Meg Elison - The Book of the Unnamed Midwife

My mom got it first, then my little sister Violet, then me. Violet died first and my dad went crazy. We called and called for someone to help, and then for someone to come get the body. Cell service died and we had to bury her ourselves. I thought that was the worst thing I would have to do, but I had to bury my mom a week later. I’m always adjusting to the new worst thing.

My dad went out to find water one day, early in the morning before sunrise. I waited but he never came back. I had to go out on my own.

I made it almost a month, but I couldn’t get out of the city. I was so scared. I carried a baseball bat and I only moved when I knew I wouldn’t see anyone. When I ran into Mark, I assumed the worst. I hit him twice with the bat in his belly. He caught the bat and I was terrified, but he just sat down on the ground and asked me to talk to him. He convinced me and we traveled together most of that year. He got us out of Arkansas and we headed toward Tennessee. Everywhere we went, all we saw was men. A lot of them were dangerous and most of them wanted me. Mark killed for me. I thought that was going to be hard to live with, but it’s not.

Mark got swept away by the spring floods and I couldn’t save him. I barely got away myself. I was so depressed after that, I don’t know how I lived through it. I met Kacie that summer, and she tried to teach me how to keep a few guys on a string, to protect me and take care of me. Kacie had five guys. One of them was pretty old, maybe in his forties. The rest were ok. People here at the Fort call it a Hive. Kacie said it was just the natural reaction to things. She was a grad student in anthropology, so I guess she’d know. I could never get used to it. She asked me to join them, and said we could pick up some more guys for me, no problem. I didn’t like it. I should have stayed. I didn’t know how bad things could get.

When I left them I headed north and I think I was in Kentucky but maybe it was Illinois. I was alone for a long time. I’ve heard some of the other women here tell how they dressed like men and I wish I’d thought of that. I didn’t even cut my hair.

When the slave traders found me I figured I would die. They beat the shit out of me and raped me for days. They had one other girl, Chandra. They traded us both for a gas station, but then they came back in the middle of the night to steal us from the two guys who bought us. They killed them and we lived at the gas station for a long time. They brought in cars and motorcycles from all over and used them to bring stuff back. We had a motel to sleep in and thank god I was there the night they blew up the station. I don’t know how they did it and I don’t care. It gave me enough of a diversion to run away. I don’t know if Chandra made it.

I didn’t know I was pregnant until I got here. Dr. Jane says not to get my hopes up. I know. I told her I’ll take anything after the baby dies. If I make it. I don’t ever want to do this again. I don’t care if none of the babies live. We don’t deserve it, as a species. Evolution.

Barry Range l

I am so glad I found this place. I thought I would never see anything like civilization again. A community, a society, a group of people getting along together just means so much.

Chicago fell apart faster than I would have ever imagined. If I hadn’t been with the highway patrol, if I hadn’t had guns, I don’t know what would have happened to me. I had nobody to worry about but myself, so I headed into the city. What a nightmare! I’ll never forget it. Buildings on fire and screaming and dead bodies in the street. I saw someone lynched from a telephone pole, I couldn’t make any sense of that. People saw my uniform and started asking for my help, but I didn’t know what I could do. Then people started to try to steal my gun and I just took off. I don’t know what I owed those people, but I had to run.

I stopped to get some food in a store in Springfield one day and that’s where I saw my first Hive. This woman was very smart. She looked at me like she was a spider and I was a fly, but she was calling herself Queen B. They had a beautiful house, a mansion really. There was a gas generator and they were bringing in fuel from all over. They had tons of food and guns and a really great setup. There must have been forty guys in and out of there, I don’t know why she wanted to add more men to the mix.

I guess there’s no reason to lie. I wasn’t married, no girlfriend. I had nobody to turn my back on. I stayed there for a while. I wouldn’t say I got to know her well. I know her real name was Bonnie and she was an actress. She was good-looking. Red headed and green-eyed, and she was really good in bed, the kind of thing a man dreams about. I told her I had never slept with a white woman before. She laughed and told me there were no firsts left. I still had a couple.

I never had group sex before, or any kind of sex with a man. We would work all day and pretty much fuck all night. It wasn’t the worst setup I’ve ever seen. I would do it again, if someone started a Hive here. Especially if it was Tamara. But I really wanted something more. I knew we wouldn’t be able to get gas forever, or find food forever. Bonnie wasn’t interested in farming, and she said she had her tubes tied. There wasn’t a future there.

That all seems like a dream I had now. Hive life is like something out of Penthouse letters, but like from the Mad Max world. I’m here and I can still have a good time with a couple of the people I know, but I also have a job. I have a community and a life here. That’s what I came for.

Mariah Sweeney

I never thought I would be the kind of woman who has a Hive.

I was too old, to begin with. Forty when the shit hit the fan, and not very good looking. It just kind of happened.

I was living outside of Oshkosh. I never got sick. My Davy brought home our neighbor, Gus Szalinsky and my brother in law Jerry. We were all scared together and had to stay pretty close. Both of their wives had died, and we had lost our Nina. No kids, all of us worried about the same thing, it was bound to happen. Davy was jealous at first, and he couldn’t be around me and Jerry. But eventually it was all four of us together. It felt like we were a family. And I could end any fight and solve any problem and make everybody feel better by just laying us all down.

When Phil joined us, I was starting to feel like it was too many men. Then we added Hank, Jax, and Matt. Jax was only sixteen years old. He was so beautiful and so young, and I never thought he’d want to sleep with me. Everything got so tangled up and strange. In some ways, it’s been the freest time in my life. It feels terrible to say that with my Nina dead of the fever. I miss her every day. I miss everything. It’s awful and selfish and heartless, but I have to live. I’m living.

We moved on together. We ran into trouble looking for guns, that’s when Gus and Matt got shot. We got a shotgun out of it but it wasn’t worth it. We lost Phil right after that from some sickness. I think it was from eating bad food. It’s a terrible thing to say, but he basically shit himself to death. The rest of us found our way here. They separated us to ask us some questions. I haven’t seen anyone out raping or taking slaves but I guess they’ve seen a lot of that here. We saw murderers, so I guess it’s not far off. I told them that my guys weren’t like that, and that we were used to taking care of each other.

We all got a barracks together, but Davy left us last year. He wanted to be monogamous with someone, but I can’t go back to that. I’m living with Jax, Hank, and Jerry.

I don’t like the term Hive. I don’t think of it like that. We’re more like a web.

I don’t know what the future will bring. I wish I could have another child. I’m not on anything, and I still get my period, but it just hasn’t happened. I know none of the babies survive, but we can’t stop trying. I wish Jax could get me pregnant. That’s what I’d choose.