarcophagus. “Cookie?”

There was no reaction. Karnage tried again.

“Cookie? Are you awake?”

Cookie half-opened his eyes. His voice was barely a whisper. “Oh. Hey, Major. You made it. I wasn’t sure—”

A crackling oscillation of green energy tore down through the pipe, coursing into Cookie’s head. He convulsed in pain, his fists clenched.

“What’s happening?” Karnage barked. “What’s going on?”

Velasquez’s eyes were hard and cold—like she’d seen this too many times before. “They keep doing that to him,” she said. “That green light is fucking killing him.”

The green light dissipated, and Cookie relaxed. He lifted his wrist from his lap and slowly crooked a finger at Karnage. “Sit down next to me, so I don’t have to talk so loud.”

Karnage knelt beside the sarcophagus. Cookie motioned him closer. Karnage leaned in until his ear was almost pressed to Cookie’s lips.

Cookie let out a gentle sigh of relief. “That’s better.” His voice was nothing but breath. “What’s on your mind, Major?”

“I came back to stop the squidbugs,” Karnage said.

“That a fact?” Cookie whispered.

Karnage nodded. “It is.”

Cookie stayed quiet a long time. He took a deep breath. “Do you know how you’re going to do it yet?”

“I’ve got some ideas,” Karnage said, “but I was hoping you could help me work out the kinks.”

“Let’s hear what you’ve got.”

“I been told the squidbugs are like an insect colony. Or a hive,” Karnage said. “That they take their orders from a central queen. And that queen is runnin’ everything. How’s that sound so far, Cookie?”

“Not bad,” Cookie whispered. “Keep going.”

Karnage went on. “The way I figure it, the squidbugs are nothin’ without this queen. Just a buncha mindless squiggly beasts. We kill the queen, and their command structure goes down. The whole organization descends into chaos.

“The only problem is, I don’t know how to do it. Where’s the queen? What does she look like? How do I kill her? I’m hopin’ you can help me with that.”

“I’ll try, Major,” Cookie said. “I’ll try.”

He closed his eyes again. Karnage waited patiently, hoping Cookie was just mustering his strength.

“The queen,” Cookie said, “isn’t a queen. It’s…”

“What is it, Cookie? What is it?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Nothing? What do you mean ‘nothing’? It’s gotta be somethin’, Cookie. Everything’s somethin’.”

“Not this thing. It has… no body. No shape… no physical form. It’s pure intelligence… nothin’ else. Just a collection of energy… holdin’ itself together through sheer… willpower… pure thought… pure energy…

“It controls everything… knows everything.” Cookie gave a weak smile. “At least, it thinks it does… I been jammin’ the signal when I can. It’s not easy, but… I been tryin’ to do my part. Not always well, but… I tried. I really tried.” Cookie’s face fell. “I’m sorry, Major.”

“You got nothin’ to apologize for, soldier. You done good.” Karnage placed a reassuring hand on Cookie’s shoulder. “How do I kill this thing, Cookie? Tell me how to destroy it.”

“You can’t,” Cookie said. “You can’t destroy… energy, but you can disperse it… convert it to other forms…”

“Disperse it?” Karnage said. “You mean like with an explosion?”

“An explosion might do it,” Cookie said. “If it’s big enough.”

“How big?”

“Spragmos LV75 rocket… should do it,” Cookie said.

“You wouldn’t happen to have one of those lying around, would you?”

Cookie smiled. “Vel?”

Velasquez jerked a thumb to a darkened alcove. “Got everything you’ll need over here.”

Karnage looked down at Cookie. “You been plannin’ this a while, haven’t you?”

“I’m tryin’, Major… tryin’ to do everything I can. It’s so hard. It’s so…” Cookie closed his eyes. He opened them again in a few minutes. “You need to go, Major… need to hurry. The Intelligence… it’s dormant right now… lying in hibernation… inside the Nucleus… until a host can be prepared.”

“If it’s lyin’ dormant, then what’s runnin’ the invasion?”

“The Intelligence,” Cookie said. “It’s so smart it can do it in its sleep… doesn’t take any effort… like breathing. When it wakes… that’s why you have to hurry, Major… have to stop it before it finds a host…”

“What’s the host you keep talkin’ about?”

“It takes a new body whenever it arrives at a new world… always something local… easier to adjust… more adapted to our atmosphere…”

Another oscillation of green stabbed down into Cookie’s head. Cookie’s mouth opened in a silent scream. Karnage shouted up at the tube. “Quit fryin’ his brain, you squiggly bastards!”

The green dissipated, and Cookie lay silently frowning, his pupils fluttering back and forth beneath his shut eyelids. Finally, his eyes creaked open, and he licked his chapped lips. “…it adapts everything… takes bits and pieces of it all… creates something new… something that’ll accept both lifeforms… a middle ground…”