F. Fowler - Fifty Shades of Chicken

¾ pound fresh mozzarella, thinly sliced

6 submarine rolls (or 8-inch lengths of baguette or Italian bread), split and toasted

Butter, as needed (the more the better)

½ cup chopped fresh basil (optional)

1 In a large bowl, whisk together 3 tablespoons of the oil, the lemon juice, tarragon, garlic, lemon zest, and a large pinch of salt and pepper. Transfer 1½ tablespoons of the dressing to a small bowl and set aside. Add the chicken to the remaining dressing in the large bowl and let marinate at room temperature for 30 minutes, or cover and refrigerate for 4 hours or, even better, overnight until it begs for you.

2 In a medium bowl, toss the tomato slices with the reserved lemon-herb dressing and let sit while you cook the chicken.

3 When the chicken can no longer stand the anticipation, heat the remaining 3 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Gently wipe away any clinging bits of garlic from the bird’s soft flesh, and season the cutlets with salt and pepper.

4 Working in batches, sear the chicken, without turning, until golden on one side, 2 to 3 minutes. Top each cutlet with some of the cheese. Cover the pan and cook until the cheese has melted and oozed all over the cutlets and the chicken is quite done, 1 to 2 minutes more.

5 Grease up the toasted rolls liberally with the butter. To assemble the sandwiches, place 1 cutlet on the bottom half of each roll. Top with some of the tomato, then a sprinkling of basil, if using. Repeat the layering of chicken, tomato, and basil; cover each sandwich with the top half of the roll.

S lap! Smack! Whack!

He has me in his twitchy palms, kneading me vigorously and slapping me into patties. Each smack of his hand pushes me closer to the edge of my limits.

“Ow!”

“Stamina, Chicken,” he says in a low voice.

It’s not the whacking. I’ve come to crave the safe, warm feeling I get after a good licking. It’s the aromatics that are heating me up.

After all we’ve been through, after all the hot and saucy things he’s done to me, at heart I still long to look like myself, to feel like myself, taste like myself. Despite his talk of ingredient expression, he still seems to be hung up on expressing spices through me.

“Ow! We need to talk.”

He stills his hands, and his expression clouds. I’m no longer afraid of Shifty’s moods, but it still makes me pause.

“I can’t take this, night after night,” I explain. “These strong flavors are wearing me out.”

His face looks pained. “You’re leaving me?”

He still doesn’t get it? I feel exasperation welling. “No, you big paranoid fussbudget. I want the chance to express myself. I want the freedom to be me. ” I wonder how he feels about losing the cookbook deal. Oh, Little Booklet.

“These flavors are part of what makes us work so well.” He says this with conviction, but his eyes look vulnerable and slightly scared. Is he really afraid I won’t stick around? Poor, messed-up foodie. No, stand your ground, Chicken.

“I want more. I want you to want me for my tasty dark meat and succulent white meat. I want you to crisp my skin.”

“I know, hearts and flowers, a big china platter and a carving knife. And then what? Taters, baby?”

I give up. “Stop kidding around and cook me already.”

“Chicken, do you know you’re delicious when you’re angry?”

chicken sliders with thai flavors and sriracha mayonnaise

SERVES 2

1 pound ground chicken, preferably a mix of light and dark meat

1 tablespoon chopped fresh Thai or regular basil

1 tablespoon Asian fish sauce

1 tablespoon finely grated peeled fresh gingerroot

1½ teaspoons light brown sugar

1 lime, zested and juiced

2 scallions, white and green parts, chopped

2 garlic cloves, finely chopped

1 serrano pepper, seeded and finely chopped

½ cup mayonnaise

2 teaspoons Sriracha or other hot sauce, or to taste

2 tablespoons peanut, safflower, or canola oil

6 slider buns

Sliced tomato, for garnish

Sliced avocado, for garnish

Thinly sliced red onion, for garnish

Kosher salt, to taste

1 In a large bowl, massage the chicken with the basil, fish sauce, ginger, brown sugar, lime zest, scallions, garlic, and serrano pepper until she’s thoroughly inundated with them. In a separate bowl, whisk together the mayonnaise, lime juice, and Sriracha.

2 Form the chicken into 6 equal-size patties (each about ¾ inch thick). Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add the oil. Cook the patties until the meat is just cooked through, 3 to 4 minutes per side.

3 Spread some of the mayo mixture on the inside of each slider bun and top with burgers. Garnish with tomato, avocado, and red onion. Sprinkle with salt. Enjoy with plenty of napkins.

I’m at rest under a big sheet of foil. My legs and breast are warm and relaxed. My skin is perfectly crisped, my insides are still tingling where his fingers seasoned me. Jeez, does he know how to roast a girl.

I’m slightly suspicious, though. He hasn’t spiced or flavored me, just a quick bath in citrus. This isn’t the Shifty Blades I’ve come to expect.

“Ready?” he asks. There’s something different in his voice.

He whisks the sheet off me with a flourish, and I’m struck completely speechless.

There, in front of me, awaits a china platter garlanded with the most beautiful flowers I’ve ever seen. The table is set with exquisite china and silver flatware. Sweet music is playing on the stereo, the Dixie Chicks, I think. A flute of Cristal glistens in the candlelight. On another plate is a heap of garnishes topped with hearts of palm.

“You wanted hearts and flowers,” he says shyly.

I can’t believe he’s done this.

“Here are the hearts…” He pulls over the plate of hearts of palm.

“And these are the flowers,” I whisper, finishing his sentence. “Oh, Blades, it looks delicious.”

“I think it will be wonderful in our cookbook,” he murmurs. There are tears in his eyes.

Little Booklet? “I thought the contract was canceled after your editor stole your recipes, blackmailed you, and tried to blow you up.”

“I had another publisher up my sleeve. You don’t think I’d put all my eggs in one basket, do you?”

My Shifty, my Chef. I know deep down I will always be his and he will always be mine.

roasted chicken with hearts of palm, avocado, and orange salsa

SERVES 4

Zest of ½ orange

2 tablespoons freshly squeezed orange juice

Zest of 1 lime

2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lime juice

2 garlic cloves, minced